crimson-tide Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alabama Got Pumped For Tonight's BCS Championship Game By Watching <em>Zero Dark Thirty</em>
According to ESPN's Tom Rinaldi, Alabama players and coaches spent last night watching Zero Dark Thirty, the much anticipated film about the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. The movie doesn't come out until Friday, meaning that someone on the Alabama staff got their hands on an advanced copy. We're super ...

Nick Saban Reportedly Took The Dolphins Job In 2004 Because Wayne Huizenga Bought Off His Wife
Tonight, Nick Saban makes his triumphant return to Miami, where he coached the Dolphins for two largely unpleasant and unmemorable years in 2005 and 2006. Saban's clearly a good coach—he bookended his 15-17 Dolphins stint with a 48-16 record at LSU and a 62-13 record at Alabama—but he never seemed c...

College ShameDay: Is This One Of The Best Notre Dame Teams Ever? And Other Absurd Questions, Answered
Our weekly college football shame index previews the national championship game. ...

<em>Newsday</em>, Like Twitter Users, Simply Cannot Tell Brian Kelly And Chip Kelly Apart
Two college football coaches, both named Kelly. Chip has just completed a marvelous season marred only by the fact that his Oregon Ducks did not get to compete for a national championship and stand to finish third or perhaps second in the final polls. Brian has one of the two teams playing for the n...

Alabama's Justice System Entirely Revolves Around Alabama Football
The Birmingham News reports that an Alabama civil court trial, set to begin on Jan. 7 (also and far more widely known as the day of the BCS championship game between Alabama and Notre Dame) has been postponed because one of the lawyers really, really likes Alabama football. An Alabama football fan i...

Crimson Tide Fan Surprises His Dad On Christmas With BCS National Championship Game Tickets
This dad was already elated to receive the same type of hat that legendary Alabama coach Bear Bryant used to wear as a Christmas gift, but then his son told him to look inside the hat for the bigger surprise. Aww. Roll Tide....

Forbes's 2012 List Of The Most Valuable Teams In College Football Reads A Lot Like The 1936 AP Poll
Forbes's latest best guess at the most valuable college football programs is out, and if you're a Texas fan, congratulations: Your slavering devotion to the Death Star of the Big 12 has paid off once again. You're number one! Granted, you're in the "also receiving votes" category in the AP's poll of...

A Skeptic's Guide To The 2012 Heisman Trophy
Remember the lullaby afternoons of September, when we all figured we'd see a Heisman winner who merited the award? Maybe a Geno Smith, slinging the ball all over the yard, or even a Matt Barkley, who despite being named after Big Bird's dog had the right pedigree and weaponry (Robert Woods and Marqu...

Georgia Woman Exposes Self, Molests Bar Patrons While Watching SEC Championship Game
Watching a big football game at a bar can be fun. You get to drink beer, cheer loudly, and share in the joy of victory or the pain of defeat with other like-minded fans. That experience is probably what patrons of El Jinete and Friends Sports Grill (!) in Dacula, Ga., were looking for when they set...

AP: Upstart Regional School Has The Honor Of Playing Notre Dame For A National Title
Yes, there is no higher merriment in college football than making fun of Notre Dame. But let's not overlook the joys of taunting the other side of the BCS championship matchup. If only there had been a giant sphygmomanometer hooked up to the deep Confederacy last night, to record the mass blood-pres...

Alabama Barely Beats Georgia For SEC Title, Right To Demolish Irish In National Title Game
Your national title game will be SEC semifinal champion Alabama against Notre Dame, which in a just alternate universe just got piss-pounded by Ohio State in the Big Ten title game and ceded its title game slot to Florida. In this universe, though, Notre Dame spent the afternoon licking its chops as...

Quinton Dial Nearly Decapitated Aaron Murray, Got Away With It
Alabama leads Georgia 10-7 at halftime of the SEC Championship, thanks to a late Crimson Tide field goal that might not have happened if they'd been flagged for this brutal hit on Bulldogs quarterback Aaron Murray. Quinton Dial went after Murray after the QB tossed an interception, blindsiding Mur...

Alabama Is At The Center Of A Photograph As Horrifying As It Is Puzzling
We received this picture of a reveling goblin-man delighting in fire and emptiness under the subject "ROLL TIDE!" No further information was provided. Aside from the Nightmare at sea level to the right, we are unsure what we are looking at....

Don't Worry, Rest Of College Football, Alabama's Only Getting The Leading High School Rusher Of All Time Next Year
It's been a good week for college football teams not named "Alabama" because they've been able to bask in the notion, however mistaken, that the gap Alabama between themselves and Alabama is closing. A loss to Texas A&M dropped the Crimson Tide to a previously unthinkable 9-1, and now the team finds...

Some Texas A&M Fan Snuck Onto The Field And Watched The Alabama Game From The Aggies' Sideline
Texas A&M's upset of Alabama was undoubtedly a thrill for every Aggie fan. But imagine what it must have been like for the guy in the top right corner of the photo above. No wonder dude jogged off the field at halftime with such a shit-eating grin: On an A&M message board, he tells the story of how ...

Here's That Alabama Fan's Video Game Meltdown, Set To The Game Footage
Monday, we brought you this, which was amazing: an XBox live gamer freaking out in his game as he watched Bama lose to Texas A&M. Now someone has helpfully set the audio to the actual game footage. Still hilarious....

Here's A Radio Ad Using Smooth R&B To Sell Tactical Firearms To Women
The Paul Finebaum radio program is a must-listen on Mondays after Alabama losses, but almost as good as the panicked redneck phone calls are Finebaum’s advertisers. Here’s one we’re told has been running a few months, from Hoover’s Tactical Firearms in Birmingham. (That’s the gun range that made ne...

A Crimson Tide Fan Watches Alabama Lose And Melts Down In His <i>Modern Warfare 3</i> Game
Online multiplayer is great for exposing you to a wide swath of humanity. Most of that swath is 13-year-old boys hurling slurs, but there's other stuff too. Like this, from a game of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, played Saturday evening just as Johnny Manziel and Texas A&M were finishing up thei...

Deshazor Everett's Name And His Interception To Beat Alabama Are Equally Fantastic
As subplots go, the Alabama-Texas A&M game had an unexpected one from the end of the first quarter through the tense final minute: an errant extra point. Up until the decisive few seconds, when a Bama penalty on an Aggies punt killed the dregs of game clock, there lingered the question of whether...

Nick Saban Cutout Stolen From Gas Station, Returned To Gas Station; Nation Exhales
We can barely keep up with all the breaking Nick-Saban-cutout news. We were just processing the horrible reports—wondering how to tell the children, really—that a life-size cutout of the Alabama coach was stolen from a Tuscaloosa gas station early this morning. We were roughly two-thirds through Küb...