da Page 997 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna XCVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a torpedo to the ammunition hold....

A Panicky Column About The Scandalous Thing Serena Williams Just Did
Serena Williams did a scandalous thing recently. That she did something scandalous is no surprise; that she did something this scandalous is truly shocking....

Miami Hurricanes Message Board Poster Complains About Other Users Being Mean To Him
We like to stay out of the frightening world of college football message boards. But Danny has some things he'd like to clear up for you and the rest of the CanesTime community....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is slipped the cyanide pill....

Alabama Football Player Found Dead; <em>ESPN Insider</em> Has The Story On Which Player Can Best Replace Him
The University of Alabama has confirmed that Aaron Douglas, an offensive lineman, was found dead in Florida this morning. There are no more details regarding the nature of his death, but ESPN Insider's Albert Lin is ahead of the news in some awful way: earlier this afternoon, the "Rumor Central" wri...

MLS Rivalry That No One Cares About Takes To The Highway
Billboards! We love billboards. Love it when someone has something so important to say, they can't afford to run the risk of not telling a passing motorist....

Michael Vick's Dog Receives Key To The City
Back in February, when folks in Dallas were outraged that the city's Mayor Pro Tem had awarded Michael Vick with a key to the city that, he explained, was really "for the children," the Dallas Observer ran the headline that included the phrase, "As It Turns Out, Anybody Can Get a Key to the City of ...

How Bartolo Colon's Fat Ass Resurrected His Career
A Dominican medical team designed a rejuvenation treatment, in which they'd inject stem cells into the pitching arm, for Pedro Martinez. He turned them down. Bartolo Colon didn't....

Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....

Some People Are Lobbying To Make Pole Dancing An Olympic "Test Sport"
Thus far, at the behest of the "Vertical Dance lobby," nearly 6,000 people "have read the Get Pole Dance Accepted into the Olympics Petition to International Olympic Committee, and I hereby sign the petition." Here's an excerpt:...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...

Lamar Odom Turns To Video Games For His Hoop Dreams
OK, maybe this is rock bottom for Page 2, but there's an excellent mental image in here: Lamar Odom last week playing as Lamar Odom in NBA 2K11 against the Mavericks, and his opponent letting him win....

Big Baby Enters The Mirror Stage
Glen Davis had the opportunity this season — after the Celtics traded away Kendrick Perkins and while Shaq enjoys a paycheck and a warm seat as he eases into retirement — to earn real minutes and to anchor the second unit. He tried. He averaged about thirty minutes per game during the regular season...

Why Hockey Has Gone Totally Gay For The Latest Homophobia Debate
Hockey, for a sport that's nominally proactive in areas ranging from replay to concussions, has never been especially progressive. No one expects the openly gay pro athlete, the inevitable big story for the next decade, to come from the NHL. While other leagues have John Amaechi and Billy Bean and E...

Today In Stories You Don't Have To Read Past The Headline
"Knife Wielding Robber Takes Bobble Head." [NBC Bay Area]...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is consumed by the fires of justice in DC Superior Court, where fires of justice occasionally erupt, possibly in trash cans reserved for frivo...

You Can Usually Spot The Season Ticket Holders
[via StripClubWithStanton, h/t Smoot]...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is walked to slaughter under an angry moon....

Frankie Edgar, Gray Maynard Get Injured And Pull Out Of UFC 130 Right As UFC Announces It Will Pay For Injury Insurance
Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard called off their May 28 lightweight championship rematch today after Edgar revealed he had hurt ribs and Maynard said he'd messed up his knee. Far be it from this blogger to question the timing of these injury announcements, but they do come on the same day that the UF...

MLS Salaries Make No Secret Of MLS Plan To Create NY-LA Rivalry
In MLS Commissioner Don Garber's perfect world, the two biggest markets in the country would have the two best teams. These teams would, of course, be the New York Red Bulls and the LA Galaxy. They would be better than the other teams but not so much better that fans in smaller markets would give up...