colton-underwood - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ex-NFLer Colton Underwood Learns The Rules Of The <i>Bachelorette</i> Fantasy Suite Fuck, Gets Sent HomeTeam, it’s been a good run. Well, actually, it’s been a run full of trials and tribulations. Quite frankly, I had higher hopes for us. But part of being a good coach is knowing when to accept defeat and that’s what happened during Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette, in which Colton—former NF...

<i>Bachelorette</i> Contestant And Former NFLer Colton Underwood Eats Conch, Reveals He's A VirginTeam, you may be wondering: What kind of coach is leading us? Why would she go radio silent for weeks on end? Well, I’m a firm believer in being quiet until it’s worth being heard, and this week it was time to whip out the bullhorn. Colton, former NFL player and founder of the Colton Underwood Lega...

The Football Player Flips A Log On <i>The Bachelorette</i>, And The Football Knower Gets EliminatedTeam, there are roster cuts every week, but this round was tough. Our numbers have been depleted during an away game in Park City, Utah. (Lucky for them, the state’s previously stringent liquor laws have abated in recent years; if they hadn’t, it’s hard to imagine our players would have performed a...

Romantic <i>Bachelorette </i>Football Game Ends In An Injury To An Actual NFL Player

Team, Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette was a rough one. Not only did we lose two soldiers to injury, but our game was in danger of being pushed back because of a pesky little thing called the “NBA Finals,” and was still interrupted by a fascist dictator meeting with a wannabe fascist dicta...

The Athletes Hit A Slump This Week On <i>The Bachelorette</i>, But Lil Jon Showed Up

Okay, team. This week was a rambunctious one, full of so many twists and turns that none of us could really follow the playbook. As the season goes on, the chaff will be cut and the roster will really start to gel. But in the meantime, as your stern but loving coach, I’m here to make clear what real...

"I'm Having A Ball Right Now!": How The Sports Men Did On The Premiere Of <i>The Bachelorette</i>

Well, here I am, team. Despite what I told myself about not being able to put my body through another season, what with the countless pep talks and endless late nights and the cold Gatorade showers, I’m back. Team, I don’t know how, I don’t know why (well, to be very frank, I do know why: that $$$ c...