da Page 1207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Dullest MNF Game Of Them All
It's not easy to come up with reasons to get excited about tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. We've been trying....

Bicyclists Who Don't Date Olsen Twins
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Michael Jordan Is Paying A Wee Bit In His Divorce Settlement
Michael Jordan and Juanita Jordan got engaged on New Years Eve, 1987. Jordan was in his third year in the NBA at the time, and had just filmed a Nike commercial with Spike Lee. They were married almost two years later — in Las Vegas, of course — and they signed a "post-nuptial agreement," whatever t...

What's NOT The Matter With Kansas?
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

About Last Night
What you missed while fighting the squirrel menace ... • NFL: A 29-yard field goal attempt ... that's basically like an extra point, right? Chargers 23, Colts 21. • NBA: Heat get first win! Thanks, Knicks! • NHL: Avalanche, Stastny just keep rolling along....

Past, Present And Future Football Action
Brett Favre joined Dan Marino as the only quarterbacks in NFL history to throw for 60,000 yards during the Packers' 34-0 shellacking of the Vikings today. (Yes! I started the GB defense this week!) Adrian Peterson injured his knee thanks to an Al Harris helmet shot, but Jesus eventually rose and mad...

Budweiser's Right: The Browns Are So Good They Don't Even Need A Logo
Gus Johnson, calling that exhilarating Bills-Fins game today, just got done saying before the half that he thinks the Steelers are being slept on and that they could easily hang with the Patriots or Colts. DA says, "Suck on my Horse Balls, Gussy!" Browns 21, Steelers 9...

Just Like Indiana Jones, But Not
Non-Football TV • 12:30 — Sahara [TNT] • 1:00 — Bowling: PBA Etonic Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — Boxing: Mike Tyson's Greatest Hits [ESPNC] • 1:00 — Golf: LPGA Tournament of Champions, Final-Round [GOLF] • 1:00 — Reindeer Games [FLIXe] • 1:00 — Rounders [FX] • 1:45 — Richie Rich [TBS] • 2:30 — NCAA ...

Stop Hatin', Start Participatin'
• 12:00 — College Football: Michigan at Washington Wisconsin [ESPN] • 12:00 — College Football: Indiana at Northwestern [ESPNC] • 12:00 — College Football: Wake Forest at Clemson [ESPN2] • 12:30 — College Football: Kansas State at Nebraska [VS.] • 12:30 — The Karate Kid [ABC Family] • 1:00 — Payback...

Jamboroo, Week 10: Featuring Marmalard, A—hole Doctors, Depressed Bunnies, Goldfish, And Lots Of Other Stupid S—t
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Joe Torre, All Hollywood Now
Joe Torre took his triumphant first bow as manager of the Dodgers yesterday, but as anyone who sees this picture can tell you, he was mostly just there to channel Enrico Palazzo....

You're Not Getting Rid Of Schilling That Easily
For one day only, it's the return of the Daily Closer!...

Anything That Doesn't Require Watching The Game
By the way, athletes are always being hammered for having "contract years," in which they play harder when they know they're going to be a free agent. Shouldn't Brian Billick have to give back part of the contract extension he got last year? That team's offense has never, ever gotten better, and now...

The Mavericks Invite You To Eat Their Dust
Those of you constantly demanding to see Dirk Nowitzki leaning out of a car window while taking a lap at the Texas Motor Speedway can stop your letters and e-mails: Your wish has finally been granted. Of course now that I see it, I have the urge to jump in the car and take my dog for a drive. Come'...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you cuddle with your vital organs ... • NFL: Baltimore at Pittsburgh. We preferred this matchup back when there was no AFC. [ESPN] • NHL: Philadelphia at New York Rangers. Petr Prucha picked a peck of picked peppers. [Versus] • NBA: Rockets at Mavericks. More excitement than fifty W...

Who's Number 2?
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think. Fans can sincerely disagree whether Ohio State is truly better than either LSU or Oregon — more worthy of being ranked No. 1....

Fabregasted!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Let's just say I was due. If Martina Hingis had wandered onto my London flight naked and slathered in Toblerone, rocking a gram of cocaine and offering to induct me into her Mile High Club, I still would have been due. It wasn't even the hour...