dad Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jellyfish Are Assholes<em></em><em></em>
I just wanna swim in peace. That’s all I want. I want all the creatures of the sea to get along and coexist in harmony so that I might responsibly frolic in the earth’s panoply of crystalline bodies of water: lakes, oceans, streams, rivers, and such and such....
Kings Draftee's Father Is A Fiery, Irrepressible Twitter Troll
Last night, the Sacramento Kings selected Georgios Papagiannis with the 13th pick in the NBA Draft. The Kings, who have two guards under contract, passed on the only prospect to work out for them (Wade Baldwin) to draft a player who ESPN had going in the second round and Draft Express ranked as the ...
Our Parents Like Steph Curry's Shoes
I spoke too soon when I said that only Seth Curry and my dad appreciated Steph Curry’s white-on-white Under Armour professional lawn mowing shoes. The Deadspin staff surveyed their parents, and most of them had positive reactions. ...
How Not To Lose Friends To Parenthood
There’s an idea that parallel universes exist simultaneously, and every possible outcome of every event in history is happening within them. If this is right, then somewhere in time and space, Dez Bryant made that catch, baby Donald Trump died of SIDS, 9/11 wasn’t an inside job and Rougned Odor stil...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Jake And The Neverland Pirates</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. ...
How To Fly With Young Children
It is a known fact that flight attendants are among the perkiest, cheeriest, bubbliest human beings on the planet. But have you ever wondered why?...
A Young Parent’s Guide To Raffi
The day starts well enough: no hangover, no fighting before bedtime, no crying from the nursery, no staring through the darkness at indeterminate hours wondering in what direction, if any, my life is headed....
Here It Is, The Bicycle Kick To End All Bicycle Kicks
That Javi Gómez, of third division Spanish club UD Socuéllamos, managed to score with this insane, volleyed overhead kick is crazy enough. But that he even thought to shoot there, when probably no one in the world save maybe Zlatan Ibrahimović would’ve considered it, makes it all the more spectacula...
Adrian Beltre Won't Stand For Elvis Andrus's Lollygagging
Time to check in with Elvis Andrus and Adrian Beltre, the greatest comedic duo in sports....
The Dadspin Explainer: Hitler
Here at Dadspin, we understand how difficult it is to explain certain subjects to your children. This is why we’ve created Dadspin Explainer, a handy running guide to teaching your children about really horrible shit. ...
The Best Places To Urinate Outside, Ranked
Before we get deep into the bowels of the Funbag, one quick note: I’m out next week on Spring Break with my kids. This will not be like your Spring Break. Your Spring Break will be in Lake Havasu surrounded by fruity drinks and horny twentysomethings. I, on the other hand, will be stuck in Virginia ...
Carlos Vela Fined €100K For Blowing Off Practice After Chris Brown Concert
Real Sociedad forward and sometimes Mexico international Carlos Vela found himself torn between his love and his livelihood a couple weeks back, and his solution to the conundrum has now literally cost him a pretty penny....
Warriors Games Should Be On Earlier, Dammit
As you’re probably aware, the Golden State Warriors are currently 57-6 and have a legit shot at beating the NBA’s single-season win record. They’re the sort of once-in-a-lifetime superteam that has captured the imaginations of diehards and casual fans alike, and I would very much like to watch them ...
A Proud Parent's Guide To Dominating Girl Scout Cookie Season
For all the fathers and mothers out there, when Girl Scout Cookie season rolls around, your first and foremost emotion should be relief. It could be worse: You could be dealing with a Boy Scout instead. Those poor saps have to sell popcorn. It’s clearly an inferior product. Everyone loves cookies!...
Dada 5000's Camp Calls Joe Rogan's "Fried Chicken And Orange Soda" Comment "Overtly Racist"
Saturday’s Bellator fight between Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson and Dhafir “Dada 5000" Harris went from farcical to concerning after reports came out that Harris’s heart had stopped after the bout. ...
Report: Dada 5000 Was In Critical Condition And His Heart Stopped After Kimbo Slice Knocked Him Out
Dhafir Harris, aka Dada 5000, was stretchered out of the ring yesterday after Kimbo Slice knocked him out in the third round (or more accurately, after he just sort of woozily collapsed and fell down). It was a strange ending to a strange fight, the line on which moved all the way to a pick ‘em afte...
Kimbo Slice Vs. Dada 5000 Match Ends In Predictably Hilarious, Stupid Fashion
Tonight’s much-hyped Bellator match between Kimbo Slice and Dada 5000 ended the way you probably expected: with one of the fighters being knocked out by his own girth and being stretchered out of the ring....
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>PAW Patrol</i>
It’s time once again for our ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours....