colon Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Hard Work Is Rewarded
Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran pitcher and repository of ultimate philosophical truths, battled once more against entropy and meaninglessness on Saturday. Also against the Baltimore Orioles. A hit batsman and an error behind him put Colon on the ropes in the first inning, but he struck out Mark...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Wonders Are Still Unceasing
Yesterday, the New York Yankees' veteran salvage-heap starter — and barometer of existential significance — took the mound against the Oakland Athletics. How did he (and by extension, all humankind) fare? 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 4 K. Joy reigns once more, till the next time....
What Does Bartolo Colon Mean Today?
Life is a small sample. So what are the metaphysical implications of the most recent game pitched by the Yankees' 38-year-old fourth starter? After July 14 (0.2 IP, 8 H, 6 R, 0 K), "Defeat had simply taken wonder's place." Last night? 6.1 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 9 K. Wonder is back!...
<em>The New York Times</em> Provides The First Drug Smear Of The Baseball Season
"For the last few years," The New York Times writes in the Bartolo Colon story that we flagged earlier today, "baseball and other sports, while fighting to limit the use of performance-enhancing drugs, have been faced with a new and murky challenge: players getting sophisticated blood treatments, of...
How Bartolo Colon's Fat Ass Resurrected His Career
A Dominican medical team designed a rejuvenation treatment, in which they'd inject stem cells into the pitching arm, for Pedro Martinez. He turned them down. Bartolo Colon didn't....
We Heard From The Robot, And It Wrote A Better Story About That Perfect Game
This morning we covered Will Roberts, the University of Virginia player who threw a perfect game yesterday. More specifically, the game story at GWSports.com, which only bothered to mention the little fact of 27-up-27-down in the penultimate paragraph....
College Pitcher Throws Perfect Game, Gets Mentioned In Seventh Paragraph Of Eight-Paragraph Game Story
Will Roberts of UVA threw a perfect game yesterday, only the 19th in D1 history and the first since 2002. But you wouldn't know it if you read the recap from George Washington University, which came out on the losing end of the feat....
Here's Video Of That Quiet Little Accounting Professor Getting Ejected
Via DC Sports Bog, we finally have video of George Washington accounting professor Robert Kasmir getting disorderly and getting tossed from a game in which he was honored at halftime. If you have any accounting jokes left over from yesterday, now's the time....
Quiet Little Accounting Professor Gets Honored At Halftime, Ejected From Game
Maybe not so quiet. After being honored on the court at halftime of George Washington's senior day game Saturday, GW professor Robert Kasmir went from feted donor to boisterous troublemaker, getting kicked out of the game for verbally abusing the refs....
Zamboni Fumes Sicken 28 College Hockey Players
On Thursday night, Curry College faced off against Johnson & Wales University at the Rhode Island Sports Center. When the victorious Curry Colonels got back to campus after the game, some players didn't feel all that well. Turns out 28 of them needed hospital treatment for toxic nitrous-dioxide exp...
The Ugly, Racially Charged Fight Over A Confederate Mascot. In Vermont.
My small Vermont hometown has made the national news circuit on just a handful of occasions since I was a kid: the Bush-Cheney arrest warrant, the public nudity ban, the closing of the nuclear power plant, the annual cow parade, and the time my high school retired Colonel Reb as our mascot....
Why Did Ole Miss Pick A Louisiana Black Bear As Their New Mascot?
Colonel Reb: definitely outdated, possibly a little offensive. So he's gone. Introducing the new mascot for Ole Miss: a generic bear in a sun hat, associated with another state entirely....
I'm Still Not Sure How One Suffers A Perforated Colon On A Kickoff Return
Arkansas' Dennis Johnson did on this play. From the looks of the replay, he doesn't appear to have had a helmet rammed up his ass. [SportsGrid]...
Willie Colon Had Enough Of Big Ben's "Sausage Party"
Colon said he felt women talking to him to get to Roethlisberger was "gay," and the male-to-female ratio at one club's VIP section was "a sausage party." Well, at least one of them managed to get some that night. [TSG]...
Wildcats Scratch At Colonials: Robert Morris-Villanova Open Thread (UPDATE With Video)
Villanova tries to return to the Final Four and you try to figure out where Robert Morris is. Comment, comment, comment....
Trademarking Sports: Who Owns What You Watch
With the uproar over the rights to Who Dat, it's instructive to take a look at a brief history of sports trademarks (with the help of the US Patent Office) and learn that the right person rarely ever gets rich....
Nicholls State Mascot Will Smash Capitalism, Slash You In The Face
Greetings, Comrades! Nicholls State was named in honor of a former Confederate officer, but since the Civil War is (mostly) over, the school decided their Southern Gentlemen Warrior mascot needed an refresh. So now he's a bloodthirsty fascist oppressor....
Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing....
Have You Seen This Fat Guy?
The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to start tonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call....
Why Do The White Sox Need Think They Need Pitching Help Anyway?
Poor Bartolo Colon. 8 runs (only one earned, though!) in two innings of work and then the world caved in. [Yahoo!]...