da Page 977 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yes, Anderson Silva Is Being Likened To Muhammad Ali...
And Michael Jordan. And Wayne Gretzky. Okay, fine. Anderson Silva is a great athlete. He mauled Yushin Okami last weekend at UFC 134. But Ali, Jordan, and Gretzky rolled into one? Come now. Come. Let us not forget that a year ago, Silva was the one getting mauled for five rounds by Chael Sonnen unti...

Wow, LSU Players Really Fucked Up Those Guys In The Shady's Parking Lot (Allegedly)
When we brought you photos of Andrew Lowery, the Marine beaten up outside a Baton Rouge bar, it looked ugly: cuts, bruises, blood. When we brought you the police report, it sounded ugly: a man dragged from his vehicle, Lowery kicked in the face. But the medical reports are in, and it's uglier than w...

A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Yankees-Freaking-Red Sox; Also, Herm Edwards Is Still Yelling
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Why Is Bill Belichick Stockpiling Mediocre Former Jets This Offseason?
The Patriots have a thing for acquiring former Jets to play small roles on their team. (The Jets sometimes do the same thing.) We wonder why....

The Medical Board Says David Chao Is A Drunk. Former Patients Say He's A Quack. Why Is He An NFL Team Doctor?
The DEA says Dr. David Chao wrote himself illegal prescriptions more than a hundred times between 2008 and 2010. The California state medical board says he's an alcoholic and needs psychiatric help. Four former football players have sued Chao for malpractice, claiming he ended or shortened their car...

Nick Saban Was A Dick To Will Muschamp's Poor Mother
With college football—nay, SEC football— arriving this weekend, and without great expectations for the Gators, it's time for the Palm Beach Post to stoke our football interest by apprising us of blood feuds....

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Herm Edwards Has A Lot of Yelling To Catch Up On
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

David Price Has 12 K's Through Five Innings Against The Blue Jays. You Should Probably Watch.
Via ESPN Stats & Info: "David Price: 12 K through 5 IP. That matches what Clemens had through 5 IP in each of his two 20-K 9-IP games and 1 more than Wood thru 5 IP."...

Brave TV Reporter Gets A Mouthful Of Sewage-Seasoned Sea Foam To Seize The Big Story
Your morning roundup for Aug. 28, the day we give a shout out to aquatic fleas. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Want more Tucker Barnes? Here.)...

Brandon Davies's Sexual Punishment Has Officially Ended While Jimmer's Has Just Begun
BYU announced yesterday that it reinstated Brandon Davies to its basketball team and to engage in its academic offerings. He'd been suspended since March for an "honor code violation" in which "honor code violation" means engaging in sexual intercourse with his girlfriend....

Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pray For Darren Rovell And His Hair To Survive Hurricane Irene
Rovell, CNBC's business reporter, tweets like the battle-weary Marine that he isn't:...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Vick, Yankees, And Other Things You Rarely Hear About
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

It's Probably Not As "Record Breaking" To Hit Three Grand Slams In A Game If Strikes Are Called Balls
ESPN.com chose to lead its website with the Yankees 22-9 win over the A's this afternoon. Specifically, they highlighted the Yankees "record three slams in romp." This is noteworthy since it's the first such trifecta in MLB history. One for the ages....

This Evening: That Sign Behind Home Plate Sums It Up
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 25, the day we discovered beef jerky potato chips. H/T to Dan for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Police Release Initial Report Of LSU Bar Fight, Jordan Jefferson Figures Prominently
Baton Rouge police have published the initial incident report from the officer responding to Friday morning's parking lot brawl. You can read the entire thing below. It contains the statements of the 21-year-old Marine who was bloodied and bruised, as well as a female witness who appears to corrobor...

With Zero Redeeming News Value, Here Are Some Glamour Shots Of Logan Morrison (And Ladyfriend)
There is a lesson in here somewhere, if you look hard enough....

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Authorities Investigate LSU QB, LSU Investigates Other QB Options
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
