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And Then There Were ... Four
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

About Last Night
What you missed while watching your stuffed bear get really REALLY excited that Christmas is near ... • NFL: Cleveland beats Baltimore 33- ... no wait, the officials are calling the teams back to the field yet again. This should be over by Tuesday. • Can anyone stop those rampaging Lakers? LA 106, C...

Tom Brady is Mr. Sunday Night
It's been quite a day of football and I'm not sure my heart can take much more after what the Redskins just put me through. Fortunately tonight's game will be the football equivalent of a low-sodium diet. New England is walking into Buffalo having had two weeks to gameplan for a wounded opponent. T...

Troy Aikman Gets Something Right
I was just getting ready to throw some love on Clinton Portis myself. Costumes aside, he's an absolute beast. He's a better blocker than any featured back in the league (Edge included) and if the Redskins throw a pick, odds are Clinton's going try to send the interceptor to the hospital. Jason Campb...

I'm That Mountain Peak Up High
• The best signs from Saturday's edition of Gameday. [Football Jesus Las Vegas] • Nick Young's first leap towards the Dunk Contest. [Mister Irrelevant] • Willie Randolph looks back. [The Mets Are Better Than Sex] • In case you weren't aware or didn't just see it coming, Donovan McNabb is hurt again....

I'm That Mountain Peak Up High
• The best signs from Saturday's edition of Gameday. [Football Jesus Las Vegas] • Nick Young's first leap towards the Dunk Contest. [Mister Irrelevant] • Willie Randolph looks back. [The Mets Are Better Than Sex] • In case you weren't aware or didn't just see it coming, Donovan McNabb is hurt again....

Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....

All Aboard The Marbury Express
Someone told us this morning that Stephon Marbury is basketball's version of "30 Rock"'s Tracy Jordan. This makes a lot of sense to us. You get a sense that, deep down, each is probably a good-hearted person, but they're so many different kinds of crazy that it doesn't even matter. And they're almos...

Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....

Jamboroo, Week 11: A Quick Tribute To The Strongest Motherf—ker In The NFL
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

MNF Used To Keep Prisoners In Line. Really.
When "Monday Night Football" made its move from ABC to ESPN two years ago, we argued that it wasn't really a big deal at all; the notion of cable as "pay TV," something that few can watch, seemed archaic. Jeez, who doesn't have cable anymore? Well, here's something we hadn't considered: Prisons....

Hmm, Who Would Win A Fight Between Herschel And Spurrier?
There's not much more ironically amusing than Steve Spurrier lecturing someone else on sportsmanship, but he's been going after Georgia recently for their big touchdown-pile-on a few weeks ago. He said he'd have sent in a third-string Gamecock to start a fight, therefore getting a bunch of Bulldogs ...

Like Playmakers, But, You Know, NICER
Despite the pleas of Bill Simmons, we've never watched "Friday Night Lights." We're not sure why; maybe we just have too much television in our lives already. Anyway, the show's ratings still aren't improving, and if the writers ever get back to work, the show is expected to be canceled by NBC. But ...

At Last, Proof The Book Will Actually Exist
We're going to do our absolute best to not overdo the whole book promotion thing — it's out January 22 and is available for pre-order on Amazon.com — but we haven't shown you the cover yet (that's it, by Jim Cooke, of course), and we're doing our first public reading tomorrow night. So we thought yo...

David Wright Has A Head Wound
We don't have the slightest idea what the heck David Wright was doing wearing his ninja hat on SNY last night ... but heavens, man, that kid's gone plum crazy. UPDATE: Turns out, this was in honor of cancer patients. Yes. Ahem. Well then. We're dicks.)...

On Maturity, Crazy Eyes And Sheed
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals....

The Chinese Are Quite Mad, You Know
So this is the country that will supposedly be the world's major superpower in 20 years? I have my doubts, considering that this guy covered himself with Chinese Olympic tattoos and didn't allow for any space for advertising. Oh wait, I think I see an ad for Frank TV. Never mind....

Somebody Put The 49ers Out Of Their Misery
It seems kind of crazy, in retrospect, that anyone could have thought the 49ers were going to make some sort of leap this year. (Some idiots even picked them to win the division.) The biggest disappointment is that Mike Nolan is now looking so damned sharp for no good reason. What happened to these ...

About Last Night
What you missed while fleeing the otter invasion ... • NFL: Steve Young on the 49ers: "There is no oxygen in the tent." Seattle 24, San Francisco 0. • NBA: My pair beats your king. A.I., J.R. lead Nuggets over Cavaliers, 122-100. • College basketball: The Hoosiers may have something in Eric Gordon....