deadspin-xy Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There's Finally Proof That Laundry Detergent Is An Effective Lubricant
"At about 6 a.m., a groundskeeper of Blue Rock Springs Park heard a man screaming when he arrived at work. He then called the police to investigate. Upon arrival, police found a 21-year-old man stuck in a child's swing, which has two leg holes. The man told police that he had been stuck in the swin...
This Is What Happens When Things Get Real At The Tuscaloosa Waffle House
"Investigators have determined that the fight was linked to an August robbery, [Tuscaloosa Police Department spokesman Sgt. Brent ] Blankley said. ... The camera that captured the fight on video was turned on after security in the restaurant made the parties involved leave the building. Blankley s...
Not The Bees!
A sun-blocking cloud of 25 million bees shut down a Utah highway after a bee-laden semi overturned. Bees....
A Lesson In Failed Woman Juggling
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
German Adventurer May Or May Not Have Been Eaten By A Fugitive Cannibal In The South Pacific
This much is certain: 40-year-old Stefan Ramin's ashes were found near a cooking fire on the island of Nuku Hiva, in French Polynesia, last week. From there, uncertainty emerges....
Presenting Fight Night From The Denny's In Binghamton, NY
Writes amateur filmmaker twall0313 of this slice of Americana he opted to share with the world, "Two guys get into a fight at a Denny's in Binghamton, New York, right outside of Binghamton University. It happened around 4am and it was awesome."...
This Week In Frozen Armadillo Attack News
"According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal. The pair apparently began arguing over the price of the item when the man twice threw the armadillo at the woman. The animal first struck the woman in the leg...
The Lingerie Football League Hopes Michael Jackson's Daughter Will Help Develop "Future LFL Athletes"
Somehow, somebody at world headquarters of a football league with a fan base comprised, mostly, of dudes who like watching women in bra-and-sport-panties uniforms partake in jiggly rough-housing stroked their inspiration wand and chanted something to the tune of, "We can be an inspirational entity ...
Happy Halloween! Meet The Human Centipede Pumpkin
We here at Deadspin are great fans of the Human Centipede series of films—the second of which hit theaters a week and a half ago. And we're also great fans of Halloween, or something. So when some reader—in this case Adam K., of lovely Wrightsville Beach, NC—sends us a Human Centipede-carved pumpkin...
Won't You Help The Man With The 100-Pound Scrotum?
The Las Vegas Review-Journal today brings us the heartbreaking story of one Wesley Warren Jr., who just three years ago possessed a scrotum as normally sized as yours or mine. (Click here for video.) But something happened, something doctors can't explain. Suffering from scrotal elephantiasis, Warr...
Strip-Search Demanded At World Scrabble Championship To Find Letter "G"
It may come as news to most of the universe that the World Scrabble Championships took place last week, and ended yesterday when Nigel Richards of New Zealand defeated Aussie Andrew Fisher, 3-2. Richards ended the five-day tournament with 95 points on the word "omnified"—which, as proof that humans ...
Steven Seagal Will Keep America Safe From Invading Mexicans
"Seagal, 59, was sworn in this week as the Hudspeth County Sheriff's Office newest deputy. The sheriff's office said he'll be working full time to help secure the U.S.-Mexico border. 'It became very clear to me that Mr. Seagal is not in this for the celebrity or the publicity,' Sheriff Arvin West s...
Cockblocked On A Boat!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
This Story About A Shoving Match In Pakistan's Parliament Includes Footage Of Other Legislative Fisticuffs
According to Pakistan Today, "Saner elements in the National Assembly (NA) blocked the way of the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) and the Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) parliamentarians on Tuesday as they tried to physically assault each other in fits of anger following the fiery speech of Op...
Superhero Phoenix Jones Went To Court In Seattle Today And Shared With The World His True Identity
"During the hearing Thursday, a court officer asked Jones to remove his mask and he complied. He also wore a superhero uniform under a button-down shirt. Prosecutors told a judge they would need more time to decide whether to file charges in the case. Jones put his mask back on after the hearing t...
Great Sex Can Literally Blow Your Mind And Wipe Your Memory Clean
According to a case study in the September issue of the Journal of Emergency Medicine, a husband was so good at pleasuring his 54-year-old wife, she temporarily couldn't remember the previous 24 hours—a condition called transient global amnesia....
Some Folks Play Dice For Money On The Subway Near The Pentagon
Tipster Cyrus the Virus was kind enough to record and send in some video he captured of a subway floor dice game last night. Unfortunately, he put the camera down before one player broke every rule that Ashy Larry has ever championed by making a scene when the dice fell wrong....
Phoenix Jones Is The Hero Seattle Deserves But Doesn't Need Right Now
Gawker weighed in on this earlier today, but it bears repeating and updating....
Today In "Bus Driver Gets Stabbed By Masturbating Passenger" News
"Authorities say the driver was picking up passengers at the Silver Spring station when he was told by several patrons that a man in the back of the bus had exposed himself and was masturbating. The driver asked the man to stop. As the bus approached the Wheaton station, police say the man got into...
If You Ever Get Chased By A Wild Turkey, Run (And Also Keep The Camera Rolling Like This Brave Lady)
Duffy Kelly, a producer for News10 in Sacramento, ventured out into the suburban wild recently to see if—as a few of her neighbors had claimed—her local wild-ish turkeys attack. She didn't realize that she was walking straight into a horror film (one in which the villain is a mostly harmless game ...