collegefootball Page 283 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That, Friends, Is A Lot Of Funk
In a world of uncertainty, the dancing fat man is a distinct pleasure worth cherishing. Do not underestimate the dancing fat Clemson fan: He's, in fact, quite nimble. You might think it cheap and/or easy, but we value the fundamental certainty of gyrating flab, and we think you probably should too....
Once Again, Bobby Knight Helps Us Keep Things In Perspective
Among delighted viewers of Saturday's college football win by Oregon over Oklahoma was one Robert Montgomery Knight, and frankly we're surprised it took him this long to say something about it. In Jan. 2003, the host Sooners beat Knight's Texas Tech, 69-64 in overtime, after two clock controversies ...
"Shh ... Don't Tell Him ... Let's Just Watch Him Go"
This, friends, is UNLV coach Mike Sanford. Two weeks ago, his Rebels lost to Iowa State 16-10, on a close call late. UNLV's wide receiver was ruled out of bounds, and Iowa State left the field with the win....
"Hey, Like, Old Guy ... It's Your Turn"
This is an actual photo, taken last weekend, from the Iowa-Iowa State pregame last Saturday....
Hey, Can I Get A Do-Over?
Attention Jeff George: If your son's Pee Wee football league needs referees this weekend, we know some guys who are available. After a wildly entertaining, somewhat comical ending that kind of reminded us of the final scenes in Caddyshack, the Pac-10 wound up suspending the officiating crew that muc...
In Case It Slipped Your Mind, Ohio State Still Hates Michigan
For the record, we're pretty sure that the Pat Forde-recommended Dead Schembechlers hate the University of Michigan more than any punk band ever hated anything, and that's saying something. So if you also hate the Wolverines, you won't want to miss the Hate Michigan Rally on Nov. 17 in Columbus, hea...
It's 3 1/2 In The Pokey For Clarett
Word just came in about an hour ago: Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett has pled guilty to two felonies and will spend at least the next 3 1/2 years in prison. Jury selection was about to begin in the case, but lawyers accepted the plea of 7 1/2 years, with the first parole opportunity p...
That's Not A Fun Way To Lose
Saturday was an outstanding day for college football — particularly if you went to Syracuse, grumble grumble — but it was not so pleasant for Oklahoma fans, who, as this video rather clearly shows, were screwed out of a big road victory against Oregon. It's funny, because one wouldn't think it would...
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: Irish Schadenfreude
• (11) Michigan 47, (2) Notre Dame 21. I don't think there's anything that the college football watching public enjoys more than seeing Notre Dame get beaten - nay, romped - in a big game. I didn't get to publish even a small fraction of the overjoyed comments that came as a result of Michigan's 4...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
Louisville just went up 24-7 on Miami, Michigan looks to be pretty firmly in control of things, and I'm just going to leave you to enjoy those things... if you're the type that likes to see big-name programs get humiliated. Enjoy the big games tonight, too....
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• That Brady Quinn is so good-looking that I'll bet even Pam Ward thinks he's hot. - drocksportsguy...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
• Not actually watching any college football at the moment, as I just woke up, but the Pam Ward's short WikiPedia page entry reads "Pam Ward is probably a lesbian." - DriveInHard...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• "There was a sign during Gameday this morning - "Charlie Weis: The Devil Lovechild of Jabba the Hut @ Rosie O'Donnell." - Lingering Bursitis...
Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....
Taking One ... "Yeoooowwww, Kelly Clarkson!" ... For the Team
What with the price of gas and all, there apparently isn't a lot to do over at the Basney Honda in South Bend, Ind. So co-workers told Jason Gordon that they would chip in and get him two tickets to the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and all Gordon had to do to earn them was get a full body wax. Irish fa...
If They Take Away Reggie Bush's Heisman, Did It Really Happen?
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they'...
No Better Reason To Get In A Bar Fight Than This One
This pasty fellow, described by Every Day Should Be Saturday as "so aggressively white that bleach is afraid of him," is South Carolina quarterback Blake Mitchell, who was arrested after a bar fight early Wednesday morning....
It's Like Tonya Harding, But Less Manly
It must be frustrating to be a backup punter. Most football players don't even consider the starting punter a real part of the team; the backup punter might as well be the waterboy. It must cause all kinds of anger and frustration, but you're a punter, so you can't express it. Lots of repressed rage...
Failure To Launch
In these troubled times in which we live, we believe that it's good to feed the soul occasionally with some inspiring words from a true American. Such a man is Texas Longhorns fan and sometimes actor Matthew McConaughey. Let us never forget his fiery speech from last week, leading up to the Texas-Oh...
When Male Cheerleaders Attack
We'd like to congratulate THE Ohio State University for their convincing victory over Texas on Saturday night. We are also pleased that the Buckeyes waited until 2006 to beat the Longhorns, rather than 2005; last year's game was in Columbus, this one was in Austin and that meant all fires and riot...