copa-america Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Luis Suárez Threw Himself A Temper Tantrum And I Can't Really Blame Him
Uruguay are in big trouble at the Copa America after dropping their opener to Mexico, 3-1 on Sunday, then falling 1-0 to Venezuela this evening. They only managed to out one shot on frame tonight, and striker Edinson Cavani was awful. He is Uruguay’s best healthy attacker (more on that in a second) ...
MLS Team Not Happy About Brazilian Manager Dissing The League
Washed-up Brazilian legend Kaká was originally left off of his country’s Copa América roster because he is old and past it and plays in MLS, the old-timers’ league. With Brazilian internationals dropping like flies to injury in the lead up to the tournament, manager Dunga eventually did give Kaká a ...
Philippe Coutinho Is Soccer's Ultimate Heat-Check Guy
We’re all familiar with the heat-check guy in basketball. That is a guy, usually a yappy wing player tasked with the sole responsibility of getting buckets from off the bench, who exhibits such outsized confidence in his jumper that, when he gets it going with a few consecutive Js, he’s prone to thr...
James Rodríguez Might Fuck Around And Win The Copa América By Himself
Because this 100 year anniversary version of the Copa América hosted in the U.S. is widely understood as the made-up, money-scrounging ruse that it is, there are only a select few teams that have both the talent and the motivation to go out and win the thing....
Uruguay Players Say Referee Taunted Them By Grabbing His Dick And Balls
The video you see above shows a couple Uruguay players haranguing the referees immediately after their 3-1 loss against Mexico in the Copa America on Sunday. You might imagine that the fervor of the players’ protestations was piqued by the pregame national anthem gaffe, plus the shellacking Mexico j...
See, The USMNT Isn't Terrible After All!
As Clint Dempsey strutted over toward the corner flag after converting a penalty in the 9th minute that gave the Americans the all-important, pressure valve-releasing lead on Costa Rica, he channeled his inner Cristiano Ronaldo and mimicked the Real Madrid forward’s famous “Calma” gesture. “Settle d...
Victor Ayala Smashes In The Goal Of The Copa America
Colombia was comfortably hammering Paraguay into the dirt until Victor Ayala picked this one up and smoked it past David Ospina to cut Paraguay’s deficit to 2-1....
The USMNT Is Getting Hot At Exactly The Right Time
After the USMNT lost 2-0 to Colombia last Friday, Jürgen Klinsmann was as optimistic as any coach will ever be after a scoreless tournament-opening loss. He told reporters he was “absolutely okay” with how his team played, and even said, “There was no difference besides the two goals.” While the exp...
Copa América Fucks Up National Anthem Again
One day after playing the Chilean national anthem instead of Uruguay’s, the Copa América screwed things up again by interrupting Chile’s anthem before the team’s match against Argentina in Santa Clara....
Copa America Plays Wrong Anthem For Uruguay While Confused Players Look On
The Copa América Centenario has been a disaster thus far, with sparse crowds and uninteresting play marking the opening days of the scandal-soaked tournament. Things got even uglier tonight, as Glendale’s stadium played the wrong anthem for Uruguay before their match against Mexico....
Colombia Take 2-0 Lead; At Least We Get The Heavy Metal Goal Call
A handball in the box set James Rodríguez up for a penalty that put Colombia up 2-0 on the U.S., and our only consolation is that we get to listen to El Cantante del Gol, Javier Fernández, call it—as heard in Colombia on Caracol TV....
The USMNT Needs To Go Young Or Die
The United States Men’s National Team will open the Copa America Centenario—a wonderfully entertaining Frankentournament that the U.S. is hosting only through sheer force of corruption—with a match against Colombia tonight in Santa Clara, Calif. Colombia is the shit. They could have taken down Brazi...
Reports: Mexican Striker Alan Pulido Kidnapped
Mexican media sources are reporting Alan Pulido is missing after reportedly being taken by armed kidnappers outside a restaurant in his hometown of Ciudad Victoria, where the Olympiakos striker had returned following the end of the Greek league season....
Argentina Follows Mexico's Lead, Uses Donald Trump To Troll America
We’re beginning to learn that Donald Trump quotes about the impending ruination of America are great fodder for chopping up and serving back to us in the form of troll bait. A Mexican TV station started the trend last year, and now Argentina’s TyC Sports has followed suit....
Shut Up, We Can Do This
Last night was the draw for the Copa America Centenario, this summer’s tournament bringing together the best of North and South America, and as hosts, the U.S. had reason to hope for a favorable draw. It really could not have gone much worse. ...
The Copa América Centenario Is Going To Be Awesome
South America’s continental championship, the Copa América, has never received the prestige it perhaps deserves. Despite being contested among some of world soccer’s great powers, like Brazil, Argentina, and Uruguay, it has never risen to the level of consciousness of the World Cup, the Euros, the O...
Please Don't Kick The King
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Chilean Satire Mag Makes A Funny About Messi Getting Finger Up His Butt
“Get ready, Messi,” Chilean magazine The Clinical writes, riffing on Chile defender Gonzalo Jara’s recent finger-in-the-butthole move, as well as Lionel Messi’s oft-mentioned otherworldly abilities ahead of Saturday’s Chile-Argentina Copa América final. Pretty clever, you guys!...
Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe
Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless ...