collegefootball Page 271 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chip And Dale Don't Like Your Looks And Would Prefer That You Leave
Once the vibrant and thriving center of the city, Downtown Disney has fallen on hard times. Crime is rampant, property values have plummeted and the area is ripe with decay. Witness Minnie Mouse, turning tricks at the seedy Disney Inn. Goofy has been arrested 17 times for aggressive panhandling. And...

The Exact Human Opposite Of Jim Nantz
Ron Jaworski? Please. This is your new MNF foil for Kornheiser....

Dicky Lyons Is One Dope Dude
Dicky Lyons is a wide receiver for the Kentucky Wildcats, and despite his seemingly less-than-chiseled-athlete physique, he's one of their better players. And he also seems like as amiable a doofus as you could possibly meet....

Malcolm In The Middle Front Row
The Los Angeles Times has a nifty collection of celebrity photos taken at sporting events on their site today, which got us to thinking: Which LA team had the best celebrity sightings in the fall/winter seasons? One might automatically say the Lakers win this, but not so fast. Let's do a quick tally...

R.I.P., Terry Hoeppner
Indiana football coach Terry Hoeppner, who had been recovering from surgery for a brain tumor, died this morning at a Bloomington area hospital. The Hoosiers had announced just last week that Hoeppner would not be able to coach this year; assistant Bill Lynch will coach in his place. Hoeppner was 59...

What, Like House Of Pain Was Gonna Do Anything?
Seems like there are a lot of scuffles outside of nightclubs these days. And more and more, it seems like these scuffles are accompanied by someone pulling out a gun and shooting it into the air ... because nothing defuses a situation better than spontaneous gunfire....

The Entry Ramps To The Stadium Will Be Full Of Sleeping People
It is important that, in life, one have humanitarian instincts. But it is far more important that one has a place to show and pick up stimulants at 3:30 in the morning. Yep: There's a bowl game named after a truck stop. It's the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. ...

They Grow Up So Fast These Days
Meet Malcolm Sheppard, defensive tackle for the Arkansas Razorbacks. According to Loser with Socks, that's Malcolm one year ago, and Malcolm today....

That's One Way To Sell A Condo
We don't know Alabama well enough to understand the real estate market, but it's little surprise that one of the main selling points in Tuscaloosa is proximity to Bryant-Denny Stadium, home of the Crimson Tide. And it turns out that a condominium company is using a peculiar strategy to sell their ho...

JoePa Will Put Your Ass To Work
We love Joe Paterno. Whereas many coaches would discipline their players for a campus fight by suspending them or — more likely — not doing anything at all, the Penn State legend is forcing them to clean the inside of the stadium....

Someone In Oklahoma Is Sad
The great folks at Post Secret — via Burnt Orange Nation — have dug up this little mailing, which features a sad, scorned lover of an Oklahoma football player lamenting the need for their union to remain a secret. Oklahoma last won a national championship in 2000, which theoretically narrows it down...

John Denver Would Be So Proud
I post this as a favor to the students and fans of the University of Montana football team. If any of you were out there thinking, "Oh, that's so embarrassing," please allow West Fuckin' Virginia to steal a little bit of your thunder....

Putting The 'Montana' Back In Tony Montana
When a college football team and a drug cartel are linked, quick, what school might you suspect it would be? Correct, it is the U of M, but it's not that one....

Ah, The Sweet Relief Of Augusta
You can't quite tell from this far a way, but a reader who recently caddied for him at Augusta National lets us know that the gentleman urinating into the woods in this picture is none other than South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. Here's the before photo:...

Sometimes, Arkansas Fans Are Crazy In A Good Way
OK, so maybe all Arkansas Razorbacks fans are crazy people, but sometimes, that fan mania can present itself in more productive, uplifting ways. Or at least less, you know, tracking a coach's cell phone calls....

He's Afraid The Defensive Line Will Be Quite Operational When Your Friends Arrive
A friend who's a big Star Wars dork — you're shocked that we have such friends, we're sure — forwards us this creative concoction put together by an inventive (and, certainly, lonely) Star Wars aficionado and college football watcher....

I Guess You Can't Be A Successful Quarterback Until You've Been With A Man
If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes....

The Seventh Floor Crew Takes Over The NFL
At the end of the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday, the defending NFC champion Chicago Bears drafted tight end Greg Olsen. If you don't recognize Olsen's name, you can hark back to the halcyon days of November 2005, when Olsen dropped some beats as a member of the Seventh Floor Crew. (He's n...

He Doesn't Give A Damn, Sing Whatever You Want
This somewhat old — from October — video, via Every Day Should Be Saturday, features two, um, casual Oklahoma State fans just kind of chilling, not giving a damn....

Seriously, Arkansas Fans Are Insane
We're not sure the true historic nature of what's going on at the University of Arkansas is being adequately appreciated. Basically, a bunch of ticked-off message board fans are doing everything they can to take down the athletic department of their university ... and they're doing a damned good job...