college Page 403 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
USC Beats UCLA, But Schools Tie For First In Jackassery
"Beat SC Week" (or "Troy Week," depending on your affiliation) started off with a bang, but the game would have ended with a whimper — had Rick Neuheisel and Pete Carroll not acted like petulant brats, nearly precipitating a brawl....
So Easy, A Canadian Could Do It
Hey, look at that! Canada's universities held a real, honest-to-god college football playoff (43 years running), and the world didn't end. And nobody's bemoaning the lack of a San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. [Photo: Tyler Ball/The Queen's Journal]...
Your Early Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
Hopefully, the Clemson-South Carolina game doesn't take an ugly turn like it did in 2004 when a brawl broke out in the 4th quarter during Lou Holtz's last game as head coach of the Gamecocks. Or do we? Nah....
BCS Is The Perfect System, Says BCS Website
Listen up, dummy. You probably think the BCS is a terrible way to determine a football champion, but that's because you're a moron. Your stupid playoff ideas are stupid and I know this because I read it on the INTERNET!...
In Amazing Coincidence, Two Michigan State Players Kicked Off Team
Junior Roderick Jenrette and sophomore Glenn Winston were dismissed from Michigan State's football team two days after unidentified football players were accused of beating up frat boys in a residence hall. Gee, you think it might be the same guys?...
Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...
PETA And Skynet Team Up To Take On U Of Georgia
Because nothing even remotely animal-related can happen without PETA getting involved, the animal rights organization is recommending that the recently deceased Uga VII be replaced with an animatronic bulldog. And this is how the robot war begins......
Spartans Get Early Jump On Off-Season Distractions
Several Michigan State football players may have participated in a ski-mask wearing, face-punching group attack on a campus residence hall. I only have one question: Does this count against involuntary practice limits? [The State News]...
Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....
Yale Football Coach Out-Crazies Bill Belichick
Since our nation wasted approximately 82 million man-hours of productivity last week arguing about that stupid fourth-and-two, it's a bit surprising that we the people aren't more enraged by Yale's Tom Williams for raising the stakes for bonehead coaches everywhere....
Ole Miss KKK Protest Goes Swimmingly
"Swimmingly" means "completely embarrassing for white power morons," correct? Then yes, it went "swimmingly." The KKK's hour-long protest against tolerance and common sense lasted about 10 minutes before the hooded wonders were booed off Mississippi's campus....
The BCS Has Its Day In Court Of Public Opinion
The BCS hired a new PR firm, and their first move was to create an official BCS Twitter. This is one case where interacting with the fans is a bad idea, and they are being torn apart. It's gruesome. [@insidethebcs]...
Is Les Miles Lying Or Just Stupid?
"I don't know who called for the spike" is the new "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."...
Early Game Open Thread: This Rivalry Has Gotten Cuddly
Today Michigan and OSU do their annual dance of the overcrowded football stadiums with yawning interest outside of I-75. Blame Rich-Rod. The Duke Benterns battle the Artist Formerly Known As Katrinas Of Miami. Isiah v. Tebow. [LMK]...
Blame Drew: ASU Baseball Coach Pat Murphy Resigns
Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun Devils]...
Colorado May Consider Bake Sale In Order To Buy Out Coach
Colorado's football team stinks and no one really cares for head coach Dan Hawkins, but the usual solution—throwing money at the problem—just isn't going to work this time. They don't have any money left to throw....
Your Daily Mark Mangino Harassment Update
Former Kansas football players are coming out of the woodwork now to tell the us all how awfully "inappropriate" Mark Mangino is when he yells at his players. It's clear that when it comes to emotional devastation, he's the king....
Oregon-Based Rappers Request Permission To Show You Their "O"
Not many hardcore rap songs begin with the phrase "holy moly" and then rhyme "Lego" and "Eggos," but then not that many people write raps songs about ducks. Spit that fire, gentlemen.......
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Study: College Basketball Refs Suck, Too
A couple of professors watched a bunch of college basketball games and came to the very reasonable conclusion, in a peer-reviewed academic journal, that they were all being reffed by Dick Bavetta....