d Page 7292 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man, That Paul Shirley IS Funny!
Phoenix Suns forward Paul Shirley, beloved bethrothed to Our Bill Simmons, is posting again, because he's certainly not playing. We find him slightly less amusing than everyone else does, but this week, he does have his moments:...
Mark Cuban Needs A Hug
When their teams are eliminated from the postseason, most owners:...
Tillman's Parents Blast Military
Pat Tillman's parents blasted the military yesterday for lying to them about the circumstances of their son's death. Tillman, a former strong safety for the Arizona Cardinals, was killed by family fire in Afghanistan in April 2004. "The truth may be painful, but it's the truth," says his mother. "Yo...
The Mustache Is The Most Thing Normal About Them
We don't know whether or not this is offically classified as a "sport" or not, but SportsFilter directs us to the preliminaries of the World Beard and Mustache Championship. The real finals are in October, but the training goes on year round. (Weird soldier outfit is optional.) Interestingly enoug...
Where's Barry?
All kinds of news happening with Barry Bonds. He deigned to bless the world with his presence at the Giants-A's series, reports have him off his IV and ready to begin rehab and even inspiring ESPN village idiot Skip Bayless to write another 1,000 words about nothing at all. But where, we ask, are...
Carlos Zambrano's Internet Addiction
It's a shame the Chicago Sun-Times had to go and ruin all our fun; they've refuted the story that Carlos Zambrano's recent injury woes were due to too much time on the computer. The Cubs say that Zambrano's injury is not carpal tunnel syndrome, though they admit they did ask him to spend less tim...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while secretly watching Desperate Housewives ......
To Watch Tonight ...
Fever has reached 109 degrees. So weak. Must ... reach ... remote ... Game 6: Spurs at SuperSonics: With one more win, San Antonio's Manu Ginobili can totally buy whatever country it is he comes from. Diamondbacks at Astros: Just for laughs Clemens should come out wearing a Yankees cap. Game 6: Pist...
Great Moments In Participatory Journalism
We really can't add much to this story of ESPN.com racing correspondent Bruce Martin being arrested for drunk driving and resisting arrest in Indianapolis....
Leftovers: Will Rice And Clarett Be Friends?
Jerry Rice's desperate search for employment could land him in Denver. [Denver Post] Onterrio Smith dismissed from Vikings. Wonder what he'll do with his spare time? [Minneapolis Star-Tribune] Kentucky slightly less egregiously racist than it was 20 years ago. [ESPN.com] Group of dorks already doing...
Somewhere, Mark Cuban Is Smiling
Charges Dropped Against Hockey Owner Who Punched Referee [Danbury News-Times]...
Put That Coffee DOWN
As Sinead O'Connor once said: "Fight the real enemy." In this case, the World Anti-Doping Agency says that enemy is coffee. The agency head, the unfortunately named Dick Pound, says the agency is considering putting caffeine on the banned substances list. Apparently the Australian Institute of Sport...
"I'm Having Dreams About Grant Wistrom"
One of our favorite mailing lists is the NFLwives club Yahoo Group. A recent discussion concerning which white football players would be willing to date black women (don't ask) yielded this tidbit from a poster named "first_chose":...
Today in MLB Blogs
Where We Look At MLB's Charming Attempts To Revolutionize The Interweb ... First they went on strike, and you welcomed them back. Then they admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs, and you shrugged as you renewed your season tickets. Then they invaded Iraq on false intelligence claims, and ....
Steinbrenner Still Alive And, Apparently, Vaguely Alert
Like everyone, we were beginning to wonder if George Steinbrenner was stashed away in an old-folks home somewhere, terrorizing the arts and craft room and insisting that old ladies shave their facial hair. But alas: He's still around, giving an interview with the YES Network that will air Sunday...
MLB.com Cleans Out Some Junk
As part of its neverending quest to try to figure out a way to make money off the Web, MLB.com has launched its Opening Day Auction site. The site features all kinds of crap that only collectible weirdoes would pay good money for, including a game-used base from a Texas-Anaheim game ($375), a Tim...
Barry Bonds "Taking Fluids"
Remember that '90s movie, "The Doctor?" William Hurt played a hot-shot, cocky doctor who ended up getting sick himself and ultimately learned to be a more humble, warm human being who was nice to puppies and children and plants. Today's question: Will that happen to Barry Bonds? ESPN's Jayson Sta...
New Bill Simmons Cartoon Arrives; Oscar In The Mail
The moment you've all been waiting in lines for months for is here: "Season Two" of the Bill Simmons cartoons!...
Cruelty To Boxers
We understand that it's kind of cool for ESPN to get an interview with James Toney, the boxer who just lost his championship belt after testing positive for steroids, so soon after the news came out. But forcing the poor man to answer questions on the "Budweiser Hot Seat" is just mean. Sample exchan...
Always Bet On Red
We love it when academics get bored. According to a couple of "British anthropologists," teams and athletes that wear the color red are more likely to be successful. "Across a range of sports, we find that wearing red is consistently associated with a higher probability of winning," says one of the ...