cock Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fan Who Wore That LeBron Heat Jersey To An Indians Game Last Summer In Serious Condition After Attack
"Matthew Bellamy was attacked at about 3 a.m. Monday in the 2000 block of Oldgate Road, Sandusky police said. Witnesses told police that Bellamy, 30, didn't fight back when Robert Horton, 23, jumped out of a car and hit him three times." [Sandusky Register]...

Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....

To Hell With Turkish Basketball, Kevin Love Wants To Play Beach Volleyball For Jose Cuervo
While most locked out NBA players eye basketball opportunities overseas, one man stands apart as a true patriot. His name is Kevin Love. And Kevin Love loves America. Or, rather, Kevin Love loves NAFTA. According to Darren Rovell, Love has signed an endorsement deal with the Jose Cuervo tequileria a...

Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership....

Chris Kluwe Responds: Can I Kick It? (Yes, I Can)
Dear Nate Jackson,...

NFL Network "Obtained" NFLPA Email To Players, Says Story On NFL.com
All that giddy chatter about the NFL lockout possibly ending tonight? Yeah, you can just forget all about that. Here are the top three paragraphs in a story appearing on NFL.com under the headline, "NFLPA expresses displeasure with league in email to player reps" ......

End Of Two-A-Days: The Players Win An Early Labor Battle
It's being framed as Bart Scott playing the contrarian, but that's burying the lede. The real story is the elimination of two-a-day practices in training camp, a change midwifed during these climactic lockout negotiations....

Your Guide To The Post-Lockout NFL World
The NFL lockout is supposed to end this week, possibly as early as today. And Lord help me, IT BETTER, or else I will personally void my bowels on Logan Mankins's head....

Buffalo Bills WR Celebrates His Birthday With A Cake That Looks Like His Ladyfriend's Ass
Writes tipster Mark S., "Buffalo Bills WR Stevie Johnson is a strange soul. Blaming god for a dropped ball in November, and now a nice big booty birthday cake."...

Here's Ndamukong Suh Dancing To Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"
When we last checked in on Ndamukong Suh, he was eating himself. Now he's tweeting himself dancing to "Hot n Cold." This is his first and likely last Katy-Perry-inspired video, as the lockout looks close to over and he'd have to get a permit to strap fireworks to his chest in Michigan. [Complex]...

You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...

"Goodnight And Good Luck": Kevin-Costner-Owned Minor League Team's Announcer Quits On Air
Last week we brought you the peculiar odyssey of the Lake County Fielders, a minor league baseball club in Zion, Ill., owned in part by Kevin Costner. The Fielders' manager — former Blue Jays skipper Tim Johnson — resigned over team-wide pay disputes, many of its players refused to play, and the o...

World Peace And Breast Milk: An Evening With Ron Artest, Funny Man
In late August, after a review by the Los Angeles Superior Court, Ron Artest will legally change his name to Metta World Peace. His basketball jersey will say "WORLD PEACE." "With a space and everything," his publicist said....

Chris Kluwe's 'Downfall' Parody Has Hitler Calling Lockout Negotiators "Lazy Shitfucks"
Downfall parodies seem like they're somehow older than the internet by now. But when one is made by an actual NFL player, we're willing to listen. And Vikings punter Chris Kluwe does a pretty good job of capturing what we're all feeling about the lockout these days....

Now Playing: The Coldplay-Scored Trailer For Tony Romo's Wedding
The NFL quarterback wedding season is officially upon us, America, and for that, we are thankful — because the quarterbacks in question keep making embarrassing documentation of their weddings available to the general public. First, there was Mr. and Mrs. Flacco in formation, and today, we present...

Minor League Involving Kevin Costner, Jose Canseco, and Pete LaCock Devolves Into Extreme Chaos
One wishes there were a way to succinctly explain what the hell went on this weekend in the North American Baseball League. There isn't, but "mop-up catcher Joey Gathright" gets us pretty close to explaining the weird story of the NABL's Lake County (Ill.) Fielders, owned in part by Kevin Costner....

Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...

Pacman Jones Is Wearing A Neck Brace In His Latest Mug Shot
According to Cincinnati.com, Adam "Pacman" Jones was taken into custody early this morning. Here are the details:...

Hines Ward's Manager: "The Facts Will Show That Hines Was NOT Impaired By Alcohol While Driving"
Remember that whole "Here's Hines Ward's Mug Shot" thing from this morning? Yeah, well Hines's people want you to just forget about all that....

An Attempted Translation Of DeSean Jackson's Twitter Response To That Whole Gay-Slur Issue Thing (Updated)
Last evening, Philadelphia Eagles WR DeSean Jackson, who is embroiled in a slurmantic battle over his use of the phrase "gay-ass faggot," put his thoughts on the record about said controversy. ...