colorado-avalanche Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


Avs Goalie Semyon Varlamov Arrested On Domestic Violence Charges
Avalanche goalie Semyon Varlamov spent the night in jail after turning himself in to face charges of second-degree kidnapping and third-degree assault in connection with an alleged domestic violence incident on Tuesday....

Gleeful Avs Announcer Basically Says Injured Kronwall Deserved It
The Avalanche have been so bad for so long, we almost forgot what brutal homers their broadcasters are. Play-by-play man Mike Haynes was there to remind us last night, taking an uncomfortable amount of joy from an ugly injury to Detroit's Niklas Kronwall....


Patrick Roy Goes Nuts, Breaks Stuff
It took all of one game for newly installed Avalanche coach Patrick Roy to lose his mind and physically destroy arena equipment. We missed you, Patrick. The NHL was just a little too sane without you....

Here's An L.A. Kings Fan Dropping A Child To Catch A Hockey Stick
The Kings beat the Avalanche last night in a shootout. Mike Richards, who had a goal and an assist, was named the game's No. 1 star. Richards showed the home fans at Staples Center some love by tossing his stick into the crowd. Someone was a little too eager to catch it....

Anchor Loses His Shit After Naming His Colleague "Penis" McNab
Kyle Keefe of Altitude TV had a real tough time getting through this segment, after a failed reference to Avalanche broadcaster Peter McNab. Stick with the whole video—there's nothing funnier than a prolonged giggle fit on live television....

Chicago's Kiss Cam Is Almost As Hot As The Blackhawks
Here's a lady and gent thoroughly enjoying their time on the United Center's Kiss Cam during the Blackhawks win over the Colorado Avalanche. And why not? The Blackhawks won again tonight with a last-minute goal from Daniel Carcillo; it was his first of the season. Jonathan Toews also chipped in wit...

Peter Forsberg Completes Two-Game Comeback For The Ages
Peter Forsberg, he of 885 career NHL points and a former winner of the Calder and Hart trophies, began his comeback by suiting up for the Colorado Avalanche on Friday night. It was his first NHL game since 2008, and Swedes were as excited as they could be. Unless Bjorn and Agnetha remarried....

Tuomo Ruutu Suspended Three Games For Dirty Hit On Dirty Player
Carolina Hurricanes forward Tuomo Ruutu has been suspended for three games (and forfeits $59,067.36 in salary) for boarding Colorado Avalance forward Darcy Tucker last night. This will now conclude the NHL broadcasting day here on Deadspin.(hums O Canada) [TSN.ca]...

Tuomo Ruutu Will Drink Your Milkshake!
Then he will take the glass it was served in and bash you in the face with it. There was a scary moment last night during the Colorado Avalanche-Carolina Hurricanes game when Tuomo Ruutu viciously and recklessly boarded Darcy Tucker....

Quiet, Stoic Leader To Have Boring Retirement
Quebec Nordique legend Joe Sakic is calling it a career after 20 seasons in the NHL and not a single embarrassing scandal that we could all have a good laugh over now. What a jerk. [Denver Post]...

Patrick Roy Is Not Interested In Saving Your Lousy Franchise
Patrick Roy finally admits that he was indeed offered the Colorado Avalanche coaching job, but has turned it down for "family reasons." Is the "reason" that his family is filled with insane, violent rageaholics? [Denver Post]...

Avalanche Coach The Next Victim Of A Roy Family Sucker Punch?
Patrick Roy is reportedly "mulling" an offer to be head coach of Colorado, even though current coach Tony Granato has not yet been fired. If that doesn't work, his sons will just rough Granato up in the parking lot. [Denver Post]...

Joe Sakic Out Three Months
And I guess those are Joe Sakic's fingers in the snow blower? [Sports Crackle Pop]...

Previewing The Red Wings-Avalanche
The NHL playoffs continue tonight with the Conference Semifinals. The five degenerates over at Melt Your Face Off will preview each matchup....

Today In Silly Political Wagers
In case you forget, people, gambling is a sin, but that doesn't stop our politicians from insisting on those dopey city "wagers" anytime their teams play in the postseason....

NHL Playoff Preview: The Threes Meet the Sixes
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...

Av Mercy
After their 4-3 overtime victory over the Rangers, the Colorado Avalanche said all the right things about how to replace injured comrades Joe Sakic and Ryan Smyth. "You can't," said Wojtek Wolski. "You don't," replied Scott Hannan. "But... you did," said the scoreboard. I mean, Wolski himself scored...