da Page 1007 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Omnipresent Sweet Sixteen Starter Open Thread
Tourney games is comin', yo. UConn/San Diego State at 7:15 p.m. BYU/Florida a dozen minutes later. Arizona/Duke at 9:45 p.m.-ish. Finally, Butler and Wisconsin close out the Sweet Sixteen's first night starting at three minutes before 10 or thereabouts....
We Can Now Laugh At This Canadian TV Reporter Who Spoke Gibberish On Monday
Global Toronto reporter Mark McAllister had a Serene Branson moment on air earlier in the week, as he attempted to report on Canada's involvement in the Libya effort. McAllister is reportedly doing fine after experiencing what the network called "a moment of disorientation," so it is probably safe...
Watch Old Zinedine Zidane Abuse A Young Goalie
The Magician will be doing this until he's 80. Class. Pure class. I like how after Zidane finishes toying with this poor lad at some recent Adidas event, he goes over to see if the kid will ever recover....
UFC Fighter Joe Benavidez Is the Champion Of Pedophile Jokes
A mildly amusing Twitter fracas is underway at #sowonderful, a hashtag that has sprung up around the burgeoning legend of Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis, who will one day make a good opponent for new light heavyweight champ Jon Jones. It's in the Yo Momma/Chuck Norris/Dos Equis vein of humor. As of yest...
The Florida Basketball Team Has No Comment On Premarital Sex
A reporter for the Orlando Sentinel attended the Florida Gators' press conference yesterday to ask Billy Donovan and Chandler Parsons about premarital sex, and then he wrote nearly 800 words about how the BYU honor code "lifted college athletics up." Donovan passed on the question — "How hard woul...
Identity Of The Lady Who Bared Her Rump For All To See In The Seventies Is Finally Exposed
Your morning roundup for March 24, the day an 8.5-point underdog taps into its inner Jersey Shore, all Socs-versus-Greasers style....
Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....
We Are All Dave McKenna XLVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit behaves like foot fungus doused with tough actin' Tinactin....
<em>Around The Horn</em> Takes On The March Madness Selection Process
This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you t...
Pat Riley Dance Party!
These are so stupid, we know. And they amuse only us. But damned if we can help ourselves from taking a snippet of video of Pat Riley dancing at a Heat rally and put it toward our own selfish editing purposes....
Pat Jordan Recalls Bo Belinsky: A Modern-Day Athlete From A Bygone Era
No character in sports was more authentic than Robert "Bo" Belinsky, a left-handed pitcher in the '60s. Bo personified "cool," real cool that was intrinsic to his nature, not his public persona. As a rookie, Bo pitched the first no-hitter in California major league history for the Angels. It made h...
The Dave Duerson Autopsy Report Is Predictably Heartbreaking
The Miami-Dade County medical examiner has released her final report on the death of former NFLer Dave Duerson, who shot himself through the heart last month and instructed that his brain be donated to head trauma research. Confirmed by the report is that Duerson complained of "memory loss and inabi...
Dez Bryant Ejected, Maybe Banned From Mall Because Of Saggy Pants
Before the 2010 NFL Draft, Dallas Morning News columnist and/or contemporary of Montesquieu Jean-Jacques Taylor took issue with anonymous NFL types who doubted Dez Bryant's character. Taylor wrote, "His biggest flaw: He is habitually late. No joke. That's the most serious criticism leveled at Bryant...
See? Sometimes Your Life Can Get Better Once You Leave The NFL Behind
Note to those NFL players concerned about what to do if there is no 2011 season: start jotting down those lucid thoughts before the encephalopathy takes hold. It's good advice because Nate Jackson, former NFL player and writer for places of both distinction and ill repute, has just signed a book dea...
LeBron James Dance Party!
LeBron was on Ellen! So that's fun. Also fun: LeBron dancing with an aerobics class, set to a very appropriate music choice for a Miami guy....
We Are All Dave McKenna XLVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit crawls into its death cave and lies down....
Ray Allen, Carmelo Anthony Go Down Bloodied; Big Baby Davis Just Pretends
In a chippy game, Ray Allen needed seven stitches after an elbow from Jared Jeffries, and Carmelo Anthony got five of his own after running into Rajon Rondo. Glen Davis? He just wanted someone to kiss his boo-boo like the better players, so he flopped after a phantom elbow....
We Are All Dave McKenna XLVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Padma tells Snyder's dumbass libel suit to pack its knives and go. Today's topic: Dan's weekend in the Big Easy....
Compiling The Absurd Box Score For <em>Space Jam</em>; Or, Shawn Bradley Sucked Against Cartoons, Too
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Space Jam by t...
We Are All Dave McKenna XLV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is judicially spat upon. Today's topic: Looming scandals....