da Page 916 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There Are Already Lots Of Empty Seats At Marlins Games
All right, so, there's nothing worse and more useless than attendance stories in April. Still: here's one anyway. The Marlins, despite that fancy new ballpark, haven't even been close to filling the place....
How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....
Tony Parker's Crossover Of Ramon Sessions Is So Good, Sessions's Teammate Applauds
Parker goes from left to right so quickly, Sessions is left with an instant to wonder what happened before he makes a too-late attempt to recover. But what about Jordan Hill, in the headband on the Lakers' bench? Parker's move also seems to fake him into cheering for the wrong team....
Kentucky Declares For NBA Draft
UK's entire starting five—freshmen Anthony Davis, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and Marquis Teague, and sophomores Doron Lamb and Terrence Jones—announced they'll be leaving Lexington after a national championship. They'll be joined by senior Darius Miller, so John Calipari—as proud as he is of his one-an...
Davey Johnson Is Perplexed And Unmoved By Press Conference Fire Alarm
Okay, let's get this out of the way first. Yes, it's hilarious to hear Nats manager Davey Johnson say, completely out of context, "It was shockingly beautiful, and big. I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, jeez. My first one was in 1966." He's talking about Edwin Jackson's World Series ring. Not a pe...
Miami TV Station Congratulates The Florida International University Panthers On Their Stanley Cup Playoff Win
The Florida Panthers took a 2-1 series lead over the New Jersey Devils with an astonishing 4-3 win that came after falling behind 3-0 in the first period. It's understandable, then, that the story led off the 10:00 news on Miami's WSVN; perhaps unaccustomed to hockey success, they got a few details...
When A $125 Loan Denial Results In Wielded Knives: A Witness's Account
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Epic girl fight! Parenting fail. Shocking woman pulls a knife with child watching." Tonight's commentator: Steve Spell II, proprietor at The Float Dog LLC in Hammond, ...
Finance Guy Keeps Incredibly Detailed, Incredibly Creepy Spreadsheet Of His Match.com Prospects
Let's call this guy, oh, "Dave." Dave is a financial services employee in New York. Dave goes on Match.com, and meets women, and sometimes goes on dates with them. Then Dave goes home and enters all sorts of information into an Excel sheet, to keep track of everyone....
How Jerry Sandusky's Book, <em>Touched</em>, Led Investigators To Other Possible Victims
Excerpted from Game Over: Jerry Sandusky, Penn State, and the Culture of Silence, which is out today....
![Todd Bertuzzi, Ping Pong Enforcer [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17jvco9lcokgfjpg.jpg)
Todd Bertuzzi, Ping Pong Enforcer [UPDATE]
The feud between the Red Wings and Predators that began when Shea Weber smacked Henrik Zetterberg's head off the turnbuckle glass at the end of Game 1 has extended all the way to table tennis. At Joe Louis Arena, there's a ping pong table in the hallway between the home and visitors locker rooms. An...
Here's The Only Woman In New York Unimpressed By Derek Jeter
The Yankees fell to .500 on the season with a 7-3 home loss to Minnesota last night, though Derek Jeter continued his hot hitting with two knocks—including a leadoff homer in the bottom of the first. All that, though, wasn't enough to impress this lass in the Legend Seats....
Delonte West Earned A Technical Foul For Giving Gordon Hayward A Wet Willie
Delonte West's been a source of our amusement for some time, but his antics have run him afoul of the law—and NBA referees—more often than not. He somehow escaped ejection for tonight's shenanigans, in which he shoved a finger in Jazz swingman Gordon Hayward's ear in the second quarter of the Dal...
Palm Beach High School Baseball Player Suspended For Soaking Visiting Dugout In Urine Before Crosstown Rivals Arrived
From the Palm Beach Post comes word of gamesmanship. Foul, fetid gamesmanship....
24-Year-Old Sara Ganim Won The Pulitzer Prize For Her Coverage Of The Penn State Scandal
We've cited her work on many, many occasions as part of our own coverage of the Jerry Sandusky story—and with good reason, since she was often several steps ahead of every other reporter as events unfolded. A crime reporter for the Patriot-News of Harrisburg (Pa.) and a 2008 Penn State graduate, Gan...
On NHL Suspensions And Eggshell Skulls
Shea Weber shoves Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass: fine, no suspension. Byron Bitz hits Kyle Clifford from behind, sending him into the boards: two-game suspension. Matt Carkner sucker punches Brian Boyle, continuing to hit him after he goes down: one-game suspension. Carl Hagelin elbows Da...
There Was A Clown In Courtside Seats At MSG Yesterday, And For Once It Wasn't Donald Trump
Despite another strong game from Carmelo Anthony, the New York Knicks dropped their third straight this season to the Heat yesterday 93-85, a result we're sure put a sad face on all Knicks fans in attendance—at least those who didn't, you know, show up with a face already painted on....
Did Branch Rickey Sell Out Jackie Robinson?
Today Major League Baseball will do what it does best and celebrate its history. Today is Jackie Robinson Day and he will be rightfully honored in ballparks across the country. It is perhaps the quintessential baseball celebration: fond, sepia-toned remembrances that obscure reality. Some memories,...
Bearded Batman Drinks Heineken, Probably Does Not Fight Crime
So Batman's a hockey fan, and definitely not the Lamborghini Batman or the Michigan Batman, at least today. But lest you forget, you better believe he's The Goddamn Batman....
Just For Yu: Your Saturday MLB Open Thread
It's a lovely spring afternoon in April, and that means a full slate of MLB games. Yu Darvish has already thrown 27 fewer first inning pitches against the Twins than in his first start of the year. The Machine and his Angels are in the Bronx against the Yankees. Later today, the Rays play the Sox in...
History Lesson: The Time Matt Millen Punched The Patriots' General Manager In The Head
An occasional feature in which we recall notable incidents that we would've covered the hell out of had we existed at the time....