da Page 513 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
These Two Points Adequately Represent Rafael Nadal's Ridiculous Clay Season
Rafael Nadal won the French Open on Sunday, and there’s little new to say that wasn’t already said after last year’s title. After the preposterousness of 10, 11 doesn’t feel so different. But even into the double-digits, it’s worth remembering that the points are fucking absurd....
Jordan Bell Might Be The Drunkest Golden State Warrior
In the immediate aftermath of Game 4, Warriors rookie Jordan Bell wielded two bottles of celebratory champagne. These were the results:...
Erik Karlsson's Wife Melinda Accuses Teammate's Girlfriend Of Extended Harassment Campaign
Here is an utterly bizarre story from the Ottawa Citizen: Melinda Karlsson, wife of Ottawa Senators defenseman Erik Karlsson, has filed an order of protection against a woman she accuses of harassing her and her husband, including after the death of their stillborn baby. The woman accused is Monika ...
Never Take Your Kids To A Championship Parade<em></em>
I was not born or raised in the D.C. area but all of my children were, and so I felt it was my solemn duty as a Good Sports Dad to take them downtown for the Capitals’ Stanley Cup parade, the first major title parade to take place here in nearly three decades. This was a celebration that was unprece...
Florida Returns To College World Series Thanks To Auburn Outfielder
Austin Langworthy will be credited with the 11th-inning walk-off homer, but it came with an assist from Auburn outfielder Steven Williams:...
Boss As Hell Baserunner Steals Home In Tie Game With Trip To College World Series On The Line
The Auburn and Florida baseball teams are meeting in a Super Regional contest tonight, the winner of which will head to the College World Series. Nice high stakes, there, which makes what happened with two away in the bottom of the fourth inning all the more bitchin’:...
Otherwise Cursed A's Fan Blessed With Two Straight Foul Balls
Lifelong Oakland Athletics fans younger than 28 years old have never seen their team make a World Series appearance. Various A’s teams have been spunky and overachieving and paradigm-altering in their strategic cheapness, but lately they have just been bad. But it makes sense that the team whose app...
Dominic Thiem Owned By Rafael Nadal In French Open Final, Owned Again During Trophy Presentation
If you missed the men’s French Open final yesterday, you missed three quick sets of Rafael Nadal being Rafael Nadal and winning his 11th French Open trophy. But you also missed the trophy presenter, former Grand Slam winner Ken Rosewall, providing some unusually honest, slightly unfair analysis of N...
Rafael Nadal's French Open Is A Confrontation With His Only Real Threat
Dominic Thiem and Rafael Nadal will play each other in the French Open final on Sunday. Only one outcome has ever resulted from a French Open final involving Rafa. For a reality check, pinch yourself and say aloud, “Rafael Nadal has won 10 French Opens.” There is only the slimmest chance that Thiem ...
Let's Remember Some Guys: More 1981 Fleer Mustache Aficionados
If you’re not remembering, are you forgetting? It’s a question that has vexed and divided the Guy Remembering community for centuries. Our work, in Remembering, is fundamentally about sustaining—about keeping alive the memory of Steve Jeltz’s very wet hair, or a terribly rude song that someone sang ...
Let’s Revisit Anthony Bourdain’s Hilariously Disastrous Trip To Romania<em></em>
There is an inexhaustible stock of incredible moments of connection, understanding, and joy in the archives of Anthony Bourdain’s show—A Cook’s Tour, No Reservations, The Layover, and Parts Unknown are really just four iterations of the same show—that the world inevitably feels like a brighter, more...
Anthony Bourdain Was Who I Wish I Was
As I’d imagine many or, who knows, maybe even most of those who admired him did, I once had the strange experience of realizing that Anthony Bourdain seemed to know a place I lived better than I did. In 2009, his No Reservations program went to Chicago, and if he didn’t get the entire city, which of...
Who Is The Most Adam Sandler Director?
Most friendships have a sort of intrinsic half-life. Each passing year tends to draw you further from the people you care about or at least reduce the number of people you stay in touch with, but this is usually a good thing. I’d say the best number of friends is somewhere around MySpace’s platonic...
Anthony Bourdain Stood Up For Women Without Making It About Him<em></em>
Somebody gave me a copy of Kitchen Confidential shortly after I graduated from college; I wish I remembered who. I mostly subsisted on Trader Joe’s frozen meals back then, and I’m almost certain I had never heard of Anthony Bourdain....
Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever?
Orioles first baseman Chris Davis is in real danger of having the worst season in the history of baseball. That’s not a joke or hyperbole. He’s playing unbelievably, historically bad baseball:...
Trump Thinking "Very Seriously" About Pardoning Muhammad Ali, Who Has No Criminal Record
Muhammad Ali’s career in the ring came to a standstill in 1967 upon the late boxer’s conviction for avoiding the Vietnam Draft by declaring himself a conscientious objector. Four years later, the U.S. Supreme Court reversed that conviction by a unanimous vote; 47 years later, Donald Trump is suggest...
The 2018 <i>Hockey Night In Canada</i> Season-Ending Montage Is Here<em></em>
Hockey is over for the summer. That sucks! Perhaps, maybe, the only thing that can get us through those lean months will be the annual masterpiece that is the Hockey Night In Canada season-ending montage, set this year to Oasis (??). Here you are....
Gator, Tied Up And Pissed Off, Owns The Hell Out Of His Asshole Captors
Do the best you can with what you have—it’s an old idiom, and one that is particularly useful when it comes to explaining the above image. It is also useful to note the pathetic foot at lower left. Here is how it came to pass....
Darren Rovell On Fake Headline He Wrote 12 Hours Earlier: "It’s Just Really Bad"
Darren Rovell, an AI who aims to drive Earth’s entire population insane through the banality of its observations, launched yet another attack on our psyches last night:...
The Undersized Diego Schwartzman Took A Set Off Rafael Nadal, And Then It Rained
Tennis, particularly the men’s side, has fallen into a certain rhythm, and if you’re a certain kind of old-school clay-court fogey, this rhythm might be boring. Boom, boom, boom, boom. The serve is the most powerful offensive tool in the game. It is the only shot in the game completely within a play...