da Page 478 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Injured Soccer Player's Foot Run Over By The Medical Cart Meant To Rescue Him
Some soccer videos require hundreds of words to describe their true beauty and resonance. The passing angles are dissected to the nth-degree, or the trajectory of a free kick is gushed about as the work of art it truly is....

New Ohio State Coach Ryan Day Has Already Poached A Pair Of Michigan Coaches
Today marks the end of Ryan Day’s first week as Ohio State’s head coach, a position he inherited after Urban Meyer slunk off following the Buckeyes’ Rose Bowl win. Day will face a tough task as he takes over for a man who had single-digit losses in his seven seasons. (Hopefully he does not imitate M...

Does Hockey Have Any Damn Business In Texas?
This week we’re talking about Notre Dame, New Year’s resolutions, whether you too can be a Football Man, and of course, Mitsubishi. ...

Anthony Davis Latest To Exhibit Symptoms Of Shammgod Madness
Here’s the freshest from this NBA season’s bumper crop of Shammgod crossovers: this damn Anthony Davis, ensuring that the truly enormous are represented, too. This just isn’t right:...

Clemson Tigers Roll Tide Up In An Area Rug And Dump Them In A River
Well, that was an ass-whupping. Clemson scored first and kept scoring, and Alabama shot their own butts off, and when it was over—roughly three minutes into the fourth quarter—the Tigers had secured a 44–16 victory over Alabama and definitively replaced them as college football’s preeminent powerhou...

90-Year-Old Cyclist Stripped Of World Record After Failing Anti-Doping Test
Last July, 90-year-old cyclist Carl Grove was the lone competitor in his age group at the U.S. Masters Track Championships, where he set an age-group world record in the individual pursuit with a time of 3:06:129. Sadly, Grove subsequently popped a positive for the banned steroid epitrenbolone in a ...

The Seahawks Will Have To Finish Out A Playoff Game Without A Kicker
Seahawks kicker Seabastian Janikowski injured his leg on a missed 57-yard field goal attempt at the end of the first half of tonight’s defensive struggle against the Cowboys, and Seattle has apparently decided that they don’t trust star punter Michael Dickson to attempt even extra points....

Cowboys WR Allen Hurns Leaves Game On Stretcher After Gruesome Leg Injury
In the first quarter of tonight’s playoff game, Cowboys receiver Allen Hurns was tackled by Seahawks safety Bradley McDougald. As Hurns was fighting to stay upright, McDougald fell onto Hurns’s left leg and broke it....

ESPN Doesn't Appear To Know What Happened During The Civil War
In the latest example of why things from the internet should stay on the internet, the Monday Night Football crew decided to talk about their latest online discovery: the Capt. Andrew Luck twitter account. For those unfamiliar, the parody account features an avatar of Luck’s face over a Civil War ge...

Dirk Nowitzki Couldn't Get The Two Measly Points The Celtics Kind Of Wanted To Give Him
“Most career points in the arena by a visiting Western Conference player” is the type of mark that’s closer to a tough trivia answer than a cherished record, and Dirk Nowitzki only needed a single field goal to pass Kobe Bryant for it in Boston last night. Everyone involved wanted the vile Kobe to l...

Peter King Is Back On His Bullshit, Removes Antonio Brown From All-Pro Ballot To Appease His "Good Conscience"
Peter King did what Peter King does best and decided to stand up for the moral sanctity of a league institution: the NFL’s All-Pro team. The former Sports Illustrated columnist told Mike Florio on Friday’s Pro Football Talk Live that he couldn’t “in good conscience” keep Steelers wideout Antonio Bro...

Jared Allen's Curling Team Of Ex-NFLers Is Starting From The Bottom And Aiming For The Olympics
It doesn’t happen with skeleton or short track speed skating, and definitely not ski jumping, because we all have families that love us. But we’ve all thought about it while watching Olympic curling: How hard can it be? The calculated walking. The histrionic screams. Pushing the rock, or whatever it...

Report: "Football Guys" Have Broken The Pelicans And May Scare Anthony Davis Away
NBC Sports’ NBA insider Tom Haberstroh makes the case that the Pelicans have failed Anthony Davis and seems to imply that the organization’s chances of bringing back the generational talent have grown rather slim. While he goes through a bunch of factors that show just how mediocre the franchise has...

The Giants Are Maybe Ready To Maybe Maybe Maybe Move On From Eli Manning
Giants general manager and ornery math-hater Dave Gettleman did his year-end press conference on Wednesday. Predictably, the questions tended to angle for information about the team’s quarterback situation, where Eli Manning has become a tomato can while somehow also putting up one of the more conve...

The Booger Mobile Has Been Decommissioned For The Season, And Possibly Forever<em></em>
Bad news for all those Boogerheads out there: ESPN will not be utilizing Booger McFarland’s whimsical and obnoxiously large contraption for this weekend’s Colts-Texans wild-card playoff game. The Booger Mobile’s aspirations for world domination have hit a snag....

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
Happy new year, one and all. This year, resolve to take better care of your dick and balls; last year you did a really bad job of it....

These NFL Coaches Sucked Enough To Get Fired This Year
Hue Jackson and Mike McCarthy were horrible enough to get canned during the regular season, but now that Week 17's wrapped up, it’s time for all the other disappointing NFL head coaches to join them in the Great Coordinator Gig in the Sky. Here’s a brief roundup of everyone who’s been canned today....

Dan Snyder Doesn't Get It
Was this it, finally? Was this the utter embarrassment needed for Dan Snyder, who has owned an NFL team for 20 years and watched it descend over that time from the ranks of the league’s proud/storied/whatever franchises into a permanent laughingstock—over which time the one constant has been Snyder ...

Amanda Nunes's Destruction Of MMA's Most Feared Woman Was Shockingly Easy
Before Amanda Nunes blitzed her last night at UFC 232, the closest fearsome Brazilian destroyer Cris Cyborg came to losing against top-level competition was a dominant decision win against Holly Holm last year. Aside from that bout and a career-starting kneebar loss—the sort most strikers have on th...

Clemson Reminded Us That Notre Dame Is A Fraud
Who didn’t see this coming? For what’s felt like the entire college football season, Notre Dame had the air of championship pretenders, despite running the table through their hand-picked schedule. In Saturday’s first College Football Playoff semi-final, Clemson put any doubt about that assumption t...