daily-closer Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You're Not Getting Rid Of Schilling That Easily
For one day only, it's the return of the Daily Closer!...
Rocky Mountain High (In Colorado)
As Tuco said when he got the drop on Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, "There are two kinds of spurs, my friend. Those that come in by the door [crosses himself], and those that come in by the window." The Rockies came in the latter way, beating the Diamondbacks 4-3 on Sunday to forc...
If There Is An Allah, He'll Permit A Four-Way Tie
Whenever I see a baseball fight late in the season, I picture Colin Mochrie in front of a green screen trying to figure out what's going on, saying "Well, it all started over a bowl of soup! And now ... look at it!"...
Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...
Taste The Rockies, Losers! Taste Them!
The Colorado Rockies need a theme song! After beating the Dodgers on Thursday for their 11th straight win — the longest winning streak in the majors this season — they are on the verge of making the playoffs for only the second time in their history. The Rockies are one game out in the wild-card rac...
Hug It Out, Yankees; You're In The Playoffs
OK, who looked more lifelike: Castro in his latest speech; bin Laden in his last taped address; or George Steinbrenner during Wednesday's Yankees game? They dusted off the long-dead owner, propped him up in a luxury box and had him "watch" New York clinch a playoff berth on Wednesday, the Yankees be...
Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tu...
Love (And The NL Wild Card) Is A Battlefield
This photo is from Sunday, but it tells you all you need to know about the Padres right now. Milton Bradley being helped off the field, his season ended due to injury after a run-in with an umpire. San Diego had already lost center fielder Mike Cameron to an injury, meaning that two-thirds of their...
Ow! My Playoff Chances!
Has a major league player ever before been injured after he was ejected from a game? Come on Elias Sports Bureau, make yourselves useful for once! Milton Bradley may be headed to the DL because of an umpire, he says. It was manager Bud Black who grabbed Bradley and spun him to the ground, preventing...
One Down, Seven To Go ...
Oh, look, we've got our first team out on the dance floor. Quick, someone tell the DJ to keep that 'Kool & The Gang' coming!...
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye ...
If Barry Bonds wants to play another season, it won't be in a San Francisco Giants uniform. Giants owner Peter Magowan handed Bonds the proverbial pink-slip during a 90-minute meeting Thursday night. The Giants informed the press at a news conference last night. (Unfortunately, sans Bonds ... and Ja...
The Mets Are Cursed, And We Know Why
We think we've found the problem, Mets' fans. The reason for your team's sudden collapse is not Willie Randolph's mismanagement of the bullpen, not a stretch of 10 errors in two games, not poor clutch hitting. It all comes down to your very own Steve Bartman. Yes, it's Matt Murphy's fault....
Here Come The Yankees ... Howdy Do!
Everything is coming up pinstripes lately, and Boston fans are none too happy, of course. Andy Pettitte earned his 200th win and Mariano Rivera escaped a bases-loaded jam in the ninth as the Yankees beat Orioles 2-1 Wednesday, New York pulling to within 1½ games of first-place Boston. Do I need to m...
The Yankees 2 1/2 Games Back? Inconceivable!
Well, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (as if I had to tell you), and fittingly we must report that the Dread Pirate Roberts is now in sight of the first-place Red Sox, and gaining rapidly. The Yankees, who were 14 1/2 games behind Boston in May, are now well within striking distance wi...
Things Change
The 1962 New York Mets lost 120 games and finished 60 1/2 games out of first, a result which could not have been worse if Lucy Van Pelt had played in their outfield. But the current Mets have accomplished something that their '62 brothers never did: They have made 10 errors in their past two games....
One Sweet Afternoon For Jim Thome
If you ask me, Jim Thome is exactly the kind of guy to whom Willy Wonka would have left his chocolate factory. (I also sometimes imagine Bob Costas as an Oompa Loompa). Think of baseball with no cattle steroids or corked bats or "You dead, dawg," or Human Growth Hormone or Jose Canseco book signings...
New Power Generation
If only he had hit a 'Glam Slam' ... Prince Fielder's NL-leading and franchise record 46th homerun gave the Brewers an edge as Milwaukee beat Cincinnati, 5-3, to gain some ground in NL Central race. Milwaukee sits a game behind the Cubs, who split two against the Cardinals....
Honey, I Shrunk The AL East Lead
Here we go again ... The Yankees honey mustered six runs in the eighth, immediately erasing a five-run deficit, en route to an 8-7 victory over the Sox at Fenway. Jason Giambi and Robinson Cano started the comeback with home runs off Hideki Okajima. Derek Jeter followed with an RBI single against Jo...
Here Comes The Hurt Again
Alternate headline: Everybody Hurts (Sometime). If there's such a thing as momentum in sports — as if games are a rolling wheel of cheese and players are stumbling down a grassy English hill — then the Yankees just lost it on the eve of their most important series of the season. A.J. Burnett pitched...
This Is Getting Ridiculous
Lee to Theriot to Dempster is the new Tinkers to Evers to Chance? With a runner on third and nursing a one-run lead, reliever Ryan Dempster induced a bad-hop grounder to first baseman Derek Lee, who converted it into a game-ending double play. Cubs 3, Astros 2, and coupled with Milwaukee's 7-4 loss ...