college Page 409 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...

USF Kicker Nominates Self For Darwin Award With Theme Park Mishap
It's the kicker-gets-injured story that has everything: a second-rate Florida football school, a second-rate Florida theme park, and a totally preventable injury that's not too serious to make fun of him....

Report: Notre Dame Will Play Army At Yankee Stadium In History's Most Insufferable Football Game
Pat Forde's reporting that the Fighting Irish will take on the Black Knights in 2010 at Versailles-on-the-Harlem, reviving a longstanding New York tradition of Irish people fighting the Army that dates all the way back to the Draft Riots. [ESPN]...

College Athletes Without Insurance Should Try Not To Get Hurt
Being an NCAA athlete is awesome and everything, but if you twist your ankle—or something much worse—there's a good chance your school's health insurance won't cover you. Now put some tape on that and get back in there!...

Rick Pitino Didn't Do That Thing Karen Sypher Said He Did, Probably
Louisville police will not prosecute Rick Pitino for whatever it is Karen Sypher allegedly tried to blackmail him with. So I guess we'll never get a steamy "Law & Order"-style courtroom drama starring the saucy Cardinals coach....

His Name Is Also What the Police Did
Kansas Jayhawks basketball player Chase Buford — son of San Antonio Spurs general manager R.C. Buford — was arrested on suspicion of driving while hammered. [KMBC]...

Have You Heard Of This Tebow Kid?
I know summers are slow for football columnists, but if Ivan Maisel is already dipping into the "Tebow as Glorious Leader" well in early July—apparently, he's a bit religious!—it's going to be a very long September. [ESPN]...

How Can You Miss Chuck Long If He Won't Go Away?
Who has the best job in football? Chuck Long, who is getting paid $715,000 a year to not coach San Diego State, or the consultant getting $125 an hour to figure out how to get rid of him?...

Western Carolina Football Player Dies During Workout
Ja'Quayvin Smalls, a junior defensive back for Western Carolina, collapsed during a voluntary offseason workout yesterday and later died a local hospital. No cause of death has been determined so far....

The Laws Of Patriotism Will Require You To Root For Coach K In 2012
So, we learned yesterday, Mike Krzyzewski is expected to supplement his day job with a Team USA summer gig for the next three years. "All leads point to Coach K coming back," Jerry Colangelo said. And isn't that joyous!...

Houston Nutt Is Officially A Reality TV Star
Coming soon to a TV probably not near you: "Gridiron U," a "made for television authentic show" about Houston Nutt's Mississippi team, which isn't, as far as I know, Gridiron U. This was supposed to be reality, right? [PR Newswire]...

Henry Family Reminds Everyone Who's The Boss
Carl Henry was not happy about that article that seemed to suggest he was a arrogant basketball father on a power trip, so he responded in the only way that made sense—by pulling an arrogant power trip....

Coach K Defies The Reckless Rumormongering
Despite the claims of a Racine Journal Times reporter's well-placed source, Mike Krzyzewski said he won't be Phil Jackson's "heir apparent." But if Kobe wants to come be Duke's third scholarship guard — well, that might be acceptable. [ACC Now]...

Henry Boys Not Making A Lot Of Friends At Kansas
This story about hoop brothers Xavier and C.J. Henry—and their mastermind father, Carl—is pretty much everything you need to understand about the modern world of college basketball. Try not to let that fact stop you from reading it....

13-Year-Old Commits To Lane Kiffin, Kind Of
The 13-year-old boy has enough to worry about. Committing to a college is not usually one of those preoccupations, unless you're really, really good — or the brother of an All-American who plays for Lane Kiffin. Or both!...

EA Sports Just Taunting Erin Andrews Fans Now
EA's "NCAA Football" game has a new single-player mode called ... wait for it ... "Road To Glory with Erin Andrews." (P.S. You will not be traveling down that road.) [TheRookies]...

Longhorn Linebacker Blitzes Woman's Bedroom With His Car
All-Big 12 linebacker Sergio Kindle drove his car into an apartment building last week, and lacking any other options, left the car behind, ran home and went to bed....

Kudos To The NBA Draft Seating Arrangement Planner
"Rick Pitino eventually sat in his seat while John Calipari... avoided his, which meant no awkward photos, and no opportunity for Kentucky fans to create Photoshops of him putting his feet in Pitino's hair." [SI]...

LSU Is Your National Oyster Diving Champions
I believe that's what this sign refers to. No one is really sure what those SEC schools are up to when football isn't in season. [Daily Reveille]...

This Awful Woman Jinxed Them
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...