dea Page 410 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

That's Not The Ass Of Any Old Ballplayer; That's The Ass Of A Playoff-Spot-Clinching Ballplayer (NSFW-ish)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Formerly Censored Dwarf Painting Restored To Full Nudity
This 16th century Italian masterpiece was finally restored to its original butt-nakedness, after having been painted over for being obscene. Oh, and it's a two-sided canvas, so there's a rear view too....

SportsCenter First Is A Milestone For Attractive, Well-Dressed Female Journalists
At noon today, two female SportsCenter anchors handed the baton off to two other women, a first in the show's long history. Truly this is a monumental day in the long struggle for women's rights....

I Hope You Die, Mr. Weatherman
Bit of a shorter funbag today. I had back surgery yesterday. Fuck off and leave me alone. Your letters:...

Shaun Smith's Package Grabbing: A Music Video Retrospective
Shaun Smith's humorous, ungentlemanly conduct the last two weeks has been an endless source of joy, so why not set video of Smith's junk twisting to Da Lench Mob's "All On My Nut Sac?"...

Because Of Tori Amos, Mick Foley Didn't Fear For His Balls In Barbed-Wire Cage Matches
"Finding solitude in a far corner of the frigid backstage area," recalls the semi-retired hardcore wrestler, right here in Slate.com, "I saw a cloud of my own breath as I pressed the play button. 'Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens. ...'"...

Area Man Shows Disdain For Team By Purchasing Team Merchandise
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Another Wrestler Dies Young: El Gigante, 44
Jorge González, the 7-foot-7 Giant González of the WWF and a former basketball player whom the Atlanta Hawks drafted in 1988, has died, apparently of complications from diabetes. [SLAM! Sports]...

Poonami: Brooklyn Canal Turns Into Literal River Of Human Shit
The Gowanus Canal, which has already tested positive for gonorrhea, ran brown with human waste after this month's tornado. It's like the eleventh plague of Egypt, only, you know, poop. [via Brownstoner]...

Lions Player Holds Up One More Finger Than His Team Has Wins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's A Video Of A Hot Chick Wearing Gator Colors And A 6'5" Guy Who Probably Won't Live Much Longer
The Florida/Alabama kickoff ain't for six days but after this video makes the rounds, the pack of Crimson Tide fans seeking blood shall form at the "northwest side of the stadium" or "Gate 42, Section U-1, Row 1, Seats 3-8."...

Albert Haynesworth: I'm Not "A Slave Or Whatever" to Redskins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

N.Y. Daily News Still Pissed At Flyers Fans Who Booed Grizzly Mom
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The One Where A Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Her Boobs In The Hope Of Getting A Job (NSFW)
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business. (NSFW)...

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: The Saddest Hookup In the World
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dead Political Journalism Of The Week: <em>The New York Times</em> On Linda McMahon
The New York Times's Matt Bai tediously tries to answer the question no one anywhere is asking: "Can Linda McMahon Win in a State That Defines Preppy?"...

Ryan Mallett Is A Big Fan Of Erin Andrews, Sadomasochism
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Thierry Henry Moves Into Heath Ledger’s Old Manor
After months of presumably crashing on friend's sofas and living an Alan Partridge like existence in travel lodges, the good news is that Thierry Henry has finally splashed out on a snazzy New York flat....

Hockey Goons Are Born, Not Made
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

And Now A Return To Terrible Normalcy
Good day? Great day. Thanks again to the crew at Fire Joe Morgan for choosing us as their re-reunion destination. It was a joy to read and was enough of a break for me to get really, really pissed about tacos....