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Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Mickey Mouse Clubhouse </i>
It’s time once again for our ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours....
Kendall Marshall's Dad Thinks The Sixers Are Racist And A Joke
Veteran point guard Kendall Marshall recently joined the Philadelphia 76ers’ active roster after recovering from an offseason knee surgery. At the time of Marshall’s return, GM Sam Hinkie put forward a theory that the team would have gotten off to a much better start had Marshall’s steady hand been ...
What Our Parents Thought Of Deadspin In 2015
The writers at Deadspin asked their moms and dads what they thought of the site in 2015. Here are their unedited responses....
Soccer Teen's Dad Tries To Sabotage Son's Move To Liverpool By Hiding His Passport
Despite the old adage “father knows best,” there comes a time in every child’s life when they are old enough to make their own decisions. At that point, father’s wisdom and guidance becomes less a mandate from your boss and more a word of advice to be weighed as lightly or heavily as the budding adu...
Great Gift Ideas For Children You Despise
I bet you know some bad kids. Not your kids. Your kids are lovely, imaginative, super-athletic, and smart as a whip. I’m talking about your step-sister’s kids and your boss’s kids and the kids on your son’s soccer team and those kids who always end up hurting someone at the neighborhood block partie...
Oklahoma State Basketball Coach Travis Ford Ejected From Son's High School Game
So, Oklahoma State University men’s basketball coach Travis Ford was kicked out of his son Brooks’s high school basketball game yesterday, and that’s pretty funny, if perhaps unremarkable. This sounds like any run-of-the-mill Too Raw Sports Dad story, where a probably bad parent got too fired up liv...
A Divorced Dad’s Budget Guide To Mealplanning
I’m a child of a broken home. Before they split, my broke-ass parents had a couple nickels to rub together; afterward, a lonesome nickel did little to fill up the pantry in my dad’s house, and he had just enough ignorant confidence in the kitchen to get himself into trouble. The dishes he created we...
Jim Gaffigan Explains How The Heck He Travels With Five Kids
Comedian Jim Gaffigan and his wife Jeannie live in a two-bedroom New York City apartment with their five freaking kids. If that sounds like too much for you, wait until you hear that they regularly take the whole brood on the road. They once spent a summer together in a bus for Dad’s cross-country s...
Do Not Post Naked Pictures Of Your Toddler On Facebook
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How To Survive A Long Car Trip With Your Kids
It’s that time of year. Time to visit those weird, faraway relatives in weird, faraway places, where the Target and the Costco and the Whole Foods are all switched around. It’s time to roll down hundreds of miles of dear old Ike’s eight-lane American dream, leaving one suburban hellscape for another...
Cris Carter, Lame Dad Who Doesn't Know What Dabbing Is, Defines Dabbing
Okay, so we’re now into the third day of talking about Cam Newton dabbin’ on dem folk and this morning on Mike and Mike, Mike Greenberg and Cris Carter discussed what dabbing is. Greenberg, a lame dad, wasn’t familiar with the dance, so he asked Carter. Carter, himself a lame dad, wasn’t familiar wi...
Aziz Ansari Has A Very Good Dad
By now you may have heard that Aziz Ansari’s real-life mom and dad act alongside him as his TV parents in his new Netflix series, Master of None. They steal the show, in fact, and you can tell Aziz is eating it up, because last night he shared the Late Show With Stephen Colbert stage with his dad. I...
Fired Junior Hockey Coaches Rehired After Entire Team Quits In Protest
Parents of youth athletes are notorious for carping about how little playing time precious Madison and Hunter are receiving, complaining to the coach and yelling from the stands. But rarely does a parent own the team their kid plays on, and even more rarely do they fire the entire coaching staff to ...
The Xbox One Is Garbage And The Future Is Bullshit
Here is an embarrassing story about a bad purchase....
Mark Davis Travels 500 Fucking Miles To Look Like That!
Probably no haircut in human history has communicated as devastating a summation of its owner’s entire life as the insane orange Moe Howard bowl cut sported by Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis. Carve the shape of it into the wall of his father Al Davis’s mausoleum and it will tell a richer and truer...
How To Take Your Kids Backpacking
I am unable to take a vacation. I go on vacations, but the idea of just sitting around doing nothing is pure torture. On our honeymoon, I made my new bride go on a canoe trip, which ended poorly when I paddled her directly into a scraggly bush overhanging the riverbank. Our first fight as a married ...
Check Out This Dad Playing Sports
This video of a dad named Randy playing sports is perfect, so you should watch it....
Fuck Winning
I do not think that the world is in any danger of running out of people who believe winning is the only thing worth feeling good about. I think the world has absorbed Vince Lombardi’s deranged ethic quite well....
Dad Attempts To Retrieve Home Run Ball While Holding Child, Fails Miserably
Attempting to catch a baseball while holding a child is a risky proposition. It can make you look like a suspect parent who is also a super-cool badass if pulled off properly, but it can also make you look like a suspect parent who is not at all cool if the opportunity is flubbed. This guy falls int...