deadspin-xy Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Dude From Brooklyn Who Thinks He's A Jedi Master Is Whining About His Light Saber Getting Stolen
"The Bedford-Stuyvesant engineer was at a Myrtle Avenue bar last fall when a thief snatched what Obi-Wan Kenobi once described as 'an elegant weapon for a more civilized age' - a $400 custom sword Michael used to teach young Jedi honor and self-esteem. 'Who steals somebody's light saber? It's like ...
Watch A Shopping-Mall Brawler With Panties Exposed Kick Her Foe In The Face
This ladyfight outside the Giti 8 women's clothing store at the University Mall in Tampa was so mesmerizing in its brutal panties exposure that a reporter just had to take it and show it to shoppers who might have missed it....
Childbirth Is A Precious Rite Of Passage, If You Enjoy Agony, Terror, And Flying Jets Of Blood
When it comes to the Birthing Experience, I'd like to focus on the end, the summing up of everything, when the doctor in the delivery room turned to me and held up the gore-smeared, still-pulsing umbilical cord and asked if I would like to cut it....
Cockblocked By Blood!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
How To Care For A Bleeding Child
I have two children, and they are remarkably adept at hurting themselves. They bash into tables, chairs, doors, shelves, bedposts, pits filled with poisonous spikes, etc. One time my daughter was running around with a mirror, tripped, fell, and put her head through the mirror, shattering it to piece...
"Dumb Fuckers" Attend University Club Fair, Student Paper Reports
Unlike the inexplicable floating fuck in the Greenville News's story on the SEC Title Game, we have a pretty good idea of how the Suffolk Journal ended up running this subhed yesterday. As explained by a red-faced editor's note, it was some joke text meant to be switched out later, only it never was...
The Million-Dollar Drexel University LSD Bust: A Slideshow
'Twas a bad, bad day for lovers of the LSD on the campus of Philadelphia's Drexel University....
If This Drunk Canadian Just Kept His Mouth Shut, His Hat Wouldn't Have Gotten Pissed On
Oh, this poor, poor Canadian chappie. He's 34. He calls out a kid with a Mohawk because "we used to shave our heads." Then, he confronts brochacho wearing sunglasses at night in homage to Corey Hart, more likely than not. He then pulls the surrogate-father line of meddlin'....
Internet Correction: Ice Cube's "Good Day" Was Actually Nov. 30, 1988
When a blogger attempted to identify the exact date rapped about in Ice Cube's "It Was A Good Day," using only clues from the song, we were impressed. But a few things didn't add up about the January 20, 1992 date arrived upon. Was the Goodyear Blimp grounded that day? Did it rain in South Central...
Hand Trying To Win Job
Here's the tail end of a package that ran on KSTP-TV in St. Paul tonight about Marlins pitcher Brad Hand, a Minneapolis native fighting for a spot in the Miami rotation. You can see a bit of a giggle in sports anchor Joe Schmit's voice as he realizes the unfortunate turn of phrase in the over-the...
This Weekend's Ironman Series Event In Australia Featured Nudity
In Australia, there's a flavor of the Ironman Triathlon that's essentially a lifeguarding skills competition. Given that nation's love of the beach, it's fairly popular featuring ski-paddling, boarding, swimming, and beach-running....
The Internet Has Discovered The Exact Day Featured In Ice Cube's "It Was A Good Day" [UPDATE]
Murk Avenue reports, after exhaustive research involving Lakers-SuperSonics games and Yo! MTV Raps airings, that the Good Day in question was January 20, 1992, 20 years ago a week ago. We will forever remember it. ...
Cockblocked By Racial Stereotypes!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
This Is One Of Few Quotes That Improves A Story About A Man Who Stole 10,000 Pairs Of Panties
"He smelled them all the time even while driving," said police Major General Saroj Promcharoen. [Daily Telegraph] (H/T Fox5)...
As Cop-Kicker Mugshots Go, This One's Sadly Artistic
"Medena Jones, while driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, reportedly hit a parked car and drove away at about 1:50 p.m., according to Manassas police Sgt. Eddie Rivera. Police found Jones driving her car, reportedly intoxicated ... soon afterward. Jones apparently kicked two police officers while a...
Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...
The State Of The Union Is Punchy In Front Yards, Trailer Parks And Beyond (NSFW)
Per YouTube uploader kustomcougar, "Cocky neighbor gets his big mouth shut after constant harassment. Then he throws a rock at my brothers truck."...
"His Schlong" Was An Actual Answer On Tonight's <em>Family Feud</em>
If it's Monday, it means a sex reference on a game show. After last week's Donkey Punch incident on Jeopardy!, we present to you an answer nobody guessed to the Family Feud question (okay, the clues on that show are actually imperatives) "Name something an airline pilot might be holding on a long...
Cockblocked By Gum!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
9 Things I Learned In The Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous
The Parent Encouragement Program is a series of classes and workshops that are available to parents living in the D.C. area. The introductory class is free, and so I went a couple of weeks ago, because it didn't cost anything and because I need all the help I can get. The title of the workshop was "...