crap Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

L.A. Kings Win Stanley Cup; "Mavs Win!" Proclaims NBC Sports
The L.A. Kings are the best team in the NHL, but those poor souls just can't catch a break when it comes to people actually knowing who the hell they are. First there was the case of the mistaken logo, an abysmal highlight package, and then a misidentification of the team's mascot....

Rick Reilly's Auto-Response To Reader Email Is More Clever Than Rick Reilly's Actual Column
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Drew Sharp Responds To A Reader: "Does The Little Baby Need A Pacifier?"
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....
!["Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lxhqrz8d7vjpng.png)
"Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Look, It's The Worst Sports Card Of All Time!
What the shit is this? How did this end up on our desk? Who would make something like this?...

42 "Pussy" Shots For £126! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic £203,948.80 Bar Tab From A Liverpool Nightclub
Where to begin with this epic bar tab (full version at the bottom)? It's so single-minded, so devoid of nuance. I hate it. When Petchesky first directed my attention to this abomination, which was posted a few places yesterday, I thought it could only belong to one man—Don Johnson, the "champagne ki...

Don Johnson, The Champagne King And The Beast Of Blackjack, Has Once Again Punished An Atlantic City Casino
After a few months of suspiciously restrained behavior, blackjack savant Don Johnson has returned. He was spotted in October in Atlantic City stuffing fistfuls of casino chips into his gullet. Just grinding them up between his world-class molars. No, I made that up. He was actually cashing in fistfu...

There Is Finally An Inspirational Children's Book About Danny Woodhead
If every undersized, scrappy professional athlete could have an inspirational children’s book written about him or her, the world would be full of adolescents with overblown expectations about their futures. But since that’s already the case with America’s youth, scraptastic young men like Greg Paul...

One Armand De Brignac Nebuchadnezzar For Only $100,000! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Zac-Efron-And-Heather-Graham-Inspired Chicago Bar Bill
People are making a big deal out of the epic bar tab this week (full version here), but I don't see why. Far as I can tell, it was just another Tuesday night in the Board Room, Chicago's epicenter of cool. Another Tuesday night with the top people in the Midwest. Have you been to the Board Room? It'...

"Champagne King" Don Johnson Is At It Again, This Time With The U.S. Women's Soccer Team
We've mentioned Don Johnson on this site before, first because of his exploits at the blackjack tables in Atlantic City and later because of his exploits in nightclubs, where he buys enormous bottles of expensive champagne and sprays people with his foam. On Monday, party Johnson popped up in Avenue...

One Armand De Brignac Midas Bottle For £120,000! An Unscientific Analysis Of An Enormous Johnson's Epic Bar Tab In London
Atlantic City casino scourge Don Johnson (not to be confused with 80s-era TV scourge Don Johnson) must have seen the damage the Bruins did in the MGM Grand bar in Foxwoods recently. He must have burned with envy. For those of you unaware, Don Johnson has earned the dubious moniker of "The Champagne ...

136 Bud Lights For Only $680! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Boston Bruins' Epic Bar Tab From Foxwoods
The photo of this receipt is hazy (full version here), and that's how it should be. Mere hours after riding through the streets of Boston in Duck Boats, the Bruins took the Stanley Cup to the MGM Grand at Foxwoods and set to drinking. First came the bottle of Bacardi and 18 sugar free Red Bulls. "Su...

55 Grey Goose Cocktails For Only $770! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic Bar Tab From Tryst In Las Vegas
A few caveats: 1.) This booze session took place in Vegas; 2.) It took place at Tryst, which for those of you fortunate enough to never have been intoxicated therein, can inflict permanent damage to the wallet. That said, this is still an impressive receipt, a full version of which you can view here...

25 Jager Bombs For Only $223.75 Canadian Dollars! An Analysis Of The Epic Receipt From "The #1 Sports Bar In North America."
Here's what I like about this receipt, a full version of which you can view here: You can actually track the progressive drunkeness of whatever pack of Canadian hyenas to which it belongs by their orders. Let's see...they sensibly start with food — nachos, sliders, voodoo shrimp, chicken tenders; an...

Fame And The Perils Of Drinking Beer Through A Straw In Public: A New Round Of Kaner Photos, Analyzed
We have some previously unseen photos of Patrick Kane and a couple of fellow Blackhawks celebrating with the Stanley Cup last summer. There is nothing wrong with any of this, except for maybe their choice of beer (Bud Light) and their method of consuming it (straw). In fact, the most significant thi...

Who Wouldn't Want To Remember Last Night's Terrible Game Forever?
No, wait, Brett Favre's streak memorabilia is off the hook. This is the worst piece of opportunistic marketing to come from that Vikings game....

The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....

ESPN.com's Chris Jones Now "The Most Hated Man In Paraguay"
Deadspin favorite Chris Jones, Esquire's man for all seasons and an ESPN.com World Cup correspondent, dared call Paraguayan soccer "boring" the other day, and now people want to "smash [his] brain with a hummer." That's sic....

Photos From The World Poutine-Eating Championship Will Disgust You
Last Saturday, Toronto hosted the first-ever Major League Eating-sanctioned poutine-eating contest, and by the looks of it, it was a gravy-and-curd-soaked madhouse. Torontoist has an account of the festivities and more photos like this one of Pete "Pretty Boy" Davekos. [Torontoist]...

BREAKING: NEW BURGER KING IN MIAMI WILL SERVE BEER
"At the Whopper Bar South Beach, guests can pair a Whopper sandwich with Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors brews. With fries, the combo will run $7.99." This changes everything. [AP, via @jemelehill]...