deadspin-2016 Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fuck Everything And Blame Everyone

Blame white people. Blame white men in particular, but reserve plenty of blame for white women. Blame old people, too. Blame rich people, as always. Blame the public at large for Donald fucking Trump getting more votes than Donald Duck. Democracy enacts the will of the public; this is what the publi...

The New Movement Starts Now

This morning, many Americans woke up fearful, wondering what comes next. The only possible answer: four years of hard fucking work. ...

Donald Trump's Victory Speech: "I Am Reaching Out To You For Your Guidance And Your Help"

Donald Trump claimed victory tonight from New York City in a speech that featured the presumptive president-elect stating that his road to the presidency was “not a campaign, but a movement.” An uncorrected transcript from closed captioning follows:...

AP: Donald Trump Will Be The President Of The United States Of America

Today Americans selected Donald Trump—a white-supremacist sexual predator with open contempt for the rule of law, who campaigned on promises to remove First Amendment protections from journalists, punish women who receive abortions, ban Muslims from entering the country, prosecute his opponent, depo...

Clinton Campaign Heads To Bed

CNN's Van Jones: "This Was A White-lash Against A Changing Country"

CNN commentator Van Jones took to the airwaves well past midnight on election night and talked openly about the fear many were feeling, as well as the growing sentiment that this was a “white-lash” after eight years of having a black man as president. ...

This Isn't Fun Anymore

As I type this, a man who called Mexicans rapists, mocked a reporter’s physical disability, bragged about committing sexual assault, and wants to ban an entire religious group from entering the country is leading Hillary Clinton by 150 electoral votes to 109. I feel physically ill. ...

Chris Matthews: John F. Kennedy Would Go Watch Porn Instead Of Election Results

While the first wave of election results was coming into the MSNBC studios, Chris Matthews regaled viewers with an anecdote about presidential horniness. Matthews was discussing political officials who preferred not to watch the news and keep track of election results, including his former boss Tip ...

Clinton Wins Several States And Pulls Ahead

The Associated Press has called Illinois, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Washington D.C., Delaware, Maryland for Hillary Clinton, giving the Democratic party candidate a 68-48 lead for the moment. Meanwhile, Trump won South Carolina, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Tennessee....

At Least Four People Shot Near Los Angeles Polling Place [Updating]

According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s office, at least four people were shot near a polling place in Azusa, California. Captain Jeff Scroggins told the Los Angeles Times that police were dealing with a “heavily armed” shooter and the Azusa PD warned citizens to stay away from the area. Local...

Welcome to Deadspin's Rigged Voter Fraud 2016 Liveblog

After 317 primary debates, far too many GOP candidates, countless repetitions of the word “email,” and one Billy Bush downfall, we have finally made it. My friends, in just a few hours, this godforsaken presidential election will be over....

Guess Who Got His Twitter Account Back

Much to our dismay, the final days of the election brought news that famed Twitter personality Donald Trump had his account confiscated as part of his staff’s last-ditch effort to maintain some degree of dignity. But you cannot maintain that which was never there. And now, our prayers seem to have b...

Here's How (Some) <i>New York Times</i> Staffers Are Voting

Like many major news organizations, the New York Times has a policy that forbids its writers and editors from publicly endorsing any candidate. Ancient journalism folklore states that ideally one shouldn’t have opinions—doing so would anger our one true god, Objectivity—but given that this isn’t pos...

The Election That Almost Ate Our Souls

People hated the 2012 presidential election, too. They publicly prayed for its end. It was irritating and stupid; the discourse was cheap and disappointing. Like every other election of our lifetimes, it was, all agreed, the most important, yet somehow comprised a handful of seemingly randomly-chose...

Our Favorite Moments From This Hellish Election Season

The 2016 election season will mercifully come to an end just a few short hours form now. Thank fucking God. Before we say our final goodbyes to the election from hell, we thought it would be fun to take a look back at our favorite moments from this march towards the abyss....

Earth To MORON

Hello... McFly? Anybody home???...

Donald Trump Uses <i>Fox & Friends</i> Appearance To Burn Tiffany Trump One Last Time

Earlier this morning, Donald Trump stopped by one of his favorite cable TV haunts, Fox & Friends, for one last campaign call-in. Also on the docket: Burning his very own daughter. ...

Report: Bill Belichick Did Write That Letter To Donald Trump

At a rally last night in New Hampshire, Donald Trump read a glowing letter of support that he claimed had been penned by Bill Belichick:...

Trump Claims Tom Brady Endorsement; Recites Glowing Letter He Says Bill Belichick Sent Him [Updates]

At a rally in Manchester, New Hampshire this evening, empty gas station salami wrapper Donald Trump revealed the endorsements of a pair of New England Patriots heroes. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick purportedly told the future former candidate for president that they’d vote for him, and Trump even rea...

Curt Schilling, World Series Hero, Wants Me Dead<em></em>

Curt Schilling, noted opinion-haver and former baseball star, is no fan of journalists. Never mind that he, uh, works for a media company and used to be employed by ESPN, Curt will not pass up an opportunity to rip the LIBERAL MEDIA. To him, advocating that journalists should be hanged from trees is...