deadspin-x Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phoenix Jones Is The Hero Seattle Deserves But Doesn't Need Right Now
Gawker weighed in on this earlier today, but it bears repeating and updating....
Today In "Bus Driver Gets Stabbed By Masturbating Passenger" News
"Authorities say the driver was picking up passengers at the Silver Spring station when he was told by several patrons that a man in the back of the bus had exposed himself and was masturbating. The driver asked the man to stop. As the bus approached the Wheaton station, police say the man got into...
If You Ever Get Chased By A Wild Turkey, Run (And Also Keep The Camera Rolling Like This Brave Lady)
Duffy Kelly, a producer for News10 in Sacramento, ventured out into the suburban wild recently to see if—as a few of her neighbors had claimed—her local wild-ish turkeys attack. She didn't realize that she was walking straight into a horror film (one in which the villain is a mostly harmless game ...
Cockblocked By David Duke!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
One Armand De Brignac Nebuchadnezzar For Only $100,000! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Zac-Efron-And-Heather-Graham-Inspired Chicago Bar Bill
People are making a big deal out of the epic bar tab this week (full version here), but I don't see why. Far as I can tell, it was just another Tuesday night in the Board Room, Chicago's epicenter of cool. Another Tuesday night with the top people in the Midwest. Have you been to the Board Room? It'...
As Taco Shop Brawls Go, This One's Really Good For About 30 Seconds
The fun starts at the 0:53 mark, when a guy wearing a #69 jersey with his socks pulled up to his knees unsuccessfully challenges two fellas to a duel in the neighborhood taco shop. Of particular interest are his attempts to stand back up after 1) getting dropped with a punch to the head and 2) get...
Let's Watch Video Of A Guy Almost Get Crushed By A Fighter Jet On An Aircraft Carrier
Via a tipster's "Navy-jet-fighter-pilot-friend" comes this video that his Navy jet fighter pilot friend's superior officer probably didn't exactly want to see turn up on YouTube. But it did. So, why not share it and expose Maverick as the rule-breaking renegade he always was?...
Here's Video Of A One-Punch Knockout In A Park
What starts out as a nature film about squirrels, pigeons and rat holes in Tompkins Square Park quickly turns into what very well may be a snuff film at the 0:30 mark. Enjoy!...
Drunk Lady Took Golf Cart To CVS To Buy A Scarecrow And Bottle Of Canadian Mist
Some narc motorist in Chesterton, Ind. saw a 57-year-old lady named Jacqueline Hamilton swerving all over the road in a golf cart Wednesday night. He tried to intervene on society's behalf with some real talk, "but she wasn't very polite to him." As such, law was contacted....
This Week In News About Werewolves
"According to a Conway (Ark.) Police Department incident report, the subject kicked open the front door of a student's residence at Carrington Apartments on Cleveland Avenue, ran through the apartment and exited by jumping from the two-story balcony. ... The subject stated that a 'large beast,' whi...
Snoop Dogg Requests The Pleasure Of Ryan Giggs And Gareth Bale's Company At His Upcoming Show
The similarities are amazing, to the mind of one Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr....
Pussyblocked By Tom Waits!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. ...
20 Things Angry Buffalo Fans Wrote To A Female Sports Columnist Who Criticized The Bills
Last week, Jennifer Gish—a sportswriter who is a woman—wrote a column for the Albany Times Union that questioned "whether the Bills faithful had a right to demand respect after a 2-0 start." After it was published, some Bills fans wrote to Gish. Here is what they told her (I've taken out the newspap...
Let's Watch A Dutch Guy Scare The Living Hell Out Of A Chinese Guy On The Subway
This video's called "Chinese vs Brawl Dutch (FIGHT)." Though it's difficult to understand what, exactly, is being said and disappointing how, exactly, they back away from the brink without resorting to violence, it's oddly mesmerizing to see Chinese get in the wrong Brawl Dutch's face....
Here's The "Wasted Man's Nightmare Stuck In A Funhouse" Video You Won't Regret Watching
The good folks over at Sharapova's Thigh sent along this mesmerizing footage of the most accurate depiction of a carnival-setting bad trip mine eyes have ever seen. It's the laughter. That judging laughter. Stop the kaleidoscopic mayhem....
Today In Exploding Toilets News
"Authorities say a woman was taken to a local hospital after a toilet she was using exploded at the General Services Administration Building in Washington, D.C. Fire and EMS spokesman Pete Piringer says the woman has serious, but non-life-threatening injuries. Piringer says when D.C. Fire and EMS ...
Rihanna's Bikini Top Offends Northern Ireland Farmer In Quaintest Dispute Ever
Well, this is adorable, and certainly newsworthy: Rihanna, who has probably worn a bikini top for ninety percent of her adult life, recently had "a conversation" with a Northern Ireland farmer named Alan Graham to discuss her wardrobe. As a result of the conversation, Rihanna will probably not wea...
The Biggest Loser In This Street Fight Is A Weave
Don't worry if you miss some of this girl-on-girl street fisticuffs on the first go-round. This "My Hood Production" presents it in full and slo-mo speeds. In a sense, the production value gives you as good a vantage point as the numerous young kids brought to observe this fight, the reason for wh...
Football-Recruit Impersonator Gets Arrested For DWI In Real Coach's Car
"A teenager claimed to be a University of New Mexico Lobo football recruit as police arrested him for DWI in head coach Mike Locksley's vehicle. Joshua Butts, 19 was pulled over in a dark blue SUV near University Stadium moments before Saturday's kickoff. The vehicle is registered to Locksley and h...