Northwestern—Fucking Northwestern!—Shells Out $270 Million For Fancy Practice Facility 

Listen. I get it, really, I do—your football team’s strung together a couple 10-win seasons; you won a few bowl games; you even signed your coach to a shiny 10-year deal. Things are looking up, as they say, and you want to strike while the iron’s hot. But when Northwestern, the most uninteresting team with the loudest…

Report: Trump-Signed Alabama Football Caused White House Drama, And Now Nobody Knows Where It Is

In a performance that had many praising its avant-garde catchphrase stylings, President Trump welcomed the national champion Alabama Crimson Tide football team to the White House last month and proceeded to speak for approximately three hours about, I assume, how he’s actually glad he didn’t win the popular vote in…

Police Say Parents Pretended Their Kid Had Cancer So He Could Meet Syracuse Football Team

The world—okay, people on the internet—okay, some people in and around Syracuse—were touched by the story of C.J. LaFrance, a 9-year-old with Hodgkin’s lymphoma who was able to visit the Orange football team last August and hang out at practice. Police now say parents Martin and Jolene LaFrance fabricated the boy’s…

Advertisement