da Page 976 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Boston Pro Lacrosse Team With A Mascot Who Loved Lap Dances Has Suspended Operations
Boston Blazers President and GM Doug Reffue announced — in a letter to "the Blazers community" on the team website — that the three-year-old National Lacrosse League franchise was temporarily closing up shop. They're looking "both locally and nationally" for a new home for the 2013 season....

This Tip About Scantily Clad German Soccer Ladies Totally Buried The Lede
Anybody with a set of eyes would surely agree that that picture of "Mona of BV Sturm Wissel" is a compelling image. In and of itself, it justifies tipster Tomuban's signal to check out a "Women footballers heat up the pitch for [sexy 2012 pin-up] calendar" link....

Turns Out Ohio State Is Not Done Suspending Its Players For Minor Infractions
According to Doug Lesmerises of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, tOSU will make running back Jordan Hall, corner Travis Howard, and safety Corey Brown sit out its first game against Akron. You guessed it: "impermissible benefits of $300 or less at a charity event earlier this year." [@PDBuckeyes]...

Welcome Back To College Football, Where God's Away On Business
Spencer Hall at Every Day Should Be Saturday has published his annual ode to college football, and this one's a haunted, Tom Waits-y doozy, in accordance with the NCAA's summer of scandal....

Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...

The Guy Who Wanted To Own The Mets, Like Everyone Else Ever Involved With The Team, Has Quit On The Mets
David Einhorn, the baby-faced assassin who would be extorting the snakebitten Wilpons all the way to the bank, will not be controlling the Mets for a dollar. He will not, in fact, own any part of the Mets....

SprtsCntr: Did You Know ESPN Airs College Football?
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

This Is What Team Deadspin Looked Like At Last Night's Company Outing To The Mets Game
Your morning roundup for Sept. 1, the day we learned how to make it rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Pregnant Man Is Very Upset With Chaz Bono
Where to begin? Ok, the cast....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
As you probably already know, the Knox City Greyhounds lost their season opener to Crowell 47-36....

Wade Belak, Another NHL Enforcer, Found Dead (UPDATE: A Suicide, According To <em>Toronto Sun</em>)
Longtime NHL defenseman Wade Belak, who spent much of his career with the Maple Leafs, was found dead at 35 today in his Toronto hotel, according to a report from QMI Agency in Canada....

Darren Rovell's New Studio Show Has A Sideline Reporter
Everyone meet Erin Sharoni, of whom talking haircut Darren Rovell tweeted earlier today:...

Insights Gleaned From Watching The Blurry LSU Fight Video Way Too Many Times
First watch the above video, a news report featuring surveillance video at Shady's bar. Then take a look at the one below, which purports to be cell phone footage of the actual brawl....

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Your Complete Source For Complete Yankees Complete Red Sox Completely
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

You Still Can't Look At A Danny Woodhead Press Conference Photo Without Thinking "Awww..."
Don't worry: Danny says his head still feels fine and he will scamper his way into the back-pocket of America again real soon. Aww. [Rich Eisen]...

Watch Lee Corso Try To Talk With His Mouth Full Of Grass
This is an outtake from the promos ESPN's shot for College Gameday, featuring analyst Lee Corso and LSU boss Les Miles. Strangely, it's no less informative than the real thing....

Dad Of The Year Referees Son's Street Fight, Attacks Kid After Son Loses
Before we dive in, let's play Ohio Or Florida! It's Florida....

Yes, Anderson Silva Is Being Likened To Muhammad Ali...
And Michael Jordan. And Wayne Gretzky. Okay, fine. Anderson Silva is a great athlete. He mauled Yushin Okami last weekend at UFC 134. But Ali, Jordan, and Gretzky rolled into one? Come now. Come. Let us not forget that a year ago, Silva was the one getting mauled for five rounds by Chael Sonnen unti...

Wow, LSU Players Really Fucked Up Those Guys In The Shady's Parking Lot (Allegedly)
When we brought you photos of Andrew Lowery, the Marine beaten up outside a Baton Rouge bar, it looked ugly: cuts, bruises, blood. When we brought you the police report, it sounded ugly: a man dragged from his vehicle, Lowery kicked in the face. But the medical reports are in, and it's uglier than w...

A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...