da Page 974 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Denard Robinson Took Just 21 Seconds To Lead Michigan's 80-Yard Game-Winning Drive Over Notre Dame
Your morning roundup for Sept. 11, a day to remember those we lost. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Daniel Snyder Finally Dismisses His Dumbass Libel Lawsuit Against The Washington City Paper
Let this serve as We Are All Dave McKenna CCXVIII ......

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Notre Dame at Michigan. First night game at the Big House. Should be fun, provided the stadium evacuations are kept to a minimum (ESPN, 8 p.m.)...

Brian Kelly Gets The "U Mad Bro?" College GameDay Sign Treatment
If Notre Dame's coach is mad, bro, Kirk Herbstreit ain't sayin', bro. Also, this:...

Your U.S. Open Semifinals Open Thread
Weather permitting — and it's expected to do just that — both the men's and women's semifinals will be played in Flushing Meadows, NY today....

At Least Four Arizona State Fans Went To Last Night's Game In Blackface
Your morning roundup for Sept. 10, a day when it's apparently illegal for wannabe vampires to bite homeless men outside the neighborhood Hooters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Welcome To Green Bay, Randall Cobb. How About A Handjob?
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 9, the day Steve Jobs did not die. H/T to Drew for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Grantland Republished David Foster Wallace's Epic 2006 Essay on Roger Federer, And You Should Go Read It Now
The late author's profile, written for the now-defunct Play, "constituted a dream pairing of writer and subject" that "still stands as one of the most stirring, illuminating essays ever written about the beauty of sport at its highest level," according to the Grantland introduction provided by Mich...

LeBron Introduces The World To His Sister LeBre'sha, Who Is Actually Just LeBron In Drag
It's that time of year here in New York City, when the rich people frolic through the streets in designer clothing more often than usual and pretend to watch tennis at the U.S. Open: Fashion Week is here!...

Joe Morgan Will Lead The World's Largest Chicken Dance For Cincinnati's Oktoberfest
We—all of us, here with our computers and our calculators and our Moneyballs—fired Joe Morgan from ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball last year. Poor Joe now toils in the Cincinnati Reds front office, advising Walt Jocketty on which mediocre outfielder has the most hustle. ("It might be Chris Heisey, but ...

Football Coach Says His Team "Don't Need No Meows, No Cats" In Presser Of The Year
David Bennett, head coach of the football team at Coastal Carolina, relayed a message for his team in a press conference on Wednesday. We've transcribed it below so that you can more clearly follow his logic:...

Dan Snyder Is Suing <em>Washington City Paper</em> Over A Story He Has Never Read, Because Dan Snyder Is A Prick
Here's proof that Dan Snyder, the Redskins' churlish little shitbag vulgarian of an owner, runs a lawsuit the way he runs a football team. From a Q&A with The New York Times Magazine:...

SprtsCntr: There Is Only The NFL
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Reports Of NFL Special-Teams Excitement's Demise Were Probably Premature
As you can see from this video compiled by new guy Conor Hastings, Darren Sproles of the New Orleans Saints returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown tonight. Shortly thereafter, Green Bay Packers rookie Randall Cobb did the same with a 108-yard kickoff return. To which Sproles said oh, ok, I'll ge...

George W. Bush Will Narrate A Two-Minute Intro To An NFL Pregame Show On 9/11, And Not The Ones On CBS, NBC, Or ESPN
Via Deitsch: "Been told former President George W. Bush will narrate a 2-minute opening for Fox NFL Sunday on Sept. 11 at 12PM."...

Panthers' New Cornerback Learns He's The Panthers' New Cornerback From Twitter
"Darius Butler had been an ex-Patriot for only a couple of hours Tuesday when he jumped on Twitter and learned he had a new team. 'People started tweeting me and started welcoming me' to Carolina, said Butler..." [Charlotte Observer]...

The Dumbass Who Blamed Bryan Stow For Getting Beaten Into A Coma Wants To Watch Michael Vick Blow His Knees Out
Writes dumbass John Steigerwald about Michael Vick's $100 million contract, "Here's hoping he blows out his knee on his next snap."...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Saddled with an opening week loss that was blamed on referees and/or improper footwear, the Knox City Greyhounds needed something big to happen....

Pat White Now Joins A Storied History Of Mid-2000s West Virginia Football Failures
There's something that's a little dispiriting about what's happened to the 2005 West Virginia Mountaineers. Back then, they went 11-1, winning the Big East and the Sugar Bowl. Rich Rodriguez was their offensive whiz head coach, and Steve Slaton and Pat White made up the fastest backfield in college ...

Apologies To Andrés Cantor, But Mountain Biking Announcers Are The Craziest
Young Briton Danny Hart obliterated the best downhill mountain bikers by nearly 12 seconds this weekend at the world championships in Champery, Switzerland. Normally, Hart's performance would soon retreat back into the shadow world that is downhill mountain biking. But no. Not this day. Not if com...