dc-united - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who the fuck are St. Louis City SC and who the fuck do they think they are?The pattern of a first-year MLS club is pretty well set by now. Team gets announced, we all joke about the league being a Ponzi scheme (still might be!), they begin play in a stadium that looks fun as hell in front of raucous crowds, and then kind of eat it for most of the season. Maybe they pick it...

Old Man Wayne Rooney's MLS Tenure Ended With A Spectacular Postseason MeltdownIt was no surprise that Old Man Wayne Rooney was involved in his team’s last-gasp equalizer, as saving DC United has been a bit of a theme for him throughout his MLS career. Deep into injury time, the ex-Manchester United star whipped a cross from a corner to teammate Frédéric Brillant, who flicked ...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Sick Of These Damn Refs And All This Damn TravelingOld Man Wayne Rooney’s MLS stint is just about done. At the conclusion of this season he’ll leave DC United to become a player-manager for Derby County back in England. Perhaps this is a good time for him to make an exit from American soccer, because he seems pretty fed up with the whole enterprise ...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Will Leave MLS To Be A Player-Coach At Derby County

It looks like Wayne Rooney’s vacation in the United States will only last 18 months. Derby County manager Phillip Cocu confirmed, per the Guardian, on Tuesday that the 33-year-old Englishman will be moving back across the Atlantic in January to join Derby as a player-coach....

Alejandro Bedoya Scores Goal, Calls For Congress To "End Gun Violence"

During the goal celebration after he scored in today’s D.C. United-Philadelphia Union match, Union midfielder Alejandro Bedoya picked up a pitch-side microphone and said into it,“Hey Congress, do something, now! End gun violence!”:...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Scores A Goal From A Million Billion Miles Away

Wayne Rooney has done some cool stuff with D.C. United, in Major League Soccer. He did a lovely free kick goal. He virtually single-handedly dragged the United to the MLS playoffs. An insane two-way highlight from last August was rightly hailed as maybe the best MLS highlight ever. I hereby submit ...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked

While he may not be carving up defense in MLS like he was during the second half of last season anymore, old man Wayne Rooney is still one of the league’s top scoring threats and teams are still figuring out the best way to stop him. The latest creative attempt came from New England Revolution keepe...

Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking "Broken English" When Arrested For Public Intoxication

We learned a couple weeks ago that Old Man Wayne Rooney got popped with a public intoxication charge at Dulles International Airport in December. What we didn’t know then was what exactly it was about the twisted-off-his-ass Rooney that attracted the cops’ attention. We do know now. And it involves ...