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Piggy Poop Balls Has Been Doxxed (Photo NSFW Because Pig Has Giant Poop-Smeared Balls)
Buzzfeed weighs in with the biggest story of the day (not even joking). Katie Notopoulos has uncovered the identity of Piggy Poop Balls, internet porkmeme and Deadspin mascot and hall-of-fame nominee. Spoiler alert: he's a pig with giant balls and he pooped on his giant balls....

Can Anyone Tell Us What This Weird, Sexually Explicit "Hooker Application" Is? (NSFWish)
We received this intriguing document from reader Steve, who says he was cleaning out a storage unit full of old tenants' stuff, and found this in a dresser. It's a very detailed, very intimate questionnaire, and neither he nor we have any idea what in the heck it's for....

Tuesday Night Fights: A.J. Daulerio On Why You Must Dress "Slutty, Sexy" To Avoid A Beatdown In Southwest Philly
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "HOOD FIGHTS|At the Club Sikira in Philadelphia, PA (women edition)." Tonight's commentator: Deadspin Editor Emeritus A.J. Daulerio. (Coming next week: The Fremont Stre...

This Is What Happens When Newspaper Design Tries To Get Creative
Via Reddit and Bryan Armen Graham, the front of the C section of today's Mankato (Minn.) Free Press. That doesn't even look like a "G."...

Tuesday Night Fights: Lax Bruhs Are So Super Hardcore, They Brawl With Helmets And Gloves Still On
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Lax Locker Boxing." Tonight's commentator: Deadspin bro Dom Cosentino. (Coming next week: TBA.)...

Tonight's <em>Jeopardy!</em> Tournament Of Champions Game Winner Celebrated With D-Generation X's "Suck It" Move
Colby Burnett earned his way to Jeopardy's Tournament Of Champions by winning the Teacher's Tournament aired back in November, and in tonight's first final game he cruised to a big victory by being the only contestant to provide the correct response....

Burglars Steal $7,500 Worth Of Vintage Porn From Michigan Couple
Earlie Johnson spent years building his collection of rare pornography, which he claims featured every African American to ever appear in porn from 1970 onward and was worth $7,500. On Tuesday, Johnson and his fiancée, Angela Morton, came home to find that the entire collection had been stolen by b...

Tuesday Night Fights: Rodney Anonymous Examines A Redneck Double Feature Involving Brass Knuckles And Dumpsters
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: the since-removed "Crazy drunk redneck street fight with brass knuckles knockout" and "Redneck lady thrown in Dumpster." Tonight's commentator: occasional Deadspin cont...

How To Jerk Off In A War Zone: Servicemembers Weigh In
Last week, we published a military doctor's very useful field guide to masturbating while on active duty. Unsurprisingly, it elicited plenty of comment on the topic from experienced servicepeople, some of which we have collected for your enjoyment. Got anything to add? Leave a comment in the discus...

"I Chase Him, I Bite Him, Bad Man, He Tasty": Police Dog Writes Witness Statement
Prosecutors in England, prepping for a case, repeatedly contacted a police department for details on the arrest—specifically, they demanded a witness statement from "PD Peach," an officer who assisted. The problem is, PD stands for Police Dog, and Peach is an adorable German Shepherd, and as such is...

Did The Movie <em>Heathers</em> Kill The Name Heather?
Welcome to Dataspin, a new weekly data visualization of whatever the fuck....

The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain i...

Stranded Carnival Cruise Ship's Toilets Are So Full Of Shit They Are Falling Off The Walls, And Other Gross Details From Someone Aboard
Jayme Lamm—freelance sportswriter and proprietor of TheBlondeSide.com—is currently stranded aboard the Carnival Triumph, a cruise ship that has been without power for four days after an engine room fire. We've received sporadic dispatches from her over the past few days via text message, and she's ...

Let's All Watch Marco Rubio's Panicked Drink Of Water In Extreme Slow Motion
It was the swig heard 'round the world. Florida senator Marco Rubio, tasked with delivering the official Republican response to President Obama's State of the Union address, found himself parched and distant from the necessary tool to quench that burning fire. In other words, he was thirsty. Usual...

Tuesday Night Fights: Four Ladies, One Elevator Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "quebra pau no elevador." Tonight's commentator: Emma Carmichael. (Coming next week: Redneck action, yo.)...

Watch <i>Seinfeld</i> Slowed Down And Try Not To Die Laughing
Jerry's high-pitched nasal voice still shines through, but it's got a little drunk-guy-in-the-corner-of-the-bar-talking-to-no-one-in-particular vibe to it now that it's been slowed down. A tip of the cap to Samer's friend who does not use Twitter for bringing this to our attention....

Tuesday Night Fights: Philly Stripper Ogles Exotic-Dancer Brouhaha, Assesses Blame
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: the since-deleted "Strippers Fight Over A Dollar." Tonight's commentator: Anna, dancer at Penthouse Club Philly and aspiring Eagles columnist and Flyers fan who just bo...
![Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Live Los Angeles Police Standoff Features Suspect Doing Whippit After Whippit [UPDATE: Video Highlights]
This is amazing. A slow-speed Los Angeles car chase that began as a DUI pursuit appears to have stalled, as the suspect sits in his car, filling up balloon after balloon from a canister, then inhaling the contents. He's surrounded by police with guns drawn....

New Hampshire Man Can't Get His 27 Orphaned Bear Cubs To Go The Hell To Sleep
You know what's not easy? Taking care of 27 orphaned bear cubs. Sure, bear cubs are cute and furry, and helping to keep them alive probably fills one with a warming sense of accomplishment, but all that good stuff fades away when the bears won't stop fidgeting and just fucking go to sleep already....

Tuesday Night Fights: Polish Street-Rasslin' Leaves The Masked Man With More Questions Than Answers
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "NEW 2013 Hardcore Nuts Crazy Drunk Polish Guys Fight on the Street Wrestling." Tonight's commentator: Deadspin's Dead Wrestler of the Week Associate The Masked Man (wi...