da Page 1112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sorry, Guys. Marko Jaric Is Officially Off The Market
News of the nuptials between Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric and his Brazilian model-chick, Adriana Lima, spread like herpes from a beer pong tournament this morning. Never underestimate the power of a poorly groomed mustache....

Hallmark Presents The South Dakota State Jackrabbits
South Dakota State's women's basketball team is ranked higher than Tennessee in the current USA Today poll. Their best player also has a tug-at-your-heartstrings story that's gotta be worth three Mitch Albom columns. [USA Today]...

Open Your Wallets: Dan Orlovsky Is On The Market
"[The Detroit Lions] made an offer, but I'm going to test the market and see what's out there for me," Orlovsky said. "I'm pretty confident that I'm going to get a better offer." [AP]...

Carl Joseph Elected To Florida High School Athletic Association Hall Of Fame
Which we probably wouldn't mention, except that the guy played football on one leg, with no prosthetic. [Pittsburgh Sports And Mini Ponies]...

Keggy Returns To Light The Way
As if you needed a reason to love Keggy the Keg — come on, he dispenses school spirit and alcohol! — there's this: Michael Wilbon once called him "That stupid beer thing."...

LenDale White May Or May Not Beat You With His Belt
You may have spent Valentine's Day cuddling with your sweetheart—or crying alone in a dark corner—but LenDale White celebrated his holiday with a little (alleged!) road rage back in his hometown of Denver....

David Falk Says The NBA Players' Union Better Pucker Up
The war is coming—between the NBA Players Association and their league—and if you believe superagent David Falk the players should be prepared to bend over and take what's coming to them....

Stacey Dales' Decision Not To Fly Coach Is One Reason We're In A Recession, Or Something
Poor Stacey Dales. Before last week, she was just another former player with a camera-friendly face who got the axe at ESPN. But since her rumored fly-me-first-class-or-I'm-out demands, she's become a debatable economics topic....

Rich Eisen And Company Help Keep Some Fans' Hearts Aflaming
Most people agree that, outside of the regular season, the pre-draft coverage, including the NFL combine, is the best time to be an NFL Network subscriber. Especially if you're gay, according to Outsports....

There Are No Alligator Wrestlers In Cleveland's Locker Room
David Dellucci told some beat writers he hurt himself wrestling an alligator. Some of them actually believed him. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...

Jerry Wishes Everyone Would Just Shut the Hell Up
Dallas owner, and noted crazy person, Jerry Jones has issued an organizational gag order to prevent leaks, even the ones that aren't real....

Shocking Development In The SI/Danica Tattoo Controversy
The intrepid Brooks of SPORTSbyBROOKS has Telexed us with an urgent communique regarding Danica Patrick's now-infamous checkered flag/Old Glory tattoo (these colors will eventually run as age takes its toll on Danica)....

Shooting's A Sport, Right?
I mean, if biathlon is an Olympic sport, then surely this counts as sport-related. I have no idea where or why this video exists, but it does and we are all better for it....

ESPN Presents Stephen Curry's BracketBusters, Starring Stephen Curry
Surely ESPN spends a lot of time and money putting together its annual BracketBusters event. But if all they want to do is be the PR firm for the Curry family, why bother?...

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime...For Johnny Damon Or Xavier Nady?
So, you hear about that Stanford guy (no, not that one) who stole all the money that Bernie Madoff missed? Well, Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady's assets have been frozen while the Feds investigate....

The Montreal Canadiens Need To Find Better Friends
The 100th season of the Montreal hockey club has had ups and downs, but it's not clear yet where "finding out two of your players are mobbed up" falls on the spectrum of season highlights....

Notre Dame Desperately Wants To Beat <i>Someone</i> At Football
Lou Holtz will take a team of Notre Dame alumni to Japan to play against that country's national American football team. Does any part of the sentence make sense to anyone? [AP]...

Meet Tebow Sanford Crumley
Naming your children after Florida quarterbacks: Isolated case, or alarming worldwide trend? Tebow Crumley was born on Thursday, and can already bench press 200 pounds and sing all the lyrics to The Pirates of Penzance....

Horse Racing Has A Danica Patrick? (NSFW)
Yes, this story is fairly old, but this is the first I've seen of Maylan Studart, whom they're calling the Danica Patrick of horse racing. It's about time we had female jockeys....

Remember, It's An Exhibition, Not A Slam Dunk Competition; Please, No Wagering
One of the many perks of winning the NBA Slam Dunk Competition: You get to appear on The Late Show with David Letterman and attempt a dunk over Biff Henderson....