dadspin Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Household Chores: A Dadspin Ranking And Guide
Chores never end. That's why they're chores. You would think, after a long night scrubbing pots and pans until the skin begins to peel off your hands, that such an effort would absolve you from ever having to wash another dish again. YOU ARE WRONG. There will be more dishes to rinse or clean mere MI...
Taste Test: The Portable Yogurt That Isn't
Go-Gurt's charmingly daft, hilariously unappetizing name implies its creation myth: the notion that, out there in the world, there were consumers who liked feeding their kids delicious, nutritious yogurt, but were frustrated by its cripplingly immobile nature—"I need a portable, on-the-go yogurt!" ...
The Boy On The Edge Of The Bathtub: Sam Lipsyte On Growing Up A Sportswriter's Son
Whenever somebody makes the connection between my father, Robert Lipsyte, the legendary sportswriter, and me (usually because Lipsyte is a rare name, unique to our family, a family that may or may not include a Lithuanian paratrooper I once found online who boasted in emails about our fierce mountai...
How-To's, Restorative Milkshakes, And A Ranked List Of Meats: The Year In Foodspin
Deadspin had a bountiful year in the consideration of, eating, cooking, asking about, and taking solace in food. We also received it in the mail, once. Relive our gastronomic experiments as if they were all just one big burp, below....
Down With Toy Apartheid: The Gender Apocalypse Of The Playroom Can't Come Soon Enough
Every toy is in some sense educational, though we tend not to think about this much while buying toys, and people always become excited when there's a struggle over the curriculum. So last week, in response to a protest campaign, Hasbro announced that it would be expanding its Easy-Bake Oven line: I...
Does <em>A Charlie Brown Christmas</em> Suck? A Very Deadspin Debate
It's Christmastime again, and, as such, your TV will be running some Peanuts specials throughout this week and weekend. If you have kids, you may not be able to escape them—the specials, that is. Could it be worse? We debated the matter last year:...
The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents
Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...
Name The Royal Baby!
I have no idea what the protocol is for naming an heir to throne of England. I assume that Prince William and Kate Middleton are free to think up names as they please, before the queen walks in with a terrifying grimace and her dumb corgis and politely tells the couple that none of their names will ...
How To Carve A Pumpkin: A Guide For Terrible, Drunk Parents
It's Halloween, which means that it's time to dress your children up in cosplay costumes and send them out into a dark neighborhood, asking neighbors for things to put inside their mouths. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Anyway, before trick-or-treating, you have to buy a pumpkin and carve it. That t...
How To Eat Halloween Candy: A Guide And A Power Ranking For Sad Adults
That the Snickers bar is the best of all candy bars is a point so obvious and unassailable that it needn't be argued here. What's odd and paradoxical-seeming, and thus noteworthy, is that its superiority is the precise reason why the Snickers is not the best candy bar for Halloween. That is to say, ...
Do Not Touch Daddy's Electronics
When I was 6 years old, my dad was an avid collector of hi-fi equipment. He had an entire bookcase filled with all kinds of boxy hi-fi pieces, each one featuring hundreds of switches and knobs and dials and all kinds of crazy shit that helped you hear every possible sound inside a recording studio, ...
How To Sleep Train A Selfish Baby
When you have a new child, you have only one priority in life, one that takes precedence over procuring food, finding a job, or anything else: getting the child to sleep through the night. Everything you do with a baby beforehand—feeding it, putting it on a schedule, repeatedly throwing the baby up ...
Hey, America, Don't Let Your Children Shit At Restaurant Tables
Here's a fun little news item: a Utah woman named Kimberley Decker took her kids out to eat and snapped a photo of a nearby family toilet-training their kids right at the dinner table. Instead of having their kids sit on booster seats, the mother had them sitting on portable toilets, so that they co...
FUCK YEAH! IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
Holy shit! It's here! It's finally here! The first day of school! SOMEONE PINCH ME ON THE ASS SO I KNOW IT'S REAL!...
Sippy Cups Can Go To Hell
I'm going to a wedding this weekend and I noticed that, as you grow older, you come full circle on weddings. The first time you go to a wedding in your 20s, you're like, "Oh cool, a wedding! FREE BOOZE AND SHIT!" But then everyone has that one summer where they have to go to eight weddings and by th...
If Your Baby Needs A Baby Helmet, Buy Your Baby A Baby Helmet
I'm looking at the Amazon product reviews for the Thudguard Baby Safety Helmet, and as I do with most products, I'm focusing on the one-star reviews. What's the worst case? What are the satisfied customers overlooking? ...
Stop Filming Your Kids Crying Over Sports
Here's a little girl in tears over Ichiro Suzuki being traded away from the Seattle Mariners. We've been sent this video a few times, and we'll take the chance to address this now, rather than respond to each individually: We don't care about your or anyone else's little kids crying over sports....
American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse
My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave of...
Know Your RedTube, And Other Advice: The Dadspin Guide To Internet Parenting
I have three children, the oldest of whom is web literate. She can work a mouse. She can open Chrome. She can type. And she can Google shit, which is terrifying because you never know when Google Image Search will decide to hand you an image of a big hairy penis, even if you're using the default MOD...
No, I Will Not Fix The Overflowing Toilet Today: The Dadspin Father's Day Manifesto
Father's Day is a con. Every year, I expect to have a Father Day's filled with unlimited blackjack and gunfire-scented cologne, and every year it ends up being like every other goddamn NFL-free Sunday in existence. Father's Day is supposed to be MY day, but most of the time my family abandons any pr...