dallas Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....

Implosion Destructo-Porn: Texas Stadium Edition
Preceded by fireworks (and onlookers paying an admission fee), the 39-year-old Texas Stadium was reduced to rubble this morning. Jerry Jones is a secular Shiva: destroying, in order to re-create....

Irving To Milk One Last Cash Grab Out Of Texas Stadium
It'll cost fans and demolition aficionados (I call them demolitionados) $25 per vehicle to watch next month's implosion of Texas Stadium. The hole in the roof is so God can watch the implosion for free. That's the saying, right? [AP]...

The Best Defense Is...Any Defense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dallas Luminaries Join Forces To Raise Awareness Of Super Bowl XLV
The Dallas-Fort Worth Fox affiliate brought a group of notable Dallas sports and news figures together to promote the upcoming Super Bowl (only 334 days!). Can you name them all?...

Porn, Pancakes, Jon Kitna And Jesus: Go Ahead, Rank Them. You Can't.
Some lucky parishioners got a visit from Jon Kitna at a very special breakfast yesterday, called "Porn And Pancakes: NFL Style." It's precisely nothing like you're imagining....

DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...

Josh Howard: Party Monster
Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day....

Douchial Profiling: Cowboys Fan Searched At Philly Airport
It takes a certain kind of person to wear a Cowboys jersey around Philadelphia the week after Dallas knocked the Eagles out of the playoffs. A terroristic kind of person? Without knowing all the facts, we say: probably....

Wade Phillips Cuts A Rug In Miami
Super Bowl parties aren't all hookers and cocaine; sometimes they're about middle-aged white coaches awkwardly doing group dances. The YMCA has never been so simultaneously wholesome and icky. (Video is rated debatably SFW, for graphic scenes of Wade Phillips dancing.)...

Satan, For One, Cares About The Pro Bowl
The devil wants to destroy successful believers, Cowboys o-lineman Leonard Davis tells BPSports.net. That means you, Christian Pro Bowlers! "Satan is definitely on the prowl," Davis says. "He wants to see us fail." [BPSports.net]...

Meyer-To-Cowboys Rumor Too Absurd Not To Print
Some unnamed SEC coaches have been warning recruits that Urban Meyer will be ditching UF for the Dallas Cowboys. Because nothing's better for someone with heart and stress problems than the botoxed face of death staring you down. [Orlando Sentinel]...

Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently
Westboro Baptist Church, best known for disrupting soldiers' funerals and being generally batshit insane, are currently — at this very moment! — picketing outside the Stars/Coyotes game in Dallas. Because nothing saith "abomination unto the Lord" like Marty Turco's goaltending....

Don't. Look. Behind You.
On the same day that everyone reports Wade Phillips will get his extension, the Cowpokes go and lay an egg. A huge, missed-field-goal, turnover, overmatched-secondary-shaped egg.(Via: Kurtenblog)...

NFC Playoff Open Thread: Romo. Favre. Ad Nauseam. Go.
On the plus side, you'll stop hearing about one of these QBs after today. On the minus side, you'll definitely continue hearing about the other. Choose your preferred natural disaster in the comments. [NFL.com]...

Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman And A Baby Walk Into A Bar...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Eagles Fans Allegedly Attack Woman For Wearing Cowboys Jersey
Wearing a Tony Romo jersey in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, last weekend? You better believe that's a face slashing. [MyFoxPhilly]...

Just Two Horsemen Shy Of An Apocalypse
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NFC Wild Card Open Thread: Eagles-Cowboys
"We had Mike McMahon. We had Rodney Peete and Ty Detmer and who was the kid from Ohio? Bobby Hoying!...For 10 years, we've had no quarterback problems — none. Where are people's memories?" So sayeth Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell. Discuss....

Star Spitting Is Worst Thing To Happen In Dallas Since Kennedy Assassination
An Eagles fan/employee "defiled" Cowboys Stadium with a vicious (and viscous) attack on the city of Dallas, football fans, and basic human decency. He spit on the star at midfield. Twice. Hey, that artificial turf is expensive to steam clean!...