college Page 391 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Signing Day Was Best Ever, Says Every Coach Everywhere
Now that the first letters of intent have been signed and sealed, one indisputable fact emerges: every single school had its best recruiting class of all time. Let's look at the not-at-all hyperbolic statements from around the country....

Seantrel Henderson Won Signing Day
It's good to be a five-star recruit. The Minnesota product was flown to New York by the CBS College Sports Network to announce his choice. But that pales in comparison to the treatment his suitors gave him....

Demar Dorsey A Perfect Fit For UM
RichRod yesterday: "There's nobody on this football team that we've signed that has a felony conviction. There's nobody on this football team we signed that has a misdemeanor conviction." Today: Dorsey burglarized two homes in one day in 2007. [Freep]...

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...

Meyer-To-Cowboys Rumor Too Absurd Not To Print
Some unnamed SEC coaches have been warning recruits that Urban Meyer will be ditching UF for the Dallas Cowboys. Because nothing's better for someone with heart and stress problems than the botoxed face of death staring you down. [Orlando Sentinel]...

Even USC's Student-Athlete-Hangers-On Getting In Trouble
Kevin O'Neill fired the student manager who drew a technical during USC's loss on Saturday after yelling at officials. Say what you will about Tim Floyd, but at least he would have spent money on his student "volunteers." [LA Times]...

Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...

And On The Fourth Day, Bryce Harper Homered
Here's the Chosen One, taking some weak Arizona Western stuff deep in his fourth game as a collegian. Watch closely and you might see the ball transmute into pure light somewhere over Lake Mead. [YouTube, Las Vegas Review-Journal]...

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

And On Saturday, The First Fan Became Joe Six-Pack
What an action-packed and important day it's been for Barack Obama. He sat courtside at Duke-Georgetown (oh shush, all of you), told Clark Kellogg he was gunning for his job and his administration wants to finally pass reform that matters....

The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...

It's Great To Have You With Us: Your College Hoops Open Thread
Mike Patrick's so excited, and he just can't hide it. Join him and yourselves for some basketball! Duke-Georgetown's at 1; six freshmen, including young sensation John Wall, will play in Vanderbilt-Kentucky at 4; Kansas battles Kansas State at 7. [ESPN]...

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....

Last Night's Winner: Devan Downey
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like South Carolina's Devan Downey, who out-Walled John Wall and continued to make it dangerous to be the No. 1-ranked team. Cocks....

Let's Not Form An Angry Mob Just Yet
Eugene police would like you to know that Jeremiah Masoli and Garrett Embry are not considered suspects at this time. So put away the torches for now. [KMTR]...

Oregon "Hoodrats" Accused Of Stealing From Frat Members
There's trouble a-brewin' in Eugene as two Oregon football players have been accused of stealing computers from a fraternity. It's a classic campus sports crime story with a neat little dash of racial strife....

The Ballad Of Peanut Butter Kid: A Firsthand Account
Some fans cover themselves in body paint. Others just spill food on themselves over the course of the game. Then there's UGA's Peanut Butter Kid, who made yesterday's upset over Tennessee just about as unpleasant as possible for everyone involved....

This Is A Thing That Happened: Digger Phelps Dancing With A Clemson Cheerleader, And Not Badly
H/T reader Joseph A. [YouTube]...