da Page 1084 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wes Helms Gets Off When You Fight
On Wednesday, a shouting match between Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla seemed to foretell the 2009 collapse of the Florida Marlins. The clubhouse was imploding along with the team's slim wild card hopes—just as Wes Helms had planned...

It's Going To Be A Fun Year In South Bend
This mysterious billboard was erected in South Bend this week, just across the street from the Notre Dame campus. Oh, that's sweet of Irish fans to throw their support behind beleaguered head coach Charlie Weis like....heyyyyyy, wait a second!...

And One To Grow On
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bengals' First Pick's Three-Part Fail: Fat, Injured, And A Bengal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Watch As Your Childhood Gets Choked Out
Jason David Frank, best only known as the Green Power Ranger, is entering MMA. His first opponent will be the winless Lord Zedd. [MMA Weekly]...

The Math Of Kahn: Ricky Rubio's Deal In Spain Could Work Out For Timberwolves
As expected, the Basketball Jonas has signed with FC Barcelona, meaning he'll join the NBA in 2011, at the earliest. This is bad news for basketball fans and Gillette's marketing department but maybe — maybe — not David Kahn's Timberwolves....

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....

Thomas Jones Had Some Festive Birthday Party Entertainment
You should see these ladies make balloon animals. It's a sight to behold. [JerseyChaser]...

Adam Jones Heads To Great White North
The Pack-Man, as I will always know him, signed a one-year deal with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL. I wonder if NAFTA covers importation of strip club labor. [Canadian Press]...

Did Miguel Tejada Tip Pitches In 2001?
The New York Times seems to think he did, only the paper says so in such a mealymouthed and sidelong way that one starts to wonder if something else is going on here....

World Continues To Pay Homage To Television Character With Customized Replica Jerseys
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

What The Buckeyes Learned In Canada
There must be a reasonable explanation for this photo, besides the obvious scenario of a Michigan SID spying on Thad Matta's squad and hacking into Ohio State's official athletics Web site. On second thought......

It Must Be Lust: Deadspin's 2009 U.S. Open Preview
Greetings, Deadspin tennis fans! It's that time of year again!...

Don't You Dare Call His Tebowness A Student-Athlete
It's deliciously ironic when a flack greets reporters at a press conference and asks for questions for the so-called student-athletes, a descriptor about as accurate as calling Tim Tebow mortal. Hopefully, Tebow will soon rid the world of this nonsense....

In Which We May Soon Celebrate Danica Patrick In All Her Glory And Extremes
When ESPN The Laddie Mag's Body Issue was announced, tWWL was assertive about not becoming Playboy, a magazine for which Danica Patrick has not posed nude. The Body Issue may — or may not! — distinguish itself in that way....

The Cowboys Scoreboard Punter Drinking Game
You don't need a reason to drink this weekend, but you may need a reason to watch a 49ers-Cowboys preseason game that doesn't include "it was the only thing the sheriff would let me watch from the holding cell."...

Illiterate Hockey Coach Now Writing Canada's Laws
Former NHL coach Jacques Demers—who admitted in 2005 that he is functionally illiterate—was appointed to the Canadian Senate by his buddy Stephen Harper. Eh, nobody reads government bills anyway. [Toronto Star]...

Brandon Marshall: Kind Of A Crybaby
Denver probably thought all their troubles were gone when they shipped Jay Cutler out of town, but now they've got an even bigger problem child on their hands in Brandon Marshall. The operative word being "child."...

Arturo Gatti's Widow Still Peeved About That Whole "Falsely Imprisoned For Murder" Thing
And now she's suing the samba pants off the poor Brazilian State of Pernambuco for the indignity. That happened, like, six weeks ago. Get over it already! South American prison couldn't have been that bad. [AP]...
