college Page 529 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Will The Boss Rock Touchdown Jesus?
We keep hearing about all these rumors, so since we are who we are, we might as well publish them. Whispers abound all around South Bend that tomorrow's pep rally for the Notre Dame game against the undefeated USC Trojans — recently moved from the Joyce Center to Notre Dame Stadium — will feature ...
BCS Finally Acknowledges That Earth Is Round
We love it when it takes almost a decade for a bunch of men in plaid suits to figure out something that our four-year-old cousin has known since birth....
Confirming Once Again: Penises Are Funny
From the front page of Friday's Purdue Exponent, this photo shows Purdue fans getting "rowdy" as they bat around a huge inflatable penis during their loss to Notre Dame a week and a half ago. Or, as the caption to the paper's photo puts it, an "oversized phallic object."...
College Football's Hidden Shenanigans
One of the best things about the Web is that it can strip away one moment from a larger event — or coverage of said event — that would have been lost otherwise and highlight it, for better or worse. Two of the best examples of this are videos from the last weekend of college football, currently ci...
SI And Mike Price Bury The Bodies Together
Sports Illustrated announced this morning that it and former Alabama coach Mike Price have "amiably resolved" the lawsuit Price filed against the magazine for a story it ran in 2003....
Oh, The Fun They'll Have
According to Sports By Brooks and KMPC Radio in Los Angeles, now that college football expert Nick Lachey and non-sports-related wife Jessica Simpson have reportedly split up (or maybe not), Lachey might actually be moving in with Southern Cal quarterback Matt Leinart. (We're going to assume he do...
Who Is The Dumbest Team In Football?
It's a general consensus, we think, that football players are considered dumb. Even if they were smart at birth, once their brains were subjected to repeated jostling for two decades, all the good genes probably ended up dripping out. Well, the Wall Street Journal today looks at how each NFL team ...
Rammer Jammer Motley Hammer
We're not sure what much more we can add to this picture except to say we're curious if this makes Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author Warren St. John exuberant, horrified or both....
Alberts Prays To Wrong God For Help
Earlier this month, ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was fired by his network for refusing to show up because of an airtime dispute. In his first public comments since the firing, Alberts says that ESPN has pretty much crushed his ability to be on TV again....
Suge Knight Gets His Bear Bryant On
A recent study from Merrill Lynch Investment Management took a look at how Americans are taking a new look at retirement. Essentially, they don't think retirement for today's baby boomers means empty decades of shuffleboard, cruise ships and tapioca; they see it as an opportunity, a way to reinven...
Page 2's Collective Award Winners
We would like to congratulate ESPN's Page 2 on its Online Journalism Awards nomination for the Best Online Commentary (Large), which, at first glance, appears to be for the most outstanding columnist who uses very big letters on a computer. The site's fellow nominees, impressively, are not whole s...
Harris Interactive Poll Already On Its Death Bed
The Chicago Sun-Times noticed something that we found rather peculiar in college football's new "Harris Poll," designed to replace the Associated Press poll in the so-hated-by-everyone-you-almost-want-it-to-survive BCS standings: The 2-2 Illinois Fighting Illini, a team that lost 61-14 and gave up...
Fighting The Real Enemy: Fuchsia
From the Professors With Way Too Much Time On Their Hands Department: A professor at the University of Iowa has been receiving Internet threats after she claimed that the Iowa football team's propensity to color the locker room pink was sexist and homophobic. First off, we'd like to tell everyone ...
Bob Knight's Kid Keeps Falling Upward
According to the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal — which has to be the strangest name for a newspaper we've ever seen — Texas Tech assistant basketball coach Pat Knight will succeed his father (his dad goes by "Bob") as the Red Raiders' head coach. We are wary of calling this eventual promotion "nepotis...
24 College Avenue "Mystery" Solved
Yesterday, we openly speculated who the heck that band "Autologic" that plays on Page 2's endless "serialized novel" 24 College Avenue. Another reason we love you, readers: You came through....
ESPN Can't Name That Band
We accidentally clicked on the newest installment of "24 College Avenue — the "serialized novel" by Page 2er Jim Caple that inspired by his weird tour of colleges last year — and we realized, fast, that we had forgotten to turn the sound down on our computer. Out of nowhere came this awful noise, ...
Showing Love For Texas Tech (And Yourself)
Great, great link from The Mighty MJD this morning: At Texas Tech, whenever the Red Raiders do something great during a football game, a certain student fan is supposed to ring a bell on the sideline like a madman. We're not sure why ringing a bell gets fans excited, but we don't understand lots o...
There Are Fake People On Page 2, And They're In College
Uh, we're just going to go under the assumption that Jim Caple's "serialized novel" 24 College Avenue is the setup to a joke, and the "three times a week throughout the school year" is the punchline. You know, the kind of inappropriate joke that a boorish friend tells too loudly at a dinner party...
From the Carrier Dome to Bracco's Bed
Here's a great heads-up from a tipster: Former Syracuse guard Jason Cipolla — who hit a huge shot against Georgia in the second round of the 1996 NCAA tournament; the Orangemen eventually made the national championship game — has been dating "Sopranos" head shrinker Lorraine Bracco for about three...
College Sports Coaches: Evil!
On the list of Things That Will Get You Sent To Hell, we have to say, this one has to be pretty high up there. From the Newark Star-Ledger:...