college-football Page 285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert
Look, we're still a little unclear on why the University of Florida's mascot statue, Albert the Alligator, was placed on the Ohio State campus recently (some kind of a Nike promotion or something). All we know is that it took more than five hours for students there to destroy it, which is simply una...
No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....
Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...
Charlie Weis Hates Internal Bleeding Much More Than He Hates Donuts
In case you've fallen behind on your coverage of failed gastric bypass surgery involving major college football coaches, Notre Dame head whale Charlie Weis is in Day One of his negligence trial in which doctors ignored internal bleeding warning signs. Weis underwent the surgery in 2002 because he wa...
Dan Hawkins REALLY Wants You To Practice More
Colorado Buffaloes head coach Dan Hawkins was hired because he's not the type of guy to lure his players in with strip clubs and booze, unlike his predecessor. We respect that; nobody wants that for college students....
Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....
The Happy Underbelly Of Recruiting
On a slow news day today, we hark back again to the madness of recruiting day yesterday, not from the fans' or coaches' perspectives ... but from the players'. The grand minds at Every Day Should Be Saturday take a look at what the recruiting process means to high school kids, in a hypothetical firs...
Ron Zook Will Turn Your Conventional Wisdom Upside Down
Our beloved alma mater, the University of Illinois, is having a mediocre year in basketball and has won, like, four games in two years, even forcing us to sit through a 33-0 loss to Rutgers last year that mostly resembled a cock fight between a rabid rooster and an egg. But worry not, fellow alums: ...
Sorry Nick, We're Just 'Not Feelin' It'
Hot quarterback prospect Robert Marve of Plant High School (Tampa, Fla.) isn't going to Alabama after all. Such is the magical allure of new Tide head coach Nick Saban, who played host to Marve's recruiting visit recently and obviously told one of his folksy, down-home coon-ass stories that everyone...
Nick Saban's Odd Way Of Bonding With Reporters
Curious how new Alabama coach Nick Saban could possibly become less popular? (Well, other than screaming "Roll Tide!" while having sex with two strippers.) Well, check out this audio from an "off-the-record" chat with reporters about the whirlwind of Saban hate coming out of Miami right now....
Yahoo! Still Trying To Catch Reggie Bush
If it's a Thursday, that must mean it's time for another Yahoo !Sports investigation into gifts Reggie Bush might have received at USC. (We don't mean to make light of the hard work Yahoo! has put into its exhaustive investigation, but we repeat that it's hard to take an investigation all that serio...
Buckeyes Fans Sneak Into Game That's Probably Not Worth Sneaking Into
Our firm, Midwestern ethics have, to this point, disallowed us of the grand American tradition of sneaking into sporting events. The trick, we've heard, is to find a smoking section, and then slip in when the security guard isn't looking....
Life's Pretty Tough For Buckeyes Fans
Our friends at NBX Sports Blog have put together this compilation video of distressed Ohio State fans showing during the FOX broadcast of the Buckeyes' destruction at the hands of the Florida Gators on Monday. We've always wanted someone to make a fan montage like this; just a bunch of people puttin...
Perhaps Now We Can Put All Of This Behind Us?
We suspected as much, but Michigan Sports Center has obtained clear evidence that the exposed USC Song Girl Rose Bowl heiney is, indeed, the result of a wedgie. We'll let the crestfallen Conquest Chronicles explain:...
A Strange Way To Go After An Arena Football Job
Far be it from us to tell anyone how to deal with the tragic loss of a family member ... but this seems like an awfully strange way to do it....
Crowning Our Pants Party Winner
Well, the bowls are finally, FINALLY over, and, as much as the bowl system might be ridiculous and a relic of a time when everybody gathered around the fireplace and listened to the games on their 100-pound radios, we must confess that they were more entertaining than we had anticipated. We could wa...
Let's Go To The Studio, Where It's Jimmy With Keggy And The Gang
Considering that FOX has barely showed any college football this year and therefore has no established halftime "in the studio" team, we were curious how they would handle last night, which after all was the supposed biggest game of the year. We admire their conclusion: They just picked two retired ...
Scott Weiland Gets His Lee Corso On
If you're not up on your aging "psychedelic" hair metal band sports trivia, former Stone Temple Pilots and current Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland is an inexplicable fan of Notre Dame football. (We guess his dad went there; amazingly, Weiland didn't make the trip.) This morning, Weiland relea...
Don't You Forget About Ron Zook
The Florida Gators might have overcome a few years of questionable coaching decisions, rugby-style kicks, random substitutions and BALLS OUT INTENSITY to win a national championship ... but rest assured, Ron Zook shall return triumphant! The Zooker's improving! And comin' atcha!...
BCS Blogdome: There's Got To Be A Morning After
What they're saying in Blogville about Florida's 41-14 win over Ohio State in Monday's BCS Championship Game ......