da Page 1246 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Closer: It's A Joe, Out Of Control
Notes from a day in baseball ......
It's Carl Monday Night At The Ballpark
As you know, we're big fans of minor league baseball, particularly the odd promotions they put together from time-to-time. (We still think our favorite is the time a team gave away free vasectomies on Father's Day.) And a couple of weeks ago, we pointed you to the Dunedin Blue Jays' professional w...
Emmitt Smith Encourages You To Keep Looking At Him
We didn't actually watch it, and we don't have video or anything, but apparently the Miss Universe contest was on NBC last night. The only real interesting thing about beauty contests — other than, "Will one of them fall down? Please?" — is the celebrity judges, and last night's battle had some do...
The Closer: Can't Anyone Follow A Simple $%#&%! Order?
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Finally, YouTube Of Monday-Cooper, Part II
We know, it's a week-and-a-half old now, but we never did get a hold of YouTube of the gripping finale of the Carl Monday-Mike Cooper saga, and it has been nagging us, since we this whole thing started from YouTube anyway....
Chalk One Up For The Little Guy
And so the debate rages: Does Johnny Damon, or doesn't he, suck? We refuse to take sides, but one thing we can report is that our nation's babies are now involved. A New Bedford housewife, still miffed over Damon's defection to the Yankees, had been trying to sell "Johnny Damon Sucks" baby bibs on...
The Closer: In Boston, Less Is More
Notes from a day in baseball ......
The Closer: Exploring The Melky Way
Notes from a day in baseball ......
Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men ...
The Closer: It Hasn't Been A Barry Good Year
Notes from a day in baseball:...
The Headbutt That Will Not Die
If you're tired of hearing about the Zidane World Cup headbutt (or, the "Glasgow Handshake," as such a move is more commonly called), well, sorry. Even as you read this, an army of computer nerds are producing animated gifs of the incident at alarming rates. The French have their version of the co...
One Final Monday-Cooper Explosion ... Be Ready
So if you're like us and you spend your weekends doing everything you can to avoid the computer, you might not know about this yet. So we feel like maybe you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You might not be ready....
Dan Marino May Look Much Different Next Year On CBS
If you're not familiar with PostSecret.com, it's a website that invites the general public to send in their deepest, darkest secrets on a postcard, and then they publish them on their website. It's a popular website. There's a book in publication, and a lot of people, I suppose, find it therapeuatic...
Cowboys Safety Keith Davis Shot
Dallas Cowboys safety Keith Davis is recovering from two gunshot wounds sustained last night during a drive-by shooting on a Dallas highway. His condition is listed as stable, and despite being shot in the head and in the thigh, his injuries aren't considering life-threatening....
It Just Keeps Giving
I'm afraid I gave you only part of the story with the earlier Mike Cooper post. Carl Monday has gotten himself involved again, and where there's Carl Monday, there's more story....
Mike Cooper Avoids Jail Time; Prison Showers
The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an or...
The Mike Cooper Sentencing ... You Are There!
Well, the Mike Cooper sentencing is over, and our man Jimbo was, indeed, there. We're still not sure precisely what Cooper's sentence was — Jimbo didn't make it that far into the proceedings — but he was there, and he even captured Cooper and his parents on his camera phone ... kind of....
Cultural Oddsmaker: Death Becomes Them
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of fan mail....