da Page 898 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lance Armstrong Files Suit Against USADA And Its "Kangaroo Court"
Lance Armstrong is through fucking around. The latest doping charges against the seven-time Tour De France winner and world-class bully have been answered, not with evidence or witnesses, but with a lawsuit. Armstrong has taken the US Anti-Doping Agency to federal court, claiming that USADA's charge...
Marlins Complain To MLB Because Greg Dobbs, Justin Ruggiano, And Steve Cishek Didn't Make The All-Star Team
Giancarlo Stanton, the hulking Marlins right fielder, is having one hell of an age-22 season—19 home runs, a .284/.364/.554 batting line, an all-star spot, solid gold stuff. Or, well, Stanton's season was solid gold until he hurt his knee. He underwent surgery today and pulled out of the home run de...
Did An ESPN Anchor Need To Apologize For An Astros "Trailer Park Day" Joke?
Car seats are used to safely secure children inside of automobiles. They are not baseball gloves and should not be used for such a purpose. When SportsCenter showed the highlight of a Houston Astros fan attempting to utilize such a device for exactly that, an exasperated Bram Weinstein asked, "Is ...
The Yankees Really Flexed Their Muscles At Fenway Park This Weekend
The Yankees put 28 runs across the plate at Fenway this weekend, taking three of four from Boston and extending their AL East lead to seven games. As is the case across the league at Yankees road games, Bronx Bombers fans turned out en masse to remind opponents that they are douchebags that the Yan...
What Is On The Syllabus for Florida State's Class On How Not To End Up Like Bobby Petrino?
It's an important class for college students these days, so thank goodness for Dr. Jason Pappas. The course is named "Issues in Sports Management," or perhaps more accurately "How To Avoid Crashing Your Motorcycle While Joyriding With A Younger Female Employee Who Is Not Your Wife." Its course code...
Canada Beats United States In Football, Local Weekend Guy Defensively Sneers At Canada
Oooh Canada, you think you're so big and tough with your two straight victories over American, likely Division-I recruit high school players, don't you? Well guess what? You're still from Canada and say "eh" all the time, so stuff it. When did you guys have time to learn football between all the ic...
Ford C. Frick Award-Winner Tim McCarver Mocked A Cancer Charity During Tonight's Broadcast [UPDATE]
Locks Of Love is a charity that makes wigs out of donated hair for children who have lost theirs due to cancer treatments or other medical reasons. Most people are familiar with Locks Of Love, for whom well-known hirsute people often go shorn in the name of charity and good faith....
Freeh Investigation Report Said To Be "Tough On Paterno"
According to ESPN The Magazine's Don Van Natta, Jr., The Freeh report should be released as soon as next week. It is expected to be bad for Joe Paterno....
Sportswriters: Just Because You're Simpletons, That Doesn't Make You Forrest Gump
On Sunday, the usually great Times reporter Karen Crouse came out with this unfortunate bit of imagery:...
Oops! Joe Paterno Knew How To Use Email After All
The Chronicle of Higher Education is reporting today that it has obtained evidence demonstrating that, contrary to claims from his family's legal representatives, former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno was in fact able to use email. And he wasn't afraid to do so in order to try and protect hi...
Gahhh! Japanese Baseball Is Terrifying, Reports Hiroki Kuroda
That smiling man up there is Hiroki Kuroda of the New York Yankees. Kuroda's first season in the American League has been a good one—he's got a 134 ERA+ in 16 starts heading into the all-star break. So he has good reason to smile now. But he didn't, way back when, writes David Waldstein in the New Y...
Caption Contest: What Are These Mets Fans Up To?
It's Friday, and we feel like giving away stuff. Take your best shot at captioning this screencap, and we'll award the best one an actual prize of some crap from our desk. We'll announce the winner Monday. Have at it!...
So, About Those Witnesses Against Lance Armstrong
The revived case against Lance Armstrong hinges on more than just blood samples from 2009 and 2010 that reportedly show evidence of doping. USADA, still humping this case years after most of us stopped caring about it, allege "a massive doping conspiracy from 1998 to 2007," involving Armstrong, his ...
One Female Tigers Fan Was Really Letting It All Hang Out Last Night
The weather in Detroit's been in the mid-90s this week, high enough to encourage wearing as little clothing to the ballpark as possible—even amidst a rainstorm that delayed the game two and a half hours. The wait was worth it for Tigers fans, who stuck around to admire yet another command Justin Ve...
Hanley Ramirez Does Most Hanley Ramirez Thing Ever, Takes A 30.3 Second Home Run Trot
According to Baseball Prospectus, which is home to the wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, Marlins third baseman Hanley Ramirez—no stranger to taking his time on the diamond—took one of the longest home run trots in history on July 1st. It took Ramirez 30.3 seconds to make it around the bases, which is on...
Timbers Defender David Horst Took A Shot To The Face At Point-Blank Range
The Portland Timbers turned away San Jose last night at Jeld-Wen Field with a 2-1 win over MLS' top squad. It didn't come without some pain and suffering, though, as defender David Horst lay his face on the line for his team to block a shot in the 37th minute. Lest the reputation that soccer play...
Ron Washington Doesn't Like This One Bit
The offensive juggernaut that is the Texas Rangers found themselves on the other side of the coin last night, falling behind to the White Sox 18-0 before scratching two of their own runs across the plate. Another sub-par performance by Roy Oswalt is only part of the story, as a generally-robust Ran...
A Lady Street Brawl, As Critiqued By Twitter Legend ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "girl fight at club after she gets banned." Tonight's commentator: Twitter's ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER, aka @Zodiac_MF, who offers a very special review of footage shared wit...
Jaromir Jagr Signs With Dallas Stars, Is Still Old And Not Very Good
Earlier today, Jaromir Jagr—who said on Sunday that 21 teams made him offers— signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Stars. It's worth $4.5 million....
The Grierson & Leitch July 4 Extravaganza: Movies That Made Us Love America
Today and yesterday, Grierson & Leitch honors America by spotlighting films that exemplify the best our country has to offer—and the worst. Yesterday: Movies that made us feel worse about America. Today: Movies that made us love this goddamned country. ...