The Inventory

Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked

5/27/19 11:57AM

Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking "Broken English" When Arrested For Public Intoxication

1/22/19 11:33AM

Old Man Wayne Rooney Was Arrested At Dulles Airport For Something Called "Public Intoxication/Swearing" [Update]

DC United's Nick DeLeon Scores Clutch Game-Tying Goal, Then Chokes Away Decisive Penalty Kick

11/01/18 11:57PM

Old Man Wayne Rooney Has Officially Dragged D.C. United Into The Playoffs

10/21/18 8:09PM

Old Man Wayne Rooney Adds Ridiculous Free-Kick Goal To MLS Highlight Reel

10/18/18 10:29AM

D.C. United Ball Boy Does His Job A Little Too Well

8/16/18 11:33AM

Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Thriving In MLS

8/16/18 10:37AM

Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See

8/13/18 11:11AM

Reporter Hit By Falling Railing On Opening Day At D.C.'s New MLS Stadium

Patrick Redford

Old Man Wayne Rooney Looks To Be Headed To D.C. United

5/10/18 11:12AM

The Future Of American Soccer Might Be Barron Trump?!?

9/22/17 11:51AM

Liquor Store Soccer Team Scores First Against D.C. United

Meanwhile, At The Soccer Halftime Show

Julian Büscher's First Professional Goal Is A Long-Range Doozy

3/01/16 10:06PM

Idiot On The Field Invades Pitch At MLS Playoff Match, Gets Sacked

11/01/15 4:01PM

Jermaine Jones Gets Red Card, Attacks Referee

Patrick Redford

10/28/15 10:08PM

Washington D.C. Politicians Being Shady As Shit About New Soccer Stadium

Barry Petchesky

11/04/14 4:58PM

Eddie Gaven, The Oddest Goalkeeper In MLS History, Retires

Barry Petchesky

10/31/13 5:57PM

NBC Sports Breaks Away At Exact Wrong Moment

8/03/13 10:10PM

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