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Sports Crimes, Ranked
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering hot sauces, Ballghazi, jacking it in the doctor's office, and more....
Former NFL Cheerleader Allegedly Raped 15-Year-Old She Met On Instagram
Molly Shattuck, an author and former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader, has been indicted and charged with allegedly sexually assaulting a 15-year-old boy multiple times after meeting him through Instagram....
Former AHL Coach Pleads No Contest To Sexting 13-Year-Old Girl
Former Portland Pirates assistant coach Michael Minard pleaded no contest to a charge of sexual misconduct Wednesday. Minard had started an online relationship with a 13-year-old girl he met through Twitter after a game last year....
Tom Tom Employs Sexist Ad To Showcase Running Watch Feature
Tom Tom is one of many GPS companies that make a wrist-mounted system that tracks your mileage, time, and pace while running or walking. But in a field of competitors, how does one stand out? Tom Tom has decided to be defined by its sexism....
Lululemon Triumphs In Creating Ugliest Running Outfit Ever
For anyone that has ever thought that what running has been missing is cutoff overalls, Lululemon has swooped in to corner the market....
FiveFingers Maker Will Pay Millions To Suckers Who Bought Its Shoes
The favorite toe-shoe of vegan restaurant servers and 55-year-old men with ponytails has settled a class action lawsuit brought against it by what sounds like every person who ever wore its foot-condoms....
Police: Woman Hit Fiance With Dale Jr. Beer Bottle, Tried To Frame Him
A South Carolina woman was arrested on Valentine's Day after she allegedly hit her fiance with a large beer bottle, then claimed it was self-defense....
Police Seek Suspect In Rape During Texas A&M-LSU Football Game
Police issued a warrant Thursday for a suspect in a rape that occurred on LSU's campus during the Tigers' football game against Texas A&M....
Bama Fan Pol Accused Of Soliciting Sex From Child Pleads Impotent
Former Mobile County commissioner Freeman Jockisch is facing charges of soliciting sex from a 15-year-old girl on Craigslist, but he's not letting those accusations get in the way of his Alabama fandom. A crimson-clad Jockisch told WPMI he can't possibly be guilty of trying to have sex with a child...
Two Men Caught Trying To Steal Ivy From Wrigley Field
It was the perfect heist: Go to Wrigley Field late at night, squeeze through the metal security bars, go through a window and snag some of the famed ivy from the outfield walls. They just forgot about the cameras, security and police....
WVU Player Commits Robbery In Team-Issued Sweatpants, Gets Arrested
When robbing someone, make sure your victim can't identify you by your football team number plastered on your pants....
NCAA Fines, Reprimands Bill Self For Striking A Scorer's Table
The NCAA's basketball committee has spoken: Because of a strike delivered to a scorer's table, an inanimate object, during Kansas' 70-58 win over North Carolina in the 2013 NCAA Tournament, Kansas coach Bill Self has been handed "a public reprimand and a fine for misconduct." ...
Totally Reasonable Michigan State Student Celebrates Michigan Loss By Detonating Homemade Bomb
The Michigan State Spartans were bounced from this year's NCAA tournament by Duke in the Sweet Sixteen. Even worse for Spartans fans was the fact that in-state rival Michigan made it all the way to the finals, so it totally makes sense that one Michigan State student decided to celebrate Michigan's ...
![Reports: Three Dead, Including Two Former Football Players, After Shooting At Auburn Off-Campus Party [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17pcv3x7tmdcvjpg.jpg)
Reports: Three Dead, Including Two Former Football Players, After Shooting At Auburn Off-Campus Party [UPDATE]
Details are still sketchy, but it appears a shooting took place at an Auburn University off-campus housing complex that is reportedly home to many Auburn athletes. The shooting took place at a party at the complex at some time around 9:30 p.m., according to police chief Tommy Dawson. A press confer...
Today In Bizarrely-Priced Tickets From Wisconsin Police: Softball Coach Gets $177 Citation For Cursing At Players
An insidious trend is developing in Wisconsin. First it was Montee Ball and his $429 ticket for trespassing at a block party. Now comes news that the varsity softball coach at Oconta Falls high school, Dawn Larsen (not pictured), was given a $177 citation after a parent complained about her potty m...
Three Arkansas Football Players Charged With Burglary In Harebrained Scam For The Ages
The hits just keep coming for the Jeff Long and the Razorbacks athletic department. CBS's Eye On College Football reports that Razorbacks wide receivers Maudrecus Humphrey, Marquel Wade and tight end Andrew Peterson were arrested today and charged with residential burglary....
Thunder PA Announcer Arrested And Fired After He Allegedly Forced Kids To Watch Him Masturbate
Jim Miller, the public address announcer for Oklahoma City Thunder games, was arrested yesterday and charged with three felony counts of lewd or indecent acts with a child under 16. The Thunder announced shortly thereafter that they had fired Miller....
Is The Jerry Sandusky Victim List Growing?
According to documents filed by his defense team, it appears that there are indeed more accusers than the 10 involved in the pending criminal action against Jerry Sandusky....
Ohio State Loses Star Recruit Because Of Convicted Sex Offender Charles Eric Waugh
As the ballad of Charles Waugh unfurls, Ohio State has taken its share of lumps in the P.R. department. Now, they are getting hit in the athletic department. Alex Anzalone, a highly rated linebacker recruit from Pennsylvania, has decommitted from the school just one day after the Athletic Departmen...