dallas Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
One Awfully Strange Way Of Celebrating
We don't know how we missed this the other evening, but apparently, with seconds left and the Mavericks all set to celebrate, coach Avery Johnson ran down the bench to make a substitution. In all his excitement and hurry, he appears to have pulled a Reggie Evans on Josh Howard....
At Last, Nash And Nowitzki, Together Again
While trying to find video of a time when Mavericks coach Avery Johnson's voice was deep — we imagine it just one day rising, like reverse puberty — we came across this apparent promotional video for the Mavs. "The Avery Bunch" are heading to the Western Conference Finals, where they will face the P...
Hasselhoff, Nowitzki Lead Mavs Past Spurs
Boy, man, is Mark Cuban's billion-dollar penis ever gonna come out and play tonight....
It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...
I Believe Dirk and David Hasselhoff Would Approve
I feel like I've seen enough "Lazy Sunday" parodies to last me for the rest of my life. I appreciated the original SNL bit as much as anyone, but at some point, it turned into nothing more than a license for young white people to make their own rap videos. Rarely will any good come from that....
And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......
Dirk Nowitzki Gets His Hasselhoff On
We suppose, had we put two and two together, we could have seen this coming. In a way, it has a certain spectacular cosmic inevitability....
Somehow ... The Series Is TIED?
As we wait for Mark Cuban to sleep off what is almost certainly an enormous (and well-earned) hangover, we turn our morning attentions to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. (No offense to the Mavericks, of course; we are one step closer to the sublime possibility of David Stern handing the ...
Hey, These Playoffs Are Getting Kind Of Fun
If you're one of those cynical souls who doesn't take Rasheed Wallace's word as gospel, we should be in for quite an intriguing evening of basketball. In the first game, we get to find out if this will be a forgettable early chapter in LeBron James' playoff career or if becomes something unique, spe...
One Very Expensive Post
We're off to a very Mark Cuban morning around here. As you might have heard, the Mavericks owner was fined $200,000 by the NBA for running onto the court to protest the refereeing last week and, more to the point, a blog entry he wrote suggesting a new way to select playoff officials....
"Healthy Woman Roof"
A story yesterday in The New York Times detailed when Americans get sayings from other countries as tattoos ... and those sayings turn out to be wrong. The story includes the famous Britney Spears mixup, when she got a Chinese tattoo she thought said "mysterious" but actually said "strange."...
Join Terrell Owens' Special Club
We suppose, in a roundabout way, that it makes sense for fans of Terrell Owens to be fans of Terrell Owens, and Terrell Owens only; rooting for the team that your favorite player T.O. suits up for seems kind of beside the point....
Get Your T.O. Slice Of Funk
The official Terrell Owens Web site has been playing an odd game of hide-and-seek with its T.O. Cowboys rap. One minute it's on the site, the next minute it's off. We don't know what its deal is....
Terrell Owens Can Rap Quicker Than You
In recent months, we have done everything in our power to institute a moratorium on Terrell Owens-related news, if just so that, if we were hit by a bus tomorrow, we would be able to talk to our maker with our pure heart, free of egregious sin....
Cowboys Finally Find A Suitable Replacement For Michael Irvin
As was mentioned briefly here yesterday, The Dallas Morning News is reporting that Terrell Owens has reached an agreement in principle with the Dallas Cowboys. A formal announcement is expected within a few days....
See? We Didn't Make It Up
Whew. Don Nelson really was there. Thank God. We honestly feared our brain might have gone bye-bye there for a moment....
Yes, You Did See Don Nelson At The Oscars
To answer your question, yes, we did watch the Oscars last night, and since we think Crash is aggressively awful, we weren't going to bring it up today....
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego 7, Kansas City 20. So, what did you use for pregame motivation, Marty, the tape of Jim Mora screaming, "PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?!" I feel much pain. • Buffalo 37, Cincinnati 27. Rough day for Chad Johnson. First, someone stole his reindeer (I HATE YOU, whoever it was), and then, they lose to ...
Tuna About To Spoil?
ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported this morning that Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells is considering retiring at the conclusion of this year. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is pushing him to sign an extension, but the death of Parcells' brother a few weeks ago has him thinking retirement, according to Mor...