da Page 1072 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Come Chat With "Shit My Dad Says" Author Justin Halpern Tomorrow At 2pm EST
It's the amusing Twitter account even your dad likes. And, now, it's a book. Come stop by tomorrow for an excerpt and watch the author bravely navigate the commenting arena which has humbled many an author and vaporized one female comedian....

9-Year-Old Beer-Drinking Hockey Players, aka Regular Canadians
A Saskatoon youth hockey team is under fire after posting a video showing the mites with open cans and bottles of beer. Little Pelle Lindbergh proceeded to drive his Big Wheel directly into a school. [Canwest]...

10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....

Was This Sports Blog Post Written By A Sports Blogging Robot Who Might Be Evolving Into A Less-Bad Writer?
No. But if it were, you might not know! At least, that's sort of the premise of this follow-up about an army of sportswriting robots — you know, the ones that may just render sports writing obsolete. Except, they won't....

Obama's 20-Something Staffers Wind Down With Softball And Beer Pong, Like Every Other 20-Something
Our basketball-crazed President is something of a health freak, apparently, so it makes sense that his young staffers are physique-obsessed, too. They go to the gym, play pickup basketball, field a softball team and play beer pong with David Axelrod....

Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....

Touchdown Jesus Wept: Notre Dame's Promo Video Is Funky, Awful
Notre Dame, a small Bible school with one of sports' more offensive nicknames, has decided to promote its athletic program by channeling Parliament-Funkadelic. The echoes just woke up and would like Notre Dame to please keep that awful racket down. [MSF]...

Drew Brees, <em>Times-Picayune</em> Leave The Yard In Entirely Different Ways
"A packed house at Zephyr Field learned two things Wednesday night. One, that child sexual abuse is a big problem, and two, that New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees can smack home runs from either side of the plate." [Times-Picayune; related]...

Blackhawk Duncan Keith Doesn't Appreciate You Prying Into His Finances
This video, taken during Game 4 of the Chicago-Nashville series, shows a Predators fan/heckler getting under the skin of defenseman Duncan Keith. Keith's Norris Trophy-nominated response? A refreshing Gatorade spritz. Points for accuracy immediately deducted for being a ninny. [ChicagoNow]...

The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Is Notre Dame Basketball Coach Mike Brey Illicitly Humping This TV News Lady?
Even if he is, Notre Dame media relations person Bernadette Cafarelli told us over the phone that "Mike Brey is the men's basketball coach at Notre Dame." (Her inflection suggested a "PERIOD!" so I'll add that.) Onto the smutty rumor-grinder....

Joe Biden Mourns The 29 Dead West Virginia Miners By Somberly Crapping On Rich Rodriguez
Here's our walking facepalm of a vice president, speaking at a memorial for the dead miners: "They loved hunting, fishing, riding horses and four-wheelers. They hated the way Coach Rodriguez left West Virginia for Michigan." [TNR]...

Innocent D-Backs Caught In Immigration Debate
Dave Zirin, professional contrarian, has sworn never to write about the Diamondbacks while Arizona's controversial immigration law exists. Funny, we never needed an excuse to not write about the D-Backs. Now go start flaming our comments section. [Edge of Sports]...

Bobby V Comes Out Of The Closet As Someone Who Doesn't Quite Understand The Closet Metaphor
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Tim Tebow And The Broncos: A Match Made In Metaphorical Heaven
Tebow, describing either the orgy scene in Caligula or his first meeting with Josh McDaniels: "There was passion. It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome."...

Jose Canseco Particularly Concerned With Government-Ordered Extermination
Canseco, never one to filter his thoughts on Twitter, outdid himself this week. Sure, it's all likely part of some desperate attempt to drum up publicity, but...uh...damn. You're welcome, I guess. High(?)lights below:...

Jason Campbell Traded to the Raiders, LenDale White and Leon Washington Go to the Seahawks
Said Campbell to ESPN: "I talked to [Al] Davis, and he... wants me to help their team to a new level." Presumably Davis meant the 9th level, so he can take over for Lucifer in a frozen lake of ice....

Orel Hershiser Goes To Coachella: The Lost Tweets
You may not be aware of this, but late-'80s Los Angeles Dodgers pitching legend Orel Hershiser has been missing for almost a week now. He was last heard from on Friday, April 17th, somewhere inside the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California....

Australian Rugby Team Nearly Destroyed Over Salary Cap Violations
One of Australia's top rugby teams was caught secretly exceeding the league salary cap by $1.7 million over five years. The penalty? They have to return two championships, forfeit every game this season and the cops have been called. Yikes....
