da Page 995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lady Gaga Won’t Empower You For Shit
I don't quite know when Lady Gaga evolved from talented pop star into the world's least convincing self-help guru, but that shit needs to stop immediately. ...
Djokovic-Federer Had Nothing On Christ-Satan, Says Writer Who Is Not Joking
"The match between Djokovic and Federer in New York was quite a spectacle, but it was nothing compared to Christ's victory over sin and death and Satan. 'And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.' (Colossians 2:15) Memo to ...
SprtsCntr: Coming To You Live From Michael Vick's Hippocampus
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Logan Morrison Would Like To Borrow Your Black Flag T-Shirt
Your morning roundup for Sept. 22, the day we learned live trees make great ancient bridges. Photo via @Jimmy Traina. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
When KFDX from Wichita Falls, Texas needed someone to shout-out the big Knox City/Newcastle game last weekend, they knew Chad McGhee was the man for them....
Fox NFL Sunday Analysts Are Really, Totally Not Transparently Excited About <em>The X Factor</em>
From today's Twitter postings:...
How Dan Snyder Is The Elvis Of NFL Owners
Yes, you may have read recently that Washington Redskins owner dismissed his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper after admitting that he had never read the story in question. Craggs suggested this was because Dan Snyder was a "churlish little shitbag vulgarian." But perhaps he is...
A Handy Timeline Guide To The Ongoing Hack-A-Shaq Saga
A reader, who only wants credit to go to "Colin," has sent in this exhaustive guide to the Hack-A-Shaq saga that we've been dutifully (and somewhat regrettably) following for the past few weeks. We found this version—in familiar brick free-throw form (with artistic liberties taken as regards to his ...
Metta World Peace's "Stiff Cha-Cha" Doesn't Get Past The First Round Of DWTS
Not content to spend the lockout doing "hasty and shapeless" stand-up comedy, The Dong Texter Formerly Known As Ron Artest has gone one-and-done on "Dancing With The Stars." If you wish, feel free to view his effort here. The Los Angeles Times said his was a "stiff cha-cha" that was simultaneously ...
SprtsCntr: Jonathan Papelbon Fails Amid A Swarm of Clichés
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Michael Jordan's Golf Bag Would Like To Inform You That Michael Jordan Has Six Rings
Michael Jordan's golf bag would also like to inform you that he has a Nike brand that you may have seen somewhere. Have you seen it? It's OK if you haven't seen it, because the logo is right there, on his golf bag—right above the six NBA championship rings he won with the Chicago Bulls. (Maybe you d...
There Was A Pretty Nice Goal In Today's Real Sociedad/Granada La Liga Match
Daniel Estrada's game-winning goal for Real Sociedad in today's La Liga match didn't exactly defy the laws of physics, but it took an odd enough path to paydirt that it's worth a slo-mo look....
The Marlins Went Ahead And Misspelled Logan Morrison's Name On The Jumbotron Tonight
The Florida Marlins claimed a paid attendance of 21,733 for tonight's 4-0 loss to the Atlanta Braves. They also spelled left fielder Logan Morrison's last name as "Morrsion" on the big board at the stadium....
Purple Drank And The Secret Of NFL Quarterbacking
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Former IT Guy "Will Ruin Shaq," One Embarrassing Leak At A Time
If you can keep track of the Miami New Times's Hack-a-Shaq saga, then we salute you. It is an overlapping jumbled mess of blackmailing and threats and nearly indecipherable text messages. We tried drawing a visual aid for all of the accusations cataloged here, but we gave up, because there are, like...
SprtsCntr: All New York, All The Time
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Ah Yes, The Old "Off The Back Of The Defender's Skull" Own Goal
In keeping with our mission to bring you the latest in Midwestern religious college soccer, we happily present a moment from this weekend's Oklahoma Baptist-MidAmerica Nazarene showdown. The OBU Bison keeper will be seeing this one in his dreams for a while, but we're particularly taken with the c...
Mike Stanton Hit The Ball About 900 Feet Last Night
The Marlins don't do distance estimates, so we'll never know precisely how dead Stanton killed the ball. But rest assured, he killed it very dead....
Giants LB Michael Boley Celebrates His Return TD By Whipping The Ball At Some Dude's Face
Whatever godforsaken gig has this guy standing on the sidelines—an innocent victim, forced into Boley's warpath—I hope like hell he's getting paid for it....
Your Monday Night Football Open Thread
Hakeem Nicks is likely to play; Steven Jackson will not. So it's Cadillac time in the Meadowlands! The Rams and the Giants both had hopes of competing this year, and one of them is going to have a lot less hope once this is done....