da Page 1046 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Identity Of The Lady Who Bared Her Rump For All To See In The Seventies Is Finally Exposed
Your morning roundup for March 24, the day an 8.5-point underdog taps into its inner Jersey Shore, all Socs-versus-Greasers style....

Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit behaves like foot fungus doused with tough actin' Tinactin....

<em>Around The Horn</em> Takes On The March Madness Selection Process
This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you t...

Pat Riley Dance Party!
These are so stupid, we know. And they amuse only us. But damned if we can help ourselves from taking a snippet of video of Pat Riley dancing at a Heat rally and put it toward our own selfish editing purposes....

Pat Jordan Recalls Bo Belinsky: A Modern-Day Athlete From A Bygone Era
No character in sports was more authentic than Robert "Bo" Belinsky, a left-handed pitcher in the '60s. Bo personified "cool," real cool that was intrinsic to his nature, not his public persona. As a rookie, Bo pitched the first no-hitter in California major league history for the Angels. It made h...

The Dave Duerson Autopsy Report Is Predictably Heartbreaking
The Miami-Dade County medical examiner has released her final report on the death of former NFLer Dave Duerson, who shot himself through the heart last month and instructed that his brain be donated to head trauma research. Confirmed by the report is that Duerson complained of "memory loss and inabi...

Dez Bryant Ejected, Maybe Banned From Mall Because Of Saggy Pants
Before the 2010 NFL Draft, Dallas Morning News columnist and/or contemporary of Montesquieu Jean-Jacques Taylor took issue with anonymous NFL types who doubted Dez Bryant's character. Taylor wrote, "His biggest flaw: He is habitually late. No joke. That's the most serious criticism leveled at Bryant...

See? Sometimes Your Life Can Get Better Once You Leave The NFL Behind
Note to those NFL players concerned about what to do if there is no 2011 season: start jotting down those lucid thoughts before the encephalopathy takes hold. It's good advice because Nate Jackson, former NFL player and writer for places of both distinction and ill repute, has just signed a book dea...

LeBron James Dance Party!
LeBron was on Ellen! So that's fun. Also fun: LeBron dancing with an aerobics class, set to a very appropriate music choice for a Miami guy....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit crawls into its death cave and lies down....

Ray Allen, Carmelo Anthony Go Down Bloodied; Big Baby Davis Just Pretends
In a chippy game, Ray Allen needed seven stitches after an elbow from Jared Jeffries, and Carmelo Anthony got five of his own after running into Rajon Rondo. Glen Davis? He just wanted someone to kiss his boo-boo like the better players, so he flopped after a phantom elbow....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Padma tells Snyder's dumbass libel suit to pack its knives and go. Today's topic: Dan's weekend in the Big Easy....

Compiling The Absurd Box Score For <em>Space Jam</em>; Or, Shawn Bradley Sucked Against Cartoons, Too
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Space Jam by t...

We Are All Dave McKenna XLV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is judicially spat upon. Today's topic: Looming scandals....

Your NCAA Tournament Sweet Sixteen Finishing Touches Open Thread
In the next few hours, all attendees will have RSVP'd for the Sweet Sixteen extravaganza. The final five match-ups are Arizona vs. Texas; VCU vs. Purdue; Marquette vs. Syracuse; Illinois vs. Kansas; and in the weekend's final game, Florida State vs. Notre Dame....

Danica Patrick Cusses Like An Everyday Trucker
After a bump with Ryan Truex at the Scotts EZ Seed 300 at Bristol Motor Speedway led to a vehicle-to-wall rendezvous, NASCAR spokesdriver Danica Patrick worked up some foul words and made her objections visibly known when she exited her ride....

Charlie Davies Returns To Soccer With A Two-Goal Game For D.C. United
Seventeen months after getting seriously injured in a car wreck that cost him a shot at a 2010 World Cup roster spot, Charlie Davies returned to the pitch in D.C. United's season opener against Columbus last night. He scored on a penalty kick in the 63rd minute, and added a second goal about 15 mi...

Your Early Round-Of-32 Games Open Thread
In the early game, a Kentucky team that barely beat Princeton faces a West Virginia team with a coach who's 8-1 against the head Wildcat....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is, well, you all know....