college Page 439 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Failed Shoplifting Tales From Not-So-Smart Athletes
A 20-year-old Binghamton University basketball player has been booted off the team after being charged with shoplifting from an incident on October 26. 20-year-old Malik Alvin was confronted by Wal-Mart security after he attempted to abscond with 36 condoms shoved down his pants. Alvin (Al-viiiin!) ...
Obama Received No Mandate In Death Valley
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject : Morning crap Lest we think that LSU fans were totally focused on hating Nick Saban and Alabama this past Saturday, please remember that The Pelican State is also very red. Can a lone fan cry ou...
College Basketball Returns—Now With Lower Field Goal Percentages!
Everyone's favorite team will open the college basketball season tonight, and by "tonight" I mean 4:00 p.m. this afternoon and by "favorite team" I mean "Georgia Southern," who will tip off against Houston in the first round of the Coaches vs. Cancer tournament that formally begins the NCAA year. To...
College Football Roundup: The Hailey and Hanna Nutt Edition
In honor of BCS clarity arriving (thanks to Iowa we now know that the Big 12 will play the SEC for all the gold in Zimbabwe—that isn't already smuggled to Zurich), we bring you two striking young lasses who recently transferred from Arkansas to rejoin their daddy at Ole Miss. Meet Hailey and Hanna ...
Alabama-LSU: A Friendly Game Of Murder
What a game, huh!? The No. 1 team in the country was taken to overtime on Saturday, the atmosphere was electric, clothes were burned and everyone had a good old SEC time! Well, except for a couple of LSU fans who maybe got a little too carried away by the emotions of the day and ended up the victims...
Offer LSU Kids Free Beer And They'll Burn Anything
On Saturday we posted about LSU fans burning Nick Saban in effigy, which seemed rather hateful and extreme, even for them. Turns out, though, that it was all a promotion for a Baton Rouge condominium company, which provided free food and beer for the students to show up. Corporate schmucks promote h...
Have You Burned Your Former Head Coach In Effigy Lately?
We didn't get to this yesterday, but anything involves college students and fire is usually good copy for the next day. Some of the LSU peeps got together for what looked like a bonfire with a set of clothes as a centerpiece. But it was actually a burning in effigy of former LSU head coach Nick Saba...
Texas Tech Sticks Up Cowboys, BCS Picture Looks Surprisingly Stable
No. 2 Texas Tech 56, No. 8 Oklahoma State 20. Could Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree actually split the Heisman? Harrell completed 40 passes for 456 yards and 6 TDs. Ten Red Raiders caught at least one pass, including Crabtree, who caught 8 passes for 89 yards and three TDs. The win should cemen...
Saturday Night Live Blog: #9 Oklahoma State at #2 Texas Tech
The Big XII has thirteen teams in the Top 10, and this is just another night in which two of them square off on a Saturday night. The undefeated Red Raiders get their second straight prime-time big game against the once-defeated Cowboys. Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit brand cows with their init...
All-Purpose Pitching Machine Also Teaches Kids Not to Lie
We had this one really hard teacher in junior high. You know the type of teacher that thinks they're preparing you for the harsh realities of adulthood through tough love, including random screaming and no late papers and picking books about four grades higher than your class' skill set and wonderin...
The College Football Playoff You've Been Pining For? It's Happening Right Under Your Nose
For those of you that clamor for a nice, tidy bracket of four, eight, or 16 teams in the last week of November, pay attention. That method of eliminating teams from consideration of BCS Championship goodness has been transpiring over the past few weeks. Ohio State is veritably eliminated after their...
How Much Do LSU Fans Hate Nick Saban? The Coonass Bowl Is Upon Us
Wright Thompson of ESPN hung out with some LSU fans two weeks ago for the Georgia-LSU game. Not surprisingly LSU fans were focused less on Georgia and more on their hate for Nick Saban. The result is a rollicking story of what happens when you get dumped for a hated rival and then your former coach...
Ryan Leaf Has Gone and Ryan Leaf'd Himself Yet Again
And...scene. Former inept NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf seemed poised for success while coaching at DII West Texas A & M , but thanks to a recent pill-popping scandal, that career path might also be over for good. At first, Leaf was given a leave of absence by the university for him to work on his "pers...
Gator Chomp: Drunken Florida Chick Gets Bitey, Is Thrown In Hoosegow
Meet Veronica Hairston, frequent motel guest and passionate Florida Gators fan. Yep, that's a temporary Gators tattoo on her cheek there. On Saturday Hairston and her husband were enjoying the Florida-Georgia game at a Neptune Beach Day's Inn when things got out of hand. As Florida began putting the...
College Football Preview: John Parker Wilson's Cell Phone Belongs to the Cajuns
Alabama's John Parker Wilson is the latest SEC player attempting to overcome the LSU fans snagging his cell phone number and listing it everywhere on the internets. Confounding Cajuns. You'll recall that earlier this season Knowshon Moreno and A.J. Green were the victims. They joined Tim Tebow from...
Buck Burnette Just Can't Stop Apologizing for Absent-Minded Facebook Racism
After Texas backup center Buck Burnette was kicked off the team for his idiotic Facebook status comment, he issued a sincere apology that, at the very least, proved he knew what he did was wrong. The online contrition tour continues for Burnette, and now he's fired off another apology via Longhorn f...
Lute Olson Soap Opera Gets A Little More Creepy
It's safe to say that the last couple years of Lute Olson's life have been difficult. Health problems and a nasty public divorce led him to miss most of last season on the bench at Arizona and walk out on his team just before this one began. But it seems that the split from his wife, Christine, is e...
Steve Spurrier Inspires Great Art
This one I call, Man Being Aggressively Clawed By Chicken. But it's not that at all. It is of course South Carolina coach and football god Steve Spurrier, who just happens to inspire the artist in all of us. In this portrait he is watched over by the SC Gamecock, just as St. Michael the archangel wa...
Texas Lineman Gets Kicked Off Team for Racist Facebook Message to Barack Obama
The big galoot pictured here is Buck Burnette, back up center for the University of Texas Longhorns. Check that — former back up center. You see, good ol' boy Buck here thought it would be funny to update his Facebook profile status with this message soon after Barack Obama's election: ...
Thursday Night Preview: Maryland at Virginia Tech and #12 TCU at #8 Utah
Remember how I said that Versus stole a march on ESPN back when TCU played BYU and Florida State was playing N.C. State on Thursday October 16? Yeah, it's happened again. Only this time the game is on CBS College Sports. Which, if you're like me, you don't get on your television package because Com...