da Page 1251 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Closer: Jose Contreras Will Rock Your World
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Hirshey: We Waited Four Years For THIS?
David Hirshey's World Cup Closer begins today. Enjoy....

How To Brainwash Your Baby Early
From the folks at Thrillist comes a truly mortifying discovery: Team Baby Entertainment, DVDs designed to brainwash your otherwise sensible and emotionally curious child into a life of violent confrontion, xenophobic geographic loyalties and face-painting....

Boy, The Heat Sure Look Done Already
As Free Darko pointed out, last night's Mavericks-Heat game was hardly one they'll be showing off on NBA TV in a week. The Mavericks dominated the whole way, and as little fun as it is to pronounce a series over before they even switch venues, it kind of looks like the Heat might be done....

Rileyball To Rear Its Ugly Head
Well, here we go. Pat Riley, shown above after being asked about the size of Shaquille O'Neal's penis, has made clear his intention to ugly up the NBA Finals. They're going to roll with a little more "Rileyball," which is, of course, another term for ugly basketball. For examples, see any of the ...

Federer Remains Nadal's Bitch
Rafael Nadal further cemented his place as the world's greatest athlete in capri pants by beating Roger Federer in the finals of the French Open this morning, 1-6, 6-1, 6-4, 7-6 (4). And in celebration, not settling for a simple kiss of the French Open trophy, he attempted to perform fellatio on it....

Favre, Jeter, Kobe, Barry... All Your Favorites
Harris Interactive conducts a poll every year to determine America's favorite athletes. Michael Jordan has occupied the top spot every year since 1993, but this year, Tiger Woods shoved him out of there like Bryon Russel, and Tiger took MJ's top spot. I guess the people of America really loved tha...

Let's Get French For A Second
Justine Henin-Hardenne beat Svetlana Kuznetsova 6-4, 6-4 this morning to win her third Freedom French Open, and her second in a row. It is the fifth Grand Slam win of her career....

Terrell Owens, Symbol For The Youth
You know, this is the NBA Finals, the World Cup, the start of some obviously exciting baseball pennant races and, of course, ant soccer. One would think it would be our one Terrell Owens-free time of the year....

Mark Cuban's Courtside Blogging Madness
Last night's NBA Finals Game 1 Mavericks victory over the Heat was an impressive one, and a fun one to watch; we feel optimistic about the series as a whole. (Though a scary part inside us keeps whispering nasty matters about a sweep.)...

So ... We've Got Some Affidavit Names
Everyone's guessing about who the blacked-out names in the Jason Grimsley report are, and it has been a fun parlor game so far. But we all knew eventually the names would get out. And we've been digging around ... and some sources have given us some names....

NBA Finals Pants Party: Mavericks Vs. Heat
We all used to complain that the NBA playoffs took too long to finish, that there were too many games, that it was just all too much. Now, the complaints are about having to wait too long for the Finals to start. Yeah, we'd call that progress....

Introducing Your World Cup Closer
Joining us on our World Cup Blog team, starting Tuesday, will be David Hirshey, known both as "one of America's leading soccer experts" (Soccer America) and "an insufferable soccer poet" (Tony Kornheiser). We're honored to have him penning the World Cup Daily Closer throughout the tournament....

Defending Mr. Cooper
So we've been thinking about the $500,000 bond required of the victimized Mike Cooper, and we did a little search through Google News for some comparisons....

Careful Where You Buy Your Tickets
A helpful reminder for anyone thinking of buying some scalped tickets for Thursday's NBA Finals, from our friends at The Consumerist: Beware, buyers....

Carl Monday Will Have You Locked In Jail With The Key Thrown Away
A commenter brought this up yesterday, but we still cannot believe it: Mike Cooper, the 23-year-old dreamer with the sad misfortune of unleashing his lonely penis within a four-mile radius of Carl Monday, is being held on $500,000 bond after his arrest for indecency charges. You heard that correct...