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Week in Deadspin: Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub
MDS [Deadspin] MJD [Deadspin] Skeets [Deadspin] My Dumb Ass [Deadspin]...

Dan Shanoff Redux: Who's Up for a Quickie?
A one time annual event, Dan Shanoff has graciously offered up his end of year, hot/not list for perusal/debate that was headed for the internet vapor since his Daily Quickie column was shutdown by those smoldering cuntrags at ESPN. After the jump, follow Shanoff's ghost to prepare yourself with thi...

Cultural Oddsmaker: So, What's Everybody Doing for New Year's?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. A.J. Daulerio was denied a bank loan. Email him to let him know what you think....

A Call Out to Objectify This Man's Wife
From the Letters to the Guest Editor department:...

Heads Up!
Good morning again! Just to let you know, the fine folks at Gawker media have yet to turn on my [email protected] account. So, if you've got anything, just email them to [email protected]....

Good Morning: Do Not Underestimate This Gay Mexican
Mornin', Spinheads, A.J. Daulerio reporting for duty. I'll admit, I'm still a little hobbled from holiday excess: the nog drinking, the oversleeping, the Eagles euphoria, the late nights spent watching Tivo'd episodes of Rob and Big, and especially from the seven fish dinner on Christmas Eve at my A...

Oh Miller Don't Wanna Dance With Somebody
And thankfully, I won't have to watch him feel the heat with somebody. With somebody who (somebody who) loves him. Sigh....

Danny White And Herschel Walker Would Like To Wish You A Belated Merry Christmas
In case you needed a little push to take down the last of those Christmas decorations, this should stomp out your remaining holiday cheer. We offer you the 1986 Dallas Cowboys singing Christmas in Dallas, proving that there were other disasters besides the Challenger Space Shuttle and Iran-Contra th...

Hirshey: It Should Have Been Mourinho
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Tony Romo Cockblocks A Deadspin Commenter
In last month's Deadspin thread discussing the three Thanksgiving NFL games, commenter Wingman said the following:...

The Greg Oden World Domination Tour Rolls On
I won't be here to share it with you, I'm afraid, but there are a couple of pretty noteworthy games on the college basketball schedule this afternoon. Greg Oden and Joakim Noah get it on as #3 Ohio State visits #4 Florida at 4:00 on CBS, and then at 4:30 on ESPN2, Bob Knight has a chance to become t...

Dan Shanoff's "Deadspin Night Before Christmas"
Those of you familiar with this time of year around the ole Four Letter Word network have probably become accustomed to the yearly Sports Night Before Christmas poem written by Daily Quickie scribe Dan Shanoff. (Lord, he'd been there since 2001. Holy cow.) Well, as most of you know, Dan's no longe...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Fun With Gender Roles
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Not A Good Way To Be Added As A Friend
John Brantley is a top-rated high school quarterback who had initially planned on attending Texas before deciding instead to stay closer to home in Florida, reportedly because his girlfriend goes there. Because nothing in the world is more pure, charming and altruistic than collegiate athletic rec...

Five Hours Ago, Dontrelle REALLY Had To Pee
That marriage ... (sips imaginary glass of bourbon) ... it's a tough racket. Just two weeks after getting married, Marlins pitcher (and awfully likable fellow) Dontrelle Willis has already discovered something about the institution: It'll drive you to drink. At 4 a.m. this morning in South Beach, Wi...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Barbaro
And here we are, the matchup we are personally most curious about, the one featuring the infamous Carl Monday and good ole Barbaro, who would be a late charger if only his hoof would grow. We have been looking forward to this one since this got started....

ESPN Has Learned This Post Was Just Written
We were traveling yesterday afternoon — we're back in Mattoon for the holidays — so we weren't able to give this the attention it probably deserved. So allow us to correct that now....

Meet The Ms. Dice-K
As we begin to learn a bit more about Daisuke Matsuzaka, the newest sliver of heroin to the junkies of Red Sox Nation, we, as we all tend to do, take a look at his homelife. Specifically, his wife, Tomoyo Shibata, who, according to the outstanding research of UmpBump, has caused a stir in Japan for ...

Darryl Strawberry's Advice For The Lovelorn
All right, all right, break it up! Stop it! Now can't you two see that you're still in love with each other? You've been searching all over for happiness when all the time it was right here in your own backyard. Now give each other a hug. Come on!...

At The Garden With Deron, Stephon And The Cabal
So it figures: We go see our first (and likely only) Knicks game of the year, and not only is it their most "exciting" victory of the year, but it's a one that, the day after, even Knicks fans don't really care about. The Knicks had a rare stud game from Stephon Marbury — and by "rare," we mean "we ...